Regular Date Nights Can Refresh Your Relationship

The divorce rate spikes among married couples after they have children. The pressures of raising kids, running a household and holding down a job leave precious little time for reconnecting with each other, leaving spouses vulnerable to affairs or feeling like they've just "fallen out of love" with one another. Take the time to listen objectively to your daily conversations with your spouse. Do you talk exclusively about the kids? About home repairs and chores? About what bills to pay and when? It may be time to refresh your relationship with a night out together, away from the kids, the house and the bills.

If you can manage it, have date night on a weekly basis. However, if finances or lack of childcare is an issue, be sure to at least have date night once a month. If you absolutely can't leave your children with someone else, set aside time once a week when the kids are in bed to reconnect with each other.

Date night need not be lavish or expensive and doesn't necessarily even need to be overtly romantic. The important thing is spending quality time with your spouse and remembering all the reasons why you're together in the first place. For this reason, most of the time you will want to choose activities that promote interaction. Taking a picnic to a local park or taking a walk together at a scenic location are some inexpensive ways to enjoy your time together and create a quiet atmosphere for talk. Many couples make the mistake of always choosing dinner and a movie for their date night. This quickly becomes predictable and boring and sitting side-by-side at a movie doesn't promote the kind of interaction you need.

However, from time to time simply getting out and having fun together can be as important as heart-to-heart conversation. Go dancing at a posh nightclub. Attend a sporting event together dressed in your team colors. Play billiards at an upscale pool hall. If your finances are limited, consider rollerblading together, playing Frisbee in the park or finding a local arcade and playing video games together.

For couples who can't get out of the house at all, there are several activities that can be enjoyed while the kids are asleep. One night, feed the kids early and after their in bed prepare a gourmet meal together and eat it by candlelight. Get out your wedding photographs and make a scrapbook together. Play a board game or cards. The key is finding an activity you can do together that doesn't involve child care, home repair or chores.

About The Author:
Jonathon Hardcastle writes articles on many topics including Family, Kids And Teens, and Relationships
Posted: 02-10-2006
Article Source: ArticlesBase.com

Simma & Kate's Strategies for Cross-Generational Relationship Building

Here we highlight what we think are the best ways to push past generational barriers and build strong intergenerational relationships. We've divided the strategies into mindset tips (how to approach cross-generational differences) and practical tips (the small things you can do during a conversation to improve your communication).

Mindset Strategies

Approach with Interest. Approach generational differences with interest, not fear or negativity. Take interest in the interests of others. You can learn fascinating things about other people if you choose to do so.

Take a Learning Orientation. The value of difference is that you can learn from each other. If someone from another generation has specific skills that you don't (say, an appreciation for looking at history and tradition, or the ability to use email effectively), consider setting up a skill exchange. These type of self-development opportunities translate into more opportunities for career advancement as well as more fulfilling and successful workplace environments.

Be Mindful of how your assumptions are influencing your interactions.

Narrow your categories. In your mind, how long do people stay categorized by their generation: "one of the old guys" or "part of that young group"? At what point do they become individuals: Antoine, the man who likes motorcycles, fought in World War II, and thinks Elvis is still the King; Janelle, the woman who runs marathons, loves the city, and is allergic to peanuts? Categorizing people is a natural process that allows us to make sense of the world around us. You'd have a hard time describing an apple without using categories like a type of fruit, sweet or tangy, green or red, Granny Smith or Braeburn. Life is richer and your observations and reflections of people more accurate if you can move away from simple classification and allow for individual variations.

Put yourself in their shoes. Do you know what their day-to-day is like? Do you know what motivates them, excites them, gets them down--or how they want to be treated? Empathize with their situation, needs, and values. You can do this sometimes directly by asking questions and taking an interest in their interests and indirectly by getting involved in some of the traditions and pastimes of another generation. Watch a TV show geared for another generation. Look at a website that focuses on the issues of other generations. Get familiar with music that spans generations like jazz, blues, rock and roll, classic, hip hop, and world music from cultures you are not familiar with. Understanding each others music can help build perspective.

Behavioral Strategies

Be flexible as to the means of your communication (face-to-face, email, etc.)

Avoid generational jargon. Speak in plain terms and avoid idioms that are not widely understood.

Be attentive. Look for signs that you may be misunderstanding each other, whether it is a confused look, an unclear response, or an unintended reaction.

Practice active listening. Turn up your listening dial across generational differences. Listen for clear expressions of different values or outlooks than you have. Seek to understand the individual better by listening carefully to what they say (or don't say).

Show Respect. Most generations have felt they don't get the respect they deserve. Using the strategies above, you can show coworkers that you do respect them, their background, and their outlook on life--and build powerful relationships as a result.

About The Author:
Simma Lieberman, consultant & speaker-helps organizations create more profitable cultures-Specializes in Diversity & Inclusion & Power Living. Contact at 1-510-527-0700, Simma@SimmaLieberman.com, http://www.SimmaLieberman.com Kate Berardo, an intercultural trainer & consultant-Specializes in programs on cross-cultural awareness & multicultural teambuilding.She is founder of global resource site Culturosity.com. http://www.culturosity.com.
Submitted: 2006-10-21
Article Source: GoArticles

3 Steps To Finding A Thai Bride

Have you decided to look overseas to find a successful relationship? Are the pressures of life in the fast lane too high to allow you to get out and socialise properly? Do you want to lose the hassle associated with dating in your own country?

If this sounds familiar, then you are probably well on the way to finding a bride from another country. There are several ways you can do this, but there are some important considerations to bear in mind:

1. Know what you want

You’re probably looking for a secure relationship, perhaps even one that will lead to marriage and children. This is a serious commitment and it makes sense to sit down and think about what you really want to achieve. Use your past experiences and your hopes for the future to draw up a list of qualities you would like to see in someone you would consider having a relationship with. This can be anything; from their age and background to their taste in music or a passion for the outdoors. Most overseas dating services will try and match you as closely as they can, so the more specific you can be the better.

2. Choose a professional agency

There are hundreds of agencies around that offer matchmaking services for western men. Always check out any agency you are considering signing up with, to make sure that they are reputable and that they have the right contacts and a secure set up. You don’t want to lose your money without meeting anyone, so use an agency that’s been recommended to you or that can show a good record of success.

3. Don’t rush

The secret to success is to take your time. Once you’ve registered with an agency and you’ve been introduced to ladies who match your requirements, take the time to get to know any prospective partners properly so that you’re sure you’re happy to embark on a relationship. Although much of your relationship will be conducted on a long-distance basis, you can still achieve happiness and success if you don’t rush.

About The Author:
The Thai Connection is an established introduction agency that brings together British men and Thai ladies. To register or find out more, click on mail order Thai brides to visit our website.
Article Source: NewFREEArticles.com

Releasing Relationship Pain

Often times when a relationship ends there are things left unsaid and questions left unanswered. Through the use of this technique you can resolve these issues and allow yourself to move on and let go of the past. This technique can also be used with those that are now deceased.

Sit yourself in a quiet space where you will not be disturbed. Ideally have an empty chair or seat opposite you. Close your eyes for a moment, and take a few deep breaths and allow yourself to relax and let go.

When you open your eyes imagine that you can see the person with whom things are left unsaid sitting opposite you. All you need to do is to pretend they are there, so if you think you are having problems visualising just pretend.

Say to the person whatever is on your mind, whatever you want to release. If there is a situation that you want to resolve, for example the break down of a relationship then talk about that.

When you have finished you may want a response from them. If so then go and sit in the other chair and pretend you are them answering back. Keep your mind focussed on what was said when you do and allow the answer to flow. Remember that if you consciously say what you want to hear rather than what you really hear you are only cheating yourself, no one else.

When they have finished speaking, sit back in your original chair.

Keep up the conversation, moving from chair to chair assuming the other person's persona when in their chair until the conversation comes to an end. Then return to your original chair and thank them for their time before going about your business.

This technique is incredible valuable for letting go of pain, guilt and hurt from any sort of relationship, not just romantic relationships. Often when performing this technique you will be surprised by the answers that you receive from the other person.

About the Author:
Jason Johns is a personal coach, dedicated to achieving success for his clients. He products a wide variety of audio programs and courses on everything from weight to confidence to abundance to past lives. Visit his website, http://www.stateofhypnosis.com, for more information.
Article Source: www.iSnare.com

The Question of Lying in your Relationship

While you know that your mother always told you that it was a bad thing to lie, it seems that more and more people are doing it. From your friends to your local political leaders, it seems that everyone is trying to stretch the truth in order to make them either look better or to protect someone from harm. But does lying really achieve that? Can you better your relationship through lying?

What a lie is

One of the reasons that lying is so ambiguous in its application is because we tend to make its meaning vague. In the simplest manner, lying is not telling the truth. However, does that mean that you can't stretch the truth a little? Does that mean that you can't lie a little? Is it really all or nothing? Some people believe that lying is avoiding telling the truth as opposed to actually not telling it. Hence lying by omission has become a hot topic of discussion. If a person doesn't tell someone something, are they lying or are they just avoiding telling the truth?

Creating your definition

The truth about lying is that everyone has their own way of looking at it. When you're in a serious relationship, it will help to figure out what you and your partner feel about lying and how you should see it in your everyday conversations. Will you have a no tolerance approach to lying or will you be okay with little lies? Talk to your partner about any lies that you have told them and see what their reaction is. You need to see just where they start to feel comfortable with dishonesty.

The question of honesty

What you may find in your discussion about lying is that one lie can actually lead to another lie and another and another. In these cases, it can seem like there are more lies than truths. And in that case, a relationship that uses little lies over and over again might not be as truthful as it seems. When you're caught in one lie, you can start to seem as though you can not be trusted to tell the truth. In a relationship, this can be the beginning of the end.

The trust that you have

In your romantic and personal relationships, you need to have a sense of trust in each other. You want to trust that the other person will be there for you and that they will tell you the truth. This is where the argument for lying becomes straightforward lying begets distrust. A relationship that allows even a little lying can start to crumble once it is revealed. While it might not seem like a big deal, the idea that one would lie about something little can make a partner wonder if they would not feel bad about lying about something bigger.

It's a snowball effect of questioning and unease that develop in a relationship. Are there going to be times that you lie? Of course, but the idea is that the general rule should be that the practice should be avoided at all costs.

Building your honesty

While it may be uncomfortable, the easiest thing to do when you want to build trust in your relationship is to start by unraveling any lies that you might currently be caught up in. This means that you will start by telling your partner what you may have been holding back and then working on being more truthful in the future.

You will want to try to stop yourself whenever you realize that you're about to say something that's not truthful. Try to find other ways to respond to certain situations in order to not lie. For example, if you are asked your opinion, you can always say that you're rather not say than lie about what you think.

Never lie again?

Be truthful you will lie again. We're human and it's just something that you can become mindless about. But what you can do is learn how to be more truthful in your everyday interactions with others. Try to understand what motivates you to lie are you trying to impress someone? Trying to hide something?

When you start to understand the 'why' behind your lying, you will find that addressing this 'why' will be the end of your lying ways. Honestly.

About The Author:
Mailcucan
What Women Want?
Take a peek into her inner world and know what your woman wants today! Secrets about her inner desires, wants and needs all revealed!.
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Posted: 30-10-2006
Article Source: ArticlesBase.com

Sacred Love - Making Your Relationship Your Number One Priority is the Key to Long Term Happiness

Make your work a hobby. Make your sport refreshment. Make your diet considered and let your mood be chosen. Let your priorities be love.

It is such a great opportunity to consider “what is important”. If you want a relationship that is filled with love, then you’ll need to make love your highest priority. This seems easy and obvious when we are 19 years old, but when we turn 20, we seem to forget it.

It is so easy for Mum and Dad, friends, other people, university, to draw on our resources and make our love for our lover the thing we do when we are finished with everything else. Married people whose relationships are devoid of love, often search for friendships outside their marriage that “give them life”, and in so doing, often draw other couples apart. Parents who never grow up, keep sucking the life force out of their grown children in order to “get meaning” out of life. And children from a past marriage or the current relationship, who were once disciplined to respect their role in a home, are now the dominant force in a relationship. Things have changed and love is suffering.

If you want a relationship to last, you had better make your relationship the most important thing in your life. Beyond the emotional drama of infatuation, making your relationship the most important thing in your life is a spiritual commitment to love. That love, rather than through the heart of a guru, religion or idol, becomes your lover. Your lover becomes your guru.

If you hold in your mind a fantasy of meeting a partner who will keep the peace, keep your private life calm, and not disturb the life you have created as a single person, then you are really a single person looking for a pleasure puppy. Better you buy a cat or a dog, especially one that doesn’t scratch or bite. But if you are looking for love and sacred relationship, then you better be ready to work for it. The absolute purpose of a sacred relationship is to give you pleasure and pain. Your mission must become to welcome them both with open arms.

There are a lot of people who read the books, do the yoga classes, attend the meditation and become obsessed with peace. Then they are locked out of sacred love, because sacred love is like nature. Nature is always adjusting herself, supporting the forest, destroying the forest. The cycle is always going on like this, over and over and over. So if you meet someone who only wants peace, you can love them, but know they can never find sacred love. They are stuck in the first level.

In my kayak, I go alone into the ocean, because I know how to Eskimo roll. But in Nepal when I am trekking I always take a porter/guide because I don’t know how to climb up out of a snowstorm alone. In business, I have an MBA and lots of experience, so I am not afraid to build business, because I know how to “get through challenges”. In love, I know how to deal with emotions and challenges, so I am not afraid to love.

But if seeking a peaceful life (the sign of a rigid ego that has stopped growing) has become your priority, then you have become your own guru, and this is a disaster. Love needs a mirror in which you do not see what you want to see, but more importantly, you see reality. Reality gets you past your layers of ego. Relationship is the only guru that is honest. To say you are your own guru is like masturbation becoming sex. Instead of improving your intimacy with your lover, it kills it.

About The Author:
Chris Walker is a world leading change agent, an environmentalist and author of more than 20 books. Born and bred in Australia, he consults to people and organisations throughout the world on improved relationships, health and lifestyle through the application of the Universal laws of Nature. The result he offers is that we stay balanced, share loving relationships, work with passion, enjoy success, and live our personal truth. To learn more about Chris’s work and journeys to Nepal, visit http://www.chriswalker.com.au
Article Submitted On: October 25, 2006
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/

How To Keep The Love Alive In Your Relationship

Some believe that romance should just come naturally, and if it doesn’t, or if the original closeness that existed in a relationship starts to subside, it means that something is wrong. Nothing is further from the truth. Keeping love alive requires time, attention and the willingness to keep things fresh and learn how to constantly reconnect. Here are some steps that will help us reconnect with our partners, and keep the love alive.

Step 1: Give up dead routines

After the initial excitement of being together is over, many fall into a routine and begin taking one another for granted. They assume they know what their partner is feeling, that it doesn’t matter if they come late for a date, don’t look as good as they used to, or decide to spend more and more time out with friends. However, it is crucial to realize that there are many small ways in which we sabotage relationships. Unless two people feel cared for and valued by one another, it is easy for the feelings of love to fade away.

Break into routines. Snap out of ruts. Take time to plan exciting, romantic, delicious times to spend together. Even if it’s just for a little while. Dedicate time to the relationship that nothing can interrupt. This is a sacred time for the two of you, and during it do what makes both of you feel most fulfilled.

Step 2: Take Charge of How You Perceive Your Partner Each Day

The good feelings between partners are often heightened by the way in which they view one another. Do you view him as a hero? Someone you can look up to and respect? Or are you mostly dwelling upon his/her faults? After a relationship has gone on for a while it is easy to begin to view one another as ordinary. This is a sure-fire technique for putting out any fire that might exist. Remember, when you first fell in love, you only saw the best about that person and focused on how wonderful they were. If you want to keep the love alive, keep that going consciously.

Here are two exercises to do to help. Get a personal notebook to record your experiences and feelings in. Read it from time to time. Dedicated a certain time each day to the relationship and what is possible between the two of you.

Exercise A – How You See Your Partner

Take some time and write down a description of how you see your partner. Who is he/she to you now? How do you feel about him? Write this down without censoring your thoughts and feelings.

Then, write down how you saw him when you first met, and how you felt about him then. See how your feelings of closeness are affected by the way you are perceiving the person today. Realize that how you perceive a person is totally within your control. You can have the most beautiful person in front of you, but if you do not see it, it is of no avail.

Consciously view your partner in a way that is similar to the way you did in the beginning. They will feel the effects of this, and begin responding in kind.

Exercise B – Stop Pushing Him/Her Away

There are many, little things we do (consciously and unconsciously) that push our partners away. Many are afraid of intimacy and do a great deal to short circuit it. Take a little while to write down ways in which you push him/her away. This is not to blame yourself, but to become aware of the times when you are not actually inviting closeness, but putting on the brakes.

Now, decide to change the way you behave. Each day take one item on your list (the way you’ve pushed him away) and do the opposite. For example, rather than criticizing him in public, say nice things about him with friends. A few small actions can have huge effects.

Step 2: Understanding Hidden Expectations

There is nothing that can cause us to disconnect from each other as much as expectations that have been unfulfilled. We all enter relationships with many kinds of expectations and dreams, some we are aware of, others not. There is nothing that causes more disappointment than our expectations which are not being met.

Take a moment to become aware of what you are expecting of your partner. Is it possible for him to fulfill these expectations Does he want the same thing from the relationship?

More often than not, it is our unfulfilled expectations, not the other person, which make us upset. In order to feel close and satisfied in a relationship, a crucial step is making sure your expectations can be met. See how your expectations align with the person you’re with. Also take time to see if anyone can fulfill them? Are these expectations realistic or simply childhood dreams you are still carrying with you?

Exercise C –- Letting Him Fulfill Your Dreams

Become aware off which expectations of yours your partner does meet. Now see if you are willing to be satisfied with that. Can you find a way to feel grateful for what you are receiving? Sometimes just deciding that what your partner offers is good enough, can allow the love to re-ignite once again.

Then, let him know that he’s making you happy. Most people have a deep need to know and to hear that they are meaningful to you.

Step 6: Re-Choose Your Partner

When these steps are taken, you will not only be more connected, but you will be with your partner because there is no other place you want to be. The relationship will not be one of convenience, but one of choice. The actual act of re-choosing our partners, of knowing they are the one’s we want to be with, is the culmination of the reconnecting and romance we’ve found.

Sometimes it is very beautiful to make this process conscious. You can write down and express the ways in which you wish to recommit to your partner, you can write down and express the aspects of them that cause you to feel this way. By doing this on an on-going basis, we not only keep the love and relationship fresh, but we keep ourselves aware of why we are with the person, what our part is in the relationship, and the joy and romance that is possible for us to have forever.

Cc/author/2005

About the Author:
Discover the surprising truths about love that will save your relationship, by working with the unique program in Dr. Shoshanna’s new e-book Save Your Relationship (21 Basic Laws of Successful Relationships). www.truthaboutlove.com. Dr. Brenda Shoshanna is a psychologist, relationship expert on i.village.com, speaker, and has run over 500 workshops on all aspects of relationships and fulfilling your potential. She is the author of many books, including Zen And The Art of Falling In Love, (Simon and Schuster), Why Men Leave (Putnam), What He Can’t Tell You And Needs To Say, (Putnam) and many others. You can contact her at mailto: mailto:topspeaker@yahoo.com. Her personal website is: www.brendashoshanna.com/
Article Source: http://www.articles2k.com

Finding And Starting A Brand New Relationship

Starting a new relationship is a scary business. There’s no knowing what to expect, or what’s expected of you and we fell our way very carefully until we have the confidence to admit that either the relationship is going nowhere, or we want to keep it running.

What would it be like if you had the benefit of knowing that the person you’re going to meet has already been matched with you? The fact that they share the same interests, have the same level of education, or wants the same things out of life as you do automatically makes it easier to get to know them.

That’s the sort of benefits you get when you choose to use the services of an introduction agency. Whether you’re looking for a partner who lives in the same town as you, or you want to find someone from a completely different culture and lifestyle, a good introduction agency can help. Not only can they narrow your choices to the people who match your requirements, but they provide help and support along the way to ensure that you have the confidence you need to start your relationship.

There’s no need for awkward moments in late-night bars, or telephone calls that you have spent hours worrying about – everything is taken care of for you, from the initial face-to-face introduction to helping you keep in touch when you’re apart. What’s more, if you’ve started a relationship with someone from overseas through an introduction agency, they can help you arrange to bring them over to your own country to meet your family, visit your home or live permanently.

Take control of your relationships now by getting in touch with an introduction agency. A good agency can provide a first class service that takes all the hassle out of finding a new partner.

About The Author:
The Thai Connection is an established introduction agency that brings together British men and Thai ladies. To register or find out more, click on mail order Thai brides to visit our website.
Article Source: NewFREEArticles.com

Quiz- Is Your Relationship Collapsing?

I never expected that I would one day hate the person I loved so much. We were very happy. I do not know what happened, but suddenly our relationship collapsed. This is heart breaking. I do not know what to do, or think? I am going numb with stress. You will hear some such talk from people who have a collapsing relationship. Could they not guess that the end was near? Like a building, a relationship does not crash suddenly. It weakens over time. Periodic check up can stop this. Let us quiz on how to find out.

Quiz your past-

Go back to your earlier days of togetherness. Go back to the time of courtship. Quiz the time when you were always looking forward to meet your partner. Relive those emotions and feelings. Quiz- is that same today? If yes, that is very good. If a change has occurred, is it for better or worse? If worse, list out all the changes you are noticing. Small bricks crumble slowly and bring a house down. Therefore try and note the smallest change in every area of relationship. List out all the changes. Now start rebuilding. Try to make one improvement daily , nothing more. Slowly the relationship will change for the better. It may or may not regain the early frenzy, but it will not collapse.

Related link :- Relationship Quizzes

Are you a myspace user? Please click for- Myspace comments, backgrounds, layouts and comment generators.

About The Author:
The author, C.D.Mohatta writes fun quizzes. The author writes for free greetings on holidays, birthday, love and all events and occasions. He also writes for desktop wallpapers on topics like nature, spirituality, motivation, love, holidays, etc.
Submitted: 2006-10-23
Article Source: GoArticles

Relationship Tests Galore! How Good Are They? Which One Is For Me?

Just about every match making site and relationship ezine offers relationship or personality tests of some kind.

Are they any good?

What do they really measure?

Which one is right for me?

As with most queries I went to the web for answers, but to my surprise even my favorite article sites came up empty. No articles about the value or benefits of the myriad of tests. So I reached back to my former life as a psychotherapist and dusted off my mental assessment file.

First let’s differentiate between personality tests [or assessments as they are more technically known] and the common on-line relationship tests. The former are at times associated with clinical assessments used for diagnostic purposes that is assisting professionals in the treatment of mental or behavioral problems. Where as the more common Myers-Briggs, Enneagram and DISC tests are used primarily for personal understanding and to improve communication between people. These assessments have wide spread use and when applied well can have significant impact on how people work together in both personal and work relationships. However, these tend to be pricey, long and stiff.

Then there are the relationship tests of today that have answers for most everything by associating your family dog with your choice of mate and your favorite desert with your social behavior, and so on. How accurate are they? I don’t know, but the value of them as I see it is this.

Imagine for a moment you and your partner arrive in a foreign country. Neither of you speak the language, a loaf of bread costs 35 pesos [you have no idea how that translates into your currency] and the public toilet is the wall, any wall. Getting from the airport to your hotel is a major adventure and takes 2 hours in a tiny open-air three-wheeled vehicle. The point is you are out of your comfort zone you cannot communicate and even the simplest task becomes daunting.

We spend much of our time in relationships as if we were in a foreign country, groping around not communicating well and getting hopelessly lost at times. Relationship tests, at least the good ones, can provide that common language, that ability to communicate and get along in the environment.

Let me explain by using a really humorous example:

We used [back in the day of paper and pencil tests] what we call Awareness Tools to help people in relationship understand themselves and each other better. Here is the story: Chris a financial advisor who heads up a rather impressive team of staff was asked by his manager to have his whole team profiled. That is, each was to take our Awareness Tools with the goal being increased productivity because of improved communication. Anyway, Chris did this grudgingly writing “this is a bunch of ….” on his ‘test booklet.’ Later during our consultation to discuss the results with his team Jon, the very astute sales assistant laughingly says, “This profile is right on, I saw you bust that pencil.” Yup, Chris had been accurately pegged as quite the hot head and his whole team knew it. The good thing is Chris realized they knew it and this freed him and them up to face reality and use their newly discovered ‘language’ afforded them by the Awareness Tools to really communicate with each other.

That was in days gone by now everything is done on-line [our tools included] and results are instantaneous so none of us has an excuse. No, none of us has an excuse not to find that ‘common language’ via one or many relationship tests.

Wendy and Chris [same name, different fella] during the early stages of their life together took a relationship test to help them understand their hopes and dreams and the core values that drove them. It was an eye-opening experience as they became aware of their differences, but more importantly finding commonalities in their before unspoken dreams. The result: clear direction, life purpose and probably even more valuable than that ~ dogged determination to succeed.

So the next time you get an invitation to take a test in your inbox or you find one on a website, be daring, take it and get your partner to take it and watch what happens.

Remember, life is short and relationships should be FUN!

About the Author:
Margrit Harris, Your Relationship Expert, is a former Team Relationship Consultant for First Union Securities [now Wachovia], Morgan Stanley, small business owners and professionals. Today she offers free relationship advice and her Relationship Tests [Awareness Tools] at www.stratateam.com/WhyitWorks.asp.
Article Source: www.iSnare.com

Your Ex Girlfriend\'s Qualities - a Possible Threat to your Present Relationship?

You are out from a long time relationship; no matter if she left you or you have left her. You are free now to do what you want and to meet who you want, when you want.

After a while you feel that you are ready to get in a new relationship. You even have met a nice girl who looks like she is interested in you. Slowly, things are getting more serious and you get to know better your new partner.

But something is bothering you, and you don't know what it is. Than you realize that she is not doing things like you were used to be done, she is not doing things like your ex used to make them (it's not about all things, but those you loved at your ex).

Last days I have met a friend of mine I haven't seen for a long time. It was a surprise for me when a nice girl comes to us, and he has introduced her like his girlfriend. I didn't know that he has broken up with his ex, which is a very sexy, feminine woman.

After, his new girlfriend left, I asked my friend what happened with his ex and how things are going in his new relationship. He told me that he's in this new relationship for over 7 months, his girlfriend is a nice woman and he has nothing to blame her.

But, something is missing. He was used to be with a very feminine woman, which enjoyed her woman qualities all the time. He confessed me that it is very difficult for him to get used to live without some things which he has experimented before and he knows that does exist.

He also told me something that made me smile: "If I could take my ex qualities and put them next to my new partner's qualities I would make the perfect women for me." :)

But how good it could be if we would be able to make the perfect woman? Not so good as we all think, believe me. I say it all the time, perfection is boring.

However, a person after a breakup has to think mostly to the reasons for the breakup with his ex and not to her qualities. I am sure that you have very good reasons to break up with a person which who you have spend years together.

Relief you from your past relationship and let your new girlfriend make you happy in her own way. Learn to enjoy your girl's qualities and personality and don't make your ex girlfriend's qualities a problem for your present or future relationships.

About The Author:
Ovi Dogar
If you haven't got yet in a new relationship, just take a look! Many interesting women are looking for love at www.eBridex.com
Posted: 10-10-2006
Article Source: ArticlesBase.com

Relationship: No Debates

No debates please! The secret of a happy relationship is to keep away from debates. Don’t argue over subjects that have proven differences of opinion among you and your partner Avoid unnecessary arguments.

It is good to argue provided you take the positive aspect of it. Learn to except you partners point of view. Do not stick to your point for the sake of ego. If you are wrong then except it. If you are not able to handle the conversation stop it right there. There is no point going on arguing over a subject you are not going to agree upon.

Respect the opinion of your partner. All of us have different views about a number of things. We can be adamant on our point of view but at the same time we should respect the other person’s views. It may be helpful to calmly discuss the differences each one of you have. You never know the reason that is making him/her put forward those views. All of us think from different angles and that is one reason to respect the different view of the partner. You have to learn to respect the difference in opinion and choice of your partners.

If you strongly are against the views of your partner remember never to ridicule him/her. If possible stop the debate then and there. Avoid talking on subjects you know you are never going to agree upon say upon topics like religion, politics etc. Talk about things you enjoy and have in common.

Love each other completely, unconditionally! Love each for the difference in you. So never debate, either accept his opinion or leave the topic.

Two is better than one. If two ideas come together it could lead to third new idea which is better than the previous two. So why have debates? Rather listen to each other with care and thoughtfulness instead of debating unnecessarily.

If you want your partner to be happy, never converse on topics that are a cause of tension between the two of you. Always talk about less stressful things.

About The Author:
Julia Jones
Find more information visit: Relationship: No Debates
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Article Submitted On: October 30, 2006
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/

Relationships Between Women

Love relationships between women and men are difficult, complex, and sometimes overwhelming, and authors, experts, and friends are always willing to offer advice on how to overcome them. In a welcome and overdue twist on the old theme, many authors have decided over the years to explore the intense nature of friendships between women, so widely experienced yet traditionally downplayed.

Experts suggest that women's friendships are rooted in the bonds between a mother and a daughter. Subconsciously competing for the love of the same man, husband and father, the relationship of future women friends is directly related to the experience a woman had while growing up. With this backdrop of keen identification, a woman can often "feel" the very pain or joy that her friend may be experiencing. But along with this astonishing intimacy, however, come the usual strains of mutual dependency between mother and daughter. As numerous examples illustrate, a woman may be scarred for life and never forget the devastation she might feel in case she gets betrayed or abandoned by another woman. As many women can regretfully attest, these negative and stressful feelings are generally associated with the pain of ending a love relationship with a man due to a friend's act.

Most frequent than in men's friendships, feelings of jealousy, competition, anger and guilt inevitably arise in women's friendships, due to the threat they feel in balancing a relationship with another woman and yet maintain a healthy, open and intimate relationship with a man. Moreover, these competitive feelings might arise when one friend gets a new job while another does not succeed the same, if one falls in love and the other feels extremely lonely at that time, in case one wants to have a child and has yet to stand painfully by her friend's pregnancy. Psychotherapists advocate that women friends openly acknowledge the negative feelings between them in the belief that differences, if are successfully sorted out, can lead to a much fuller friendship.

If you are interested in exploring this provocative subject and you feel secure enough to discuss it with your female friend, try opening up some of the hidden and more difficult aspects of your friendship and you will probably be amazed with the things you will discover for the other person's inner feelings apart from your own thoughts. In fact, such matters are daily the main subject of discussion between many women friends who want to explore them further, with the help of their good female friend.

About The Author:
Kadence Buchanan writes articles on many topics including Women, Beauty, and Women's Health.
Article Source: NewFREEArticles.com

Personality Type: A Powerful Tool for Improving Your Relationship

Do you know the number one factor couples cite as crucial to their satisfaction with their relationship?

That’s right, it’s good communication. There are so many issues couples can disagree about—money, children, in-laws, work—but whether or not these issues become problems depends on how well you can communicate.

If you have serious communication issues, you may need couples counseling. But if your relationship works most of the time, but you occasionally find yourself at a dead end when talking to your partner—or if you sometimes just find yourself saying, “What can he be thinking?!”—then improving your understanding of each other is the key to making your relationship even better.

We often marry people who are very different from ourselves, and this can be the perfect choice. If we find a partner who excels in the areas where we’re weak, that can make for a great team. Problems can arise, however, when it comes to understanding each other’s thinking. Here’s an example:

David and Julie have been married for five years. Most of the time, their marriage works. David tends to be the forward-thinking partner; he’s always looking at some new investment for the couple or dreaming up a home improvement project. Julie prefers to take care of the details. She’s the one to pay the bills on time and make sure that the couple is prepared to take on all those projects that David dreams up. They make a good team, but sometimes Julie gets annoyed with David having his “head in the clouds” all the time. David, on the other hand, feels like sometimes Julie is just too involved with mundane details, and can’t see the “big picture.”

How can we explain this couple’s differences? There is a simple answer: personality type. Julie is a more concrete type; David is more abstract. According to the system of Myers-Briggs Personality Type, which is one of the most well-known and widely used personality theories in the world, Julie is a Sensor, while David is an Intuitive. Julie trusts what she can see; David trusts ideas. This is only one aspect of personality, however. There are four scales in total.

• Extroverted/Introverted—Do you get your energy from being around other people, or from being alone?

• Sensing/Intuitive—Do you see what’s real, or what’s possible?

• Thinking/Feeling—Do you make decisions based on logic, or feelings and values?

• Judging/Perceiving—Do you like to plan and schedule, or keep your options open?

The four scales are combined to make sixteen total personality types. Each person’s Type is described using a four-letter abbreviation; ISTJ, for example, or ENFP. The most common combinations for couples are a match for 2 out of the four scales; for instance, an ESTJ might be married to an ESFP. This means that most couples have a significant common ground in the way they think and make decisions. It also means that most couples have significant differences.

To find out your personality type, and that of your partner, the most accurate way is for you both to take the official Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. This is an approximately 45-minute test that has been extensively researched and validated. Your results will tell you your four-letter type and those of your partner, and allow you to compare your similarities and differences. Recently the MBTI has become available in an online format which provides same-day results—so you and your partner can make a weekend project of studying your personality types.

Once you have figured out your Type and your partner’s, you’re ready to take a look at how they interact. Here’s a look at how differences can play out in a relationship:

• Introverted partner with Extroverted partner: Often, an Extrovert can draw out an Introvert and introduce them to social events they wouldn’t normally gravitate to. Similarly, an Introvert can help an Extrovert become more focused and self-reliant. Friction arises when an Extrovert wants more social interaction than their Introvert partner. The Extrovert may need to learn to be okay with attending gatherings alone.

• Sensing with Intuitive: As we saw in the example of David and Julie, this couple has fundamental differences in the way they think and place importance on different aspects of life. It’s important to focus here on the way these two qualities complement each other in a relationship; both aspects of this scale are needed for an effective team.

• Thinking with Feeling: This is the only scale with a gender difference—which means that women are more likely to be Feeling types while men are more likely to be Thinking. Having a balance on this scale can work well if each partner remembers that the other has something important to contribute. In every decision made together, both the logic of the situation and the values and feelings of all involved should be considered. Each partner should keep in mind that no decision should be made with only the head, or only the heart.

• Judging with Perceiving: This difference most often shows itself in a simple exclamation: “Why is he (or she) always late!?” A Judging partner will sometimes see a Perceiving partner as flighty or unreliable; while the Perceiver may get frustrated that the Judger can’t seem to be spontaneous. Again, the value comes in appreciating the difference. A more spontaneous partner can help a Judger to remember that not everything has to be planned and decided in advance, and a Perceiver can use a reminder that sometimes things do just go more smoothly when there is a plan or schedule.

If you’re coupled with someone who has a different personality type than you do, remember, most successful couples do have significant differences. In fact, ten percent of couples have none of the scales in common. The key lies in understanding your differences, and remembering that your partner’s different viewpoint is an important contribution to your success as a couple.

About the Author:
Molly Owens holds a B.A. and an M.A. in Psychology. She has a background in counseling, education, and the corporate workplace, and a passion for helping people discover their personality type and how it can help them succeed in relationships. For more information on Myers-Briggs Personality Type, or to take the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, visit www.PersonalityDesk.com.
Article Source: http://www.articles2k.com

Your Man And Your Relationship As Your Highest Priority

My strongest advice for you after your marriage is to keep the quality of your love relationship with your husband as your highest priority. Very importantly, share this article with your Good Man well before your marriage. Encourage him to make the same commitment to you. As a couple, promise to remain conscious of the quality of your relationship as the most important thing to you, individually and together.

It is too easy to allow the quality of your marriage to slip to a lower priority. Careers, friends, in-laws, children, and hobbies will all tug at your kimono sleeve to demand your time and attention. This is life. It is full of things other than your relationship that can command your focus. As an American Geisha, you have a more difficult undertaking than does the Asian Geisha, who can keep her clients as her highest priority because she does not marry or plan a family. You marry and want a family, yet you probably also have a job or even an engaging career that pulls your attention away from your relationship with your Good Man husband. Fight successfully to maintain an active love life. Stay beautiful and feminine. Always be nice to each other.

Even your children should be a second priority. They should come some distance behind your priority of maintaining a deep, mutual love relationship with your Good Man. Remember, as a psychologist once said, "The very best thing mothers or fathers can do for their children is to be actively, enthusiastically, and mutually in love with their spouses."

Another part of keeping your marriage as your highest priority is to celebrate your anniversary. Make it a memorable day of renewal of your love and commitment to one another. Perhaps return to your honeymoon spot. Review your original wedding vows. Write new, updated vows. Stay excited about your mutual love.

About The Author:
Py Kim Conant, the author of Sex Secrets of an American Geisha: How to Attract, Satisfy, and Keep Your Man, Hunter House Publishers. Looking for relationship, dating and sex tips? Visit Py's website at http://www.AmericanGeishaHouse.com
Submitted: 2006-10-20
Article Source: GoArticles

Put The Sizzle Back Into Your Relationship With These Five Simple Steps

Has the passion gone out of your relationship? Is it bordering on being boring and mundane?

It need not be. Heck it should not be.

Unfortunately modern life can and does take its toll on our love life.

Relationships need to be injected with new energy, just as anything else worthwhile in your life. This does not have to be difficult or complicated. A few simple tactics, can and will make all the difference.

The problem is, most people either have no clue what these tactics are, or worse still, that they can actually do anything about the state of their relationship.

You need to be aware that like anything in life, the success of your relationship depends primarily on two things.

1. The information and knowledge that you focus on.
2. The associations with others surrounding you.

The first one is best managed by having an overall positive outlook on your relationship, your partners qualities and your life in general. Try to find the best, see the good, decide to do things for the good of the relationship, not you as an individual at all times.

This alone will make a huge difference to the overall vibe of your relationship.
With any action you take, always ask yourself, is this the best for the relationship?
Not am I right, is he wrong. But, is this the best for US?

The second situation is sometimes a little more tricky due to your family being who they are. Oftentimes, our families are not the most nurturing of people for the health of your relationship. If this is the case, you need to limit contact to those people to the absolute minimum, and if possible, see them only at family functions, were they are unable to corner you and overwhelm you. Always stand as a couple towards them.

Your friends should be chosen to nurture and grow you as a couple. Surrounding yourself with people that have similar values and interests to yourself is very worthwhile. Here the group synergy comes into play. All of you together striving in the same direction is great for the relationship.

So be aware of these external issues, to help grow your relationship.

Once you have the basics in place, it will be so much easier to work on the details of the relationship like passion.
You see, real passion can only exist in a real relationship.

Five simple things you can do to stoke up the passion fires:

1. Get a babysitter: Simple, but effective. Organize a babysitter and allow yourself and your partner some one on one time. The key here is to do it. Don't try to delegate the organizing a babysitter to your partner. Just do it yourself, you taking control to be with your partner is part of the passion raising stakes.
2. When you whisper sweet nothings in your partners ears, make them sweet somethings. In other words, do not just say you love them, but specify what you love about them. Find details and specifics, that make them special.
3. When you go out, even for a casual meal, dress to impress. Make them feel as special as if you were just starting to date. Let them know they are still the one.
4. Break the routine. Instead of her cooking and you taking out the trash, you cook and take out the trash some nights. Run a hot bath for them add some bath oil, light a candle, put on some music, and let them soak and enjoy it. Get him a beer and put the TV on the game, and then let him watch it.
5. Have fun. This is maybe the most important thing to watch out for. Make your experiences together fun. Enjoy each others company. Do things that make you laugh together. Do these as often as possible, make fun a priority.

These simple things can make a huge difference,. Just try one or two, it really is not hard and is enjoyable.

About The Author:
Udo Vieth
For tips and sources of the best dating information I have found, visit my blog at Relationship Secrets
Posted: 28-10-2006
Article Source: ArticlesBase.com

Getting The Most From A Romantic Relationship

You can make your relationship better. A few basic guidelines will make your relationship more enjoyable and more beneficial for both of you.

A romantic relationship has important benefits: companionship, being inspired by someone else's example, and stimulation by the other person's ideas. Keep in mind that those benefits are there and that they are important.

Don't use a relationship as a way to solve your problems. Dating and marriage are not ways to overcome unhappiness, escape from boredom, and improve self-image. You must do those things for yourself. Using a relationship for those reasons puts burdens on the relationship that make it less pleasant and less rewarding.

Your gotta be tolerant. A relationship is a place for honesty and openness. Those principles allow a couple to share ideas and to gradually change in ways that let them more enjoy living. Your attitude should signal the other person that you will try to patiently work through each other's shortcomings. If that's too much strain, decide that separation is best and graciouly part company without bitterness.

Romance and love will more likely happen if you allow them to happen instead of making them a goal. Making the relationship better should be the goal. Pay attention to treating each other fairly and helping each other. If love happens, it will be based on believing that both of you can continue to build a good relationship.

Don't expect a perfect relationship. That happens only in fairy tales. If you expect too much, it makes your relationship less valuable by comparison. Problems will occur. You will get hurt. Don't be so concerned with minor problems that you loose awareness of what is good in the relationship. When appropriate, offer advice not the threat of disapproval. You want to develop a spirit of mutual benefit.

Respect each other's attitude about physical affection. Be patient. Your partner is not a mind reader and may not be aware of the problem. If something about the physical part of the relationship is a big issue for you, let your concerns be known. Being aware of a problem is the first step in solving a problem. Anxiety about a problem can be lessened just by knowing that the other person is aware of the problem.

Take time for mutual interests. This can be in many forms including hobbies, conversation, recreation, an interest in art, and family activities. Mutual interests keep a couple from gradually becoming uninvolved in each other's lives.

Encourage your partner to act and make decisions. Both of you will be able to accomplish more with the other's support and encouragement. When there is a disagreement, don't automatically think it is necessary to correct the other person. Your encouragement will produce more good results than will your objections.

About the Author:
Alan Detwiler is the author of the ebook Date Ideas: Fun Things To Do For Couples available at Amazon.com. He has a web site with a section about fun things to do for couples at Date Ideas.
Article Source: www.iSnare.com

Tips For A Happy Relationship

There's no denying that maintaining a relationship is a lot of work. Almost fifty percent of all marriages end in divorce, and many wonder how people can maintain their relationships over their entire lives. To that end, we've created this article to help showcase some tips that can help you to get through the rough spots in your relationship and keep you happy throughout the duration of your courting.

- It's important to keep a light mood in a relationship. While trust and maturity are important to a relationship, it's important to be lighthearted. Relationships are supposed to make us happy; many of us often forget this simple fact and end up getting nothing but grief and stress. Be sure that you can joke with your partner, and that they can poke fun at you.

- Try your best not to focus on your differences. If the two of you are in disagreement on a topic, discuss it once and then try to avoid the issue if you're still in conflict. The more differentiation between the two individuals in a relationship, the more problems generally arise. For that reason, it's important to keep conflicts to a minimum.

- Keep things interesting. While routines can be simple to follow, it's important to think outside of the box in your relationship to keep an aspect of excitement present. Take a spontaneous trip, or pick up a new hobby with your loved one to help add a little touch of excitement to the relationship. It often works wonders in helping couples that have been going through the same motions for years and years.

- Be sure to forgive each other when problems arise. The more that you let a problem stew inside of you, the more likely you are to blow up when the issue comes up in conversation. That's not fair for your partner, so discuss things as they need to be discussed, and then leave the issues in the past unless a future experience merits further discussion of it.

- If living together, or seeing each other altogether too often, it's important to get some time away from your loved one. Being apart for a little while shows you that the things that you may take for granted in your relationship may be more important than you realize. Being able to lead your own lives is important in a relationship, and it is not a factor that should be brushed to the side.

About The Author:
Jonathon Hardcastle writes articles on many topics including Relationships, Health, and Arts
Article Source: NewFREEArticles.com

CRM 101 - The Basics of Customer Relationship Management

What is CRM? CRM, or Customer Relationship Management, can be defined as a software program, business strategy, or internet system that helps a business manage and organize its customer database. This includes contacting customers more efficiently, keeping leads hot, aiding in workplace effectiveness, and generally improving customer service and business relationships.

How Does CRM work? Essentially, CRM works by allowing a representative or agent to access detailed customer information quickly and efficiently while the client is on the line. This means less hassle for the client and a quicker transaction.

For example, say a client contacts a company representative about possibly purchasing the company's product. With CRM, the representative would be able to see if the client had bought anything previously, and if so, what their name is, their age, how long they've used the company, what products they've bought before, how often they buy the product, and much more. This would then allow the representative to suggest and recommend the product or service option that best suits the customer in a timely manner.

Who does CRM benefit? The beauty of CRM is that is benefits both the customer and the business or service provider. Customers receive a higher level of customer service because their needs are met and anticipated, allowing them to relax through transactions that are often much quicker than they're used to.

The business benefits via improved sales, higher customer confidence and satisfaction, and a more effective work environment. With CRM, a small business or large corporations can know what its customer wants; thus it can provide the service or product the client wants, keeping them as a repeat customer and gaining greater sales volumes.

What are some CRM applications? CRM applications are created around the same idea as a spreadsheet, where values can be filled in and tabulated to quantify, analyze, and interpret data. A CRM application can both collect and analyze information simultaneously. This means faster, better applications and better ease of use. Clients can download, share or install these programs at their leisure via sites like Salesforce.com.

What is online CRM? Online CRM is where a business uses an online system to manage its CRM. Straightforward and easy, online CRM is an option often taken by smaller businesses as it allows any representative to access a client's information immediately, without hours of tedious training. A example of an online CRM system might be a 24-hour call center.

What is web based CRM? Web based CRM is where a business uses real-time updates that are integrated with their existing CRM system. This allows new information to be accessed immediately without any time lapse. It is different from a software-based Customer Relationship Management program in that it allows for live, as-it-happens updates. Thus customer information is always fresh and current.

How do CRM systems help businesses? CRM systems help businesses by improving customer service and relationships, generating quality leads, monitoring accounts more effectively, always keeping data fresh and ready so leads don't grow cold, allowing mobile CRM (orders through a mobile device), and managing sales.

Salesforce.com is the world's first on-demand application service and a giant in the field of CRM. With over 24,000 customers, over 500,000 subscribers, and a 97% customer satisfaction rate, Salesforce.com continues to lead their field. To find out more about them, please visit www.salesforce.com .

About The Author:
Kausik Dutta
seo experts
Submitted: 2006-10-23
Article Source: GoArticles

Dating, Marriage, Love, and Relationship Advice: The Dance of Commitment and Your Secret Passion Signature!

If you are single, dating, or trying to get to “I DO” and spend too much time hurting and not enough time loving this may be the most important love relationship advice you could ever receive. Did you know that some people just don't let themselves have love? Some are eaten alive with the “fear of commitment.” Some can’t let themselves take the risk or feel vulnerable so they string you along in a dating relationship. Some people don't love themselves enough to value you if you love them. Here's how to spot the signs of a hopeless case, using little known relationship tips.

The truth is that unless a soul is willing to be involved with you, there is no hope whatsoever for a love relationship. No set of skills you learn from any book, seminar, or TV program can create a breakthrough when the other does not choose it. Of course, this can be terribly frustrating for you if you are dating or married and a willing partner. It's painful, a lot like hitting your head against the wall. Nonetheless, all too often we do not listen when we are told no, because we believe there must be something more we can do to fix the situation so that our desires prevail. Each of us wants what we want when we want it, especially when it comes to love relationship, so we tend to ignore the inevitable and keep on trying. I've done this myself. I may be a therapist, but I am a woman first and I learned these lessons through painful firsthand experience.

In a dating relationship, a man who says, "This relationship doesn't fit into my 20-year projection," or a woman who tells you, "I leave everybody with whom I get involved," is telling you that he or she is not available. And that's the truth. Most likely this person has chosen this dating relationship with its current limitations because it didn't have long-term potential in his or her mind. It doesn't matter how great the sex is, how attractively you dress, or how well you get along, the day will come when you will hit a nasty wall of resistance. You may even hit the wall right after you attain an amazing state of ecstatic union. Then, out of the blue, everything will come to a screeching halt. When suddenly your love interest informs you, "It's over," it's super important to listen to what is being said to you and heed the message. Otherwise you are in for deeper disappointment.

Ironically dating that leads to a true love relationship is terrifying to the hidden part of us that's responsible for our safety and survival. If we love deeply and surrender to love, fear naturally arises. Opening up to another being tends to bring up old wounds from the past, especially childhood. The survival system can be stronger than the human heart. Its only interest is in protecting us from getting hurt by anyone or anything. For some of us, the possibility of establishing a profound connection poses perhaps the biggest threat. The fear of commitment often masks a deeper issue. You may feel "not good enough," "engulfed," "not perfect," and so on. The fire of passion is literally too hot for many people to handle, so they run away. Without making the soul choice to hang in there and face the fire, our desired connections don't stand a chance.

There are love relationship tips you can use to let you know that you have snagged someone afraid of connection. See if these sound familiar:

1. After the sexual excitement has died down a bit your lover becomes elusive.

2. Your love interest starts avoiding opportunities to get together, and when you mention it you are called a "complainer."

3. Any mention on your part of moving into more commitment is met with evasion, "Do what you need to do for yourself. Don't worry about me."

4. Your partner develops a roving eye. Sitting at a dinner table you see your beloved watching everyone that passes.

5. The sexual interest dies between you. You express a desire for more affection and are told that you are "too pushy."

It doesn't matter what techniques you use in a love relationship. Unless there is an awakening of consciousness and a desire to increase the level of intimacy, there cannot be a breakthrough. In my therapeutic practice I have watched women spend ten years with men who were terrified of being abandoned but were also terrified of commitment. When push comes to shove this type of man chooses his freedom over the woman. He is often too concerned with what he could miss out on later to commit to today.

In my book, The Passion Principle: Discover Your Personal Passion Signature and the Secrets to Deeper Relationships in Love, Life and Work, I identify 5 signature styles of relating. Each has a healthy balanced, loving aspect, which makes for great relationships and a wounded side, which shows up as the inability to love or commit for one reason or another. They are the Warrior/Conqueror, Lover/Vamp, Creator/Martyr, Prophet/Perfectionist, and Visionary/Perfectionist. To create a breakthrough in receiving the love you want or commit to the love you have, you must step into the balanced healthy aspect of your signature.

In romantic relationships the Warrior is committed, sexy and loyal. The Conqueror works so many hours s/he is not available for commitment. The Lover is wonderful with commitment and intimacy. The Vamp can be desperately needy and make you want to run from commitment. The Creator is fantastic at commitment. The Martyr feels trapped in intimate relationships and runs at the first sign of commitment. The Prophet is a blissfully connected lover. The Escapist is a Houdini who will run from you at the first sign of commitment. The Visionary is positive, high energy and a great mate. The Perfectionist is disappointed by anyone who turns up in the flesh because they are searching for the perfect mate.

The wounded aspects of the “passion signatures” can get in the way of deepening intimacy and cause you to waste precious time. I have seen men and women spend 30 years trying to find Mr. or Ms. Right, and no one was ever good enough. If this type is your partner, you won't be good enough either.

You can beg a workaholic Conqueror to come home and put your relationship first for decades, only to bury this type of mate before the request is honored. You can also consume five years trying to get a Martyr to join you in a grounded, forward-moving relationship to no avail, and forfeit just as many years of effort trying to establish a significant relationship with a Vamp who is only attracted to the unavailable. Relationships can be used as vessels for growth and healing, but only between willing partners.

A 45-year-old Martyr grew up under the domination of an angry, controlling mother. As an adult, he continued waging battle against his mother by never committing to one woman. In a series of monogamous relationships, he provoked a long stream of women to become hostile and demanding, just like his mother, until the day came when each one could not stand any more and left him in disgust. What he didn't realize was that his past was ruling his life and that love would elude him forever unless he dealt with his wounds. His latest girlfriend, a woman who wanted to understand her patterns, brought him to my office. She asked me to help her decide whether or not to stay in it, or break it off.

The man was the eternal "nice guy" who would do anything for his woman, except commit. Each of his previous girlfriends only knew this side of him, because he was a chameleon. His defiance of her was never put in her face. It was subtle, insidious, behind-the-back stuff, nothing she could put her finger on. He seemed to be there, in the dating relationship, except he wasn't really there. He told his new love interest that he was keeping his connections with the other women because he didn't like to hurt people. He insisted that he wasn't stringing anyone along . . . it was just that he had never found the one woman to whom he could commit. His fears were sabotaging the relationship.

My client who was the wounded Lover/Vamp had been replaying a traumatic childhood scene of her own with the boyfriend. In relationship with him, she basically was trying to get her abandoning father not to leave. Her dad had walked out on her family when she was a small child, never to be seen again. Both she and her boyfriend were full-grown adults, yet when it came to love they were hopelessly locked in a painful cycle of tug of war. She was sabotaging her happiness by trying to persuade an unavailable man to love her.

Remember: There are no bad guys here. Sometimes we're ready for things and sometimes we are not. A sign that you are personally unready is that you continue dating people who are also not available when you check below the surface. Or if they are available, you "make" them not good enough, or tell yourself, "Not now." If you are on the receiving end of a message of reluctance, hang in there for a little while in case your love interest becomes more comfortable. Seek help in processing your feelings if you must. But if you find your self-esteem draining from you while you wait, or you feel less and less valued by your mate, it is time to "cut bait" (break up), toss "the fish" (your partner) back into the sea, and walk away.

There are more easy-to-apply love relationship tips and tools you can use to create commitment in what looks like hopeless cases. In my book, The Passion Principle: Discover Your Passion Signature and the Secrets to Deeper Relationships in Love, Life and Work, you will find lots more to help you have the love relationship you deserve.

Here's one final thought. If you are in a loving relationship, it is vital that managing the relationship and growing in the relationship become your two highest priorities. You must be honest and diligent, take responsibility for your own energy, feelings, thoughts, and defenses, and try to understand your impact on your partner. This last item matters most when things are going wrong or you want to deepen your connection. These are keys to unleashing romantic passion.

Excerpt from The Passion Principle, Copyright Donna LeBlanc 2006

About the Author:
Donna LeBlanc, M.Ed., is a New York City based psychotherapist and author of THE PASSION PRINCIPLE: Discover Your Personal Passion Signature and the Secrets to Deeper Relationships in Love, Life and Work. Contact her at www.donnaleblanc.com or 1-877-63donna for in-person and telephone coaching sessions and seminars all over the country and abroad. TV appearances: INSIDE EDITION, MONTEL, DONNY DEUTSCH.
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Ways to Build Strong, Happy Lasting Relationship

Are you unhappy with your relationship? Is your romantic life on a verge of a break off! What most of us are going to answer is YES! In today’s world it is really difficult to keep a happy long lasting relationship. Marriage or dating whatever you are into, you find it difficult to keep the relation happy and long lasting. The life today is over stressed both men and women career oriented, they give 100% to their work. But it is not only the job where you have to give your 100% a relationship too needs that cent percent.

Every relationship undergoes its own phases of good and bad times. No relationship is perfect No relationship stays without a laugh, a hug, an argument, a misunderstanding, a cry. Initially all the relationship move smoothly but with the passage of time many relationships lose the charm and romance of their relationship. There is argument, conflict and bitterness resulting in separation.

During good times you take things for granted and forget to make efforts to keep the relationship intact. A relationship demands hard work. You have to work towards your relationship to make it happy and long lasting. Little steps taken in daily life make your relationship sweeter. When bad times are in there is all bitterness in your relation. The more you try to get stability in your relation the more it seems to deteriorate. You land up messing your relationship. You never know how things went wrong. All of a sudden there is a sense of coldness between you and your partner. At times we take a relationship for granted and ignore what our partner wants from us. And then there are times when we want to keep up a relationship but are unable to do so. Both the partners should know what they need from each other as well as what they expect from each other.

When you know what you want and expect from each other you have a way out to keep a healthy relationship. Remember a time when your relation went sour as you were not able to understand him/her or when in spite of loving your partner you landed in a break off. In a relationship there are times when you are really hurt, abused and angry and are on the verge of a separation, it is then you look for someone to give you advice. There are a number of ways to keep your relationship happy and long lasting such as understanding each others need, communicating openly what is within, showing honesty and loyalty. What you really

About The Author:
Julia Jones
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Article Submitted On: October 30, 2006
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