Improve Your Relationship Make 2007 "The Year of Deeper Love" - Follow Five Simple Steps

1. Be Still

Life in the city has become strangely cut off from nature. So we must learn, or relearn, the practice and mastery of inner stillness, to become available for love. Stillness is an essential asset for any great relationship because it leads to the spontaneous act of falling in love, again and again. The key is to learn how to do nothing again. To sit under a beautiful tree, to watch the movement of water, to listen to the rain on an old tin roof. In these moments, with the phone turned off, and nothing to do, you and your lover can fall in love, over and over again, daily.

2. Romance

Love is cumulative. Little acts of forgetfulness add up to big problems of painfulness. Don’t wait for Christmas, Valentines day, Birthdays, or special occasions. Make every day of your life a Valentines day. Act like today is the most important day of your relationship. Turn up on time. Do something kind. Prioritize your lover over your work. All compromises in relationship add to it’s demise. Never forget, your relationship is the most important thing in the universe. Place it, not statues on your alter.

3. Hard Work is bad Management

Nature is incompetent sometimes. A tsunami reveals that small steps were not taken, and therefore a big adjustment is due. In your life, stay humble, stay incompetent, witness the fact that hard work is bad management. Stress reveals bad management. These are opportunities to systematize, rationalize or prioritize. Don’t back away from work load, grow your competence. Ask daily “how can I take on more, and do it with less” This is called turning up for love. Come home with more energy than you left for work with in the morning. That’s the measure of your investment in love.

4. Dream Matching

Teams do not function on common values. Teams are a bunch of great individuals, with individual hopes and ambitions, linking together to help each other achieve those outcomes. Relationships are bonded by dreams. Take time to do an annual vision quest, you and your lover, take a weekend and do a vision quest. You can email me at alive@chriswalker.com.au and I’ll send you the process. Or get the Sacred Love book online at www.chriswalker.com.au - it’s all there.

5. Love is a lifestyle

Love is not blind, people are. I make your lifestyle a devotion to love. Never let the crush of busy – ness get in the way of the most treasured and beautiful gift you can hope for. True love is a pearl, a precious gift from the heavens, natures greatest honoring, make your lifestyle a loving lifestyle. You can’t be a mean so and so at work and a loving partner at home. Love is a lifestyle.

Born and bred in Australia, Chris Walker consults to people and organizations throughout the world on improved relationships, health and lifestyle through the application of the Universal laws of Nature. The result he offers is that we stay balanced, share loving relationships, work with passion, enjoy success, and live our personal truth.

About The Author:
Chris Walker is a world leading change agent, an environmentalist and author of more than 20 books. Born and bred in Australia, he consults to people and organisations throughout the world on improved relationships, health and lifestyle through the application of the Universal laws of Nature. The result he offers is that we stay balanced, share loving relationships, work with passion, enjoy success, and live our personal truth. To learn more about Chris’s work and journeys to Nepal, visit http://www.chriswalker.com.au
Article Submitted On: October 28, 2006
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/

Are You Ruining Your Relationship?

While most of us would like to think that our failed relationships were caused by someone else, that isn’t necessarily the case. Taking the initiative to consider what you might have done to contribute to the downfall is a great first step towards actually repairing a relationship. Blame doesn’t really help fix a relationship, but taking responsibility for your actions does.

Are you always right?

One of the biggest problems in a problem relationship is the idea that one person is right and the other is wrong. Are you the one that always insists that you are right? If so, you might be harming your relationship more than helping it. By trying to create a right and a wrong party, you are increasing the split in your relationship and probably causing more animosity from your partner.

Solution

The next time you want to point out that you are right about something in an argument or a discussion, stop and count to ten to yourself. This will slow down your brain and take the focus off the moment at hand. In most cases, you will see that saying that you were right probably isn’t going to add to the situation. How would you feel if your partner did the same to you?

Are you unable to let go of the past?

Many women have a terrific memory that can retain old incidents for long periods of time. However, when you constantly bring up old arguments and issues, you aren’t really solving the problem that you are having in the present. You are distracting the discussion from the real issue and hindering any progress.

Solution

When you feel that you want to bring up something from the past, preface what you are saying with, “I’m not sure if this is relevant or not, but let me say this aloud.” This will show how you are thinking about things, but will also admit that you might not be on the correct thought process. After saying what you want to say, then you can say aloud that it’s really not relevant, so it’s not something that needs discussion.

Are you loud when you want to prove your point?

Being louder doesn’t necessarily make you right. When you raise your voice, you tend to forget about the words that you are trying to relate or your partner and your partner may just decide to not listen. Whatever you say might be dismissed as too emotional, rather than anything that might help the argument or discussion at hand.

Solution

There are several things that you can do when you start to feel your volume rise. Many couples like to give each other signals when this is starting to happen, while others find that stopping and breathing a few deep breaths can stop the increased yelling. You can also leave the room for a moment to collect yourself and then try to lower your voice when you return.

Do you accuse them of not doing things right?

It’s really easy to turn every wrongdoing into someone else’s fault when you’re upset or hurt. However, when you begin to blame your partner for everything that is wrong, you are not taking responsibility for your own role in the argument or issue. Accusing someone when you’re upset is usually an accusation without merit.

Solution

It’s best to take your focus off of the person that you are talking with and place it more on the issue at hand. When you start to look at arguments in black and white instead of emotional terms, you will be able to find solutions that don’t hurt each other in the process.

About the Author:
Cucan Pemo
Relationship Tips - Relationship Advice - Relationship Help
Hidden Persuasion Secrets In Relationships: How to command attention, change Minds, influence people, and get what you want in life and Love. Thousands of satisfied readers cannot go wrong!
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Successful Career, Rocky Relationship?

While you’re soaring with the eagles at work, things are about as low as they can get on the home front. This is a quandary many people before you have had, but within the situation is an opportunity to evaluate life.

Often it takes a relationship breakdown of divorce proportions to force us to stop and take stock of the meaning and direction of our life.

We also know that “love” is one of the pillars of our life. We also know it’s not logical to be working as hard and as long as we do, creating all the money and success imaginable only to end up alone and unable to share all the fruits with the one you love the most.

What the successful career, rocky relationship situation provides you with though is an opportunity to evaluate. Let me explain.

Life is about purpose – life purpose. You, within your life purpose – above everything else, are striving for happiness and in order to help you evaluate your situation I have a few questions for you that takes you right to the heart of the matter.

Are you happy “with you” in your relationship?
Are you happy with your partner in the relationship?
Do you still want the relationship?
Can the relationship be salvaged? If so, how?

Are you using work to hide from something at home? Children; in-laws; step-children, the pain of a family death; something your partner said to you months ago that hurt and you never let go of it?
Are there pressures at home that could be worked out with a different strategy i.e. outside help, like coaching or counseling?

Do you love your work more than your partner?
Do you change into a different person that you don’t like when you cross the threshold, or when you turn into the street?

Many situations can be worked out if you want to work them out. In the short term talking or working together can work, but you must be careful that you don’t just stick a plaster over what appeared to be a small wound only for it to reopen again later.

One of the ways to avoid this is to strip down your life in order to rediscover your self. Doing this will make you happy, not just for an hour or a day, but for life.

People who have been in successful careers, rocky relationships are using this situation to reevaluate their meaning & direction in life. They’re doing it and finding they’re now mastering more than just the career pillar, but the relationship one too.

They are growing into stronger, fitter, happier people. Do you want to join them?

Best Wishes

Jo Ball
Coach & Founder, Unstoppable Life

About the Author:
Jo Ball (LCA, Dip, NLP Prac) Are you someone who wants to develop a successful career and relationship? Jo Ball is developing the next generation of people who succeed in career and relationships at Unstoppable Life. These people are clear on their purpose – "Life Purpose". Join Jo’s Fr>ee newsletter now and discover what others worldwide are alr
Article Source: www.iSnare.com

Relationships And Our Insurance Agents

Whether they’re romantic, loving, personal, friendly, or professional, relationships of every kind are everywhere. Men and women have relationships. Parents and children have relationships. Employers and employees have relationships. Teachers and students have relationships. Neighbors even have relationships with one another. Is it any surprise that we should have relationships with our insurance agents, as well?

The decision to purchase an insurance policy is an important one. Even more important is the amount of insurance and the kind of coverage you purchase. This is true for all forms of insurance, from health and life insurance to auto and homeowner’s insurance. Whether you’re purchasing several different insurance policies, or have decided to purchase only one kind of insurance, the process can be a bit confusing if you are not sure about what kind of coverage to purchase. This is why we need relationships with our insurance agents.

Insurance agents are trained professionals. Some insurance agents specialize in selling a certain kind of insurance, while others specialize in selling several different kinds of insurance. The insurance agent with whom you speak will know all of the ins and outs of the particular type of insurance policy you wish to purchase. He or she will be able to walk you through the process based on your financial situation and your needs. Our insurance agents can only know this information if we develop relationships with them.

Whether you find your insurance agent online or in your local phone book, don’t just pick up the phone and buy a policy. Make sure you develop a relationship with him or her before you start signing any dotted lines. Talk with your insurance agent about the coverage you want and how much you can afford. Regardless of the kind of insurance policy you wish to purchase, your insurance agent will be able to help you determine the best coverage for you at a price you can manage.

About The Author:
Elizabeth Newberry
Find Affordable Auto Insurance Companies Home Insurance Quote Online Car Insurance Quote
Article Source: NewFREEArticles.com

Surviving The Tough Times In Your Relationship

Every marriage will go through times of challenge. Some marriages will be strengthened while others will be destroyed. Tough times may be as common as financial problems or the aftermath of a hurtful argument. Marriages may suffer as the result of a miscarriage or the death of a loved one. Whatever challenge you face, remember this:

It is better to be prepared for tough times and not have them than to have tough times and not be prepared.

Here are five of the essential principles to strengthen your relationship and give you an edge during times of adversity.

1) Be Mindful Not To Worry. If something needs to be fixed, fix it if you can but remember that worry never fixes anything. Worrying is a waste of time and energy. It's like sitting in a rocking chair, it gives you something to do but it gets you nowhere. Worry prevents you from seeing hope and solutions. Besides, most things we worry about never happen.

2) Be Patient Towards Your Partner. Patience is an excellent remedy for the tough times you will go through. You love your partner so don't choose the moments of crisis to come down on them. Don't let stress sway you into losing perspective. Realize that if you are not careful, adversity can damage your relationship. Stay away from blaming, using criticism to make a point, lecturing, sarcasm and name calling. Everything becomes possible again when love and patience are present.

3) Practice Forgiveness...It is amazing how quickly someone will turn on the person they love. Don't let upset feelings infect your relationship. Resentments close the door on the possibility of a bright future. Love is a continous act of forgiveness. Everybody likes the idea of forgiveness until they have to be the one to forgive. If you want your relationship to be better than most, you must instill this habit of forgiveness.

4) Use Your Sense Of Humor. A laughing couple is much stronger than an arguing or withdrawn couple. If you can find humor in the challenge you are facing you can survive it. Laughter dissapates hopelessness. You cannot argue and laugh at the same time. It is impossible. The choice is up to you.

5) Vow To Stay Connected. Stand together against adversity. Promise to endure throughout the storms that most likely will come your way at some point or another. Staying connected takes practice. People commonly choose to withdraw from each other at times of trouble. This distance may feel safer but it does long term damage to the relationship. If you truly love your partner then vow "We will get through this, Together!"

You are the only one who is responsible for your character. Do not let other people or circumstances determine your actions. If there is goodness in your relationship, then it is worth fighting for. Give your partner a message of committed reassurance. Let them know, "I'm Here For You." and "We Will Get Through This."

Things To Keep In Mind During The Tough Times

1) Don't blame each other for the situation.

2) Lower your expectations of one another until the crisis subsides. Eat leftovers or fastfood. Don't worry too much about the housework.

3) Remind yourself that the tough times won't last forever.

4) Don't take advice from people who have a negative attitude.

5) Ask for help from family and friends.

6) Remember your love and commitment to each other.

7) It's okay to let the answering machine take your calls.

8) Reduce your stress by exercising and getting plenty of sleep.

About The Author:
Mark Webb is the author of How To Be a Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™. Sign up for Mark Webbs Relationship Strategies Ezine ($100 value). Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com.
Submitted: 2006-10-24
Article Source: GoArticles

Tips In Solving Relationship Problems

It can not be denied that relationships have been considered as the source of a loving relationship that is full of support, enthusiasm and pleasure, whether the relationship is in the family or to somebody you are intimately in love with. And we would like to experience such a relationship to last until death. Hence, we exert so much effort in order to nurture and to make it perfect if possible.

Whether we like it or not it can also be source of sadness and distress when it fails to address the basic elements for a good relationship. This is the reality of what they call relationship problem. To have a relationship problem does not necessarily follow that the relationship we started will automatically doom to failure. That will not be the case to happen. There is still a chance to fix it.

However, we will be required to do some extra effort to keep things intact. There are many couples who take things for granted. They do not bother their relationship problems, still with great hope that the problems will just disappear by itself. They reconcile with each other but never bother to examine what had occurred or why it happened and to find some solutions to the problem.

In view of this indifference, a majority of the couples are going through series of problems. There are some problems which are not too difficult to solve compared to others. And there is a need to really to ask for professional help from a counselor. A number of people believes that the professional guidance helps them in recovering their relationship and enabled them to discover different ways to work out their problems and resolve that it will not happen again in the future. Therefore, it is a must for every couple to deal immediately with their problems in order to be in the back in the right path and continually improve the relationship. Always seek some ways of getting back and relight the fading intimacy of love.

Relationship problems will always be part of our human existence. What do you think are the causes of such problems? Being too close to somebody can give us moral support, consolation and joy, but it could also be a source of grief, disappointment and misery. Secondly, we have ups and downs of being attracted. Sometimes, we do not feel to approach the person. We want to be alone. There are times that we are passive and not eager to see our beloved. And this can strain the relationship.

Sad to say, we have minimal control along this line of the relationship. Thirdly, we have the demands from our work and financial stability. We can not do away from their concrete pressures because are the sources of our life as a human being. They provide the basic necessities of life. Lastly, the differences in our goals to achieve and our expectations from each other so as to sustain the relationship. I suppose these are the areas of concern that we should immediately address in order to make some changes for satisfaction of the relationship. It will eventually lead us to grow together.

What are the most common problems of a relationship? We have the following problems namely, the communication is very poor, poor skill in solving problems, lack of support from one’s companion, and no quality time for each other.

About the Author:
Dana Goldberg is editor of Family 2006. A resource site focusing on family issues, relationships and marriage.
Article Source: http://www.articles2k.com

Dating and Relationship Tips

Since Dating and Relationships are such a large, important part of everyday life, this article strives to help clear up myths from facts and present an overview of surrounding issues.

Show Off If you have a great body you're trying to show off and young physical appearance, yet worry because you still seem to have difficulty finding dates and establishing relationships, here are some pointers. Turn off the "ME" focus. Others tend to see that as boorish and think you only care about yourself, not others and certainly not them. Instead, turn the focus on outside interests that the other person can relate to, even if it has to be the weather. For help, tune in to an online news source like CNN or subscribe to a national or other major newspaper or magazine like Newsweek or head to the public library for the latest news briefs.

Online dating might be a good outlet for you, to as it generally offers a place to list all your great physical qualities as well as outside interests and more, presenting a more rounded dating candidate. Then those who are VERY interested in great abs, youthful appeal, etc. will be able to check you out. And those who are interested in the other interests can focus on those, too.

Sit, Don't Take a Stand Instead of voicing your opinions over issues that you pretty well know, cause heated arguments, don't take a stand. Just sit them out. There's no shame in passing up an argument. For example, if you both call yourselves "Christians," yet one of you firmly has a complete set of rules and regulations about what a "Christian" really is, and doesn't hesitate to voice this, skip over conversations about religion. If you have to, simply say something along the lines of, "This gets us too heated, so let's pass on if for now and move on to something else." Agree that it's okay to disagree. Because it is!

Traditions Keep up with some old traditions from each family. Alter some; create new ones. The main thing here is to make positive memories that you can share and relive over and over, especially during rough spots when you can't remember why you are together. Traditions can be like glue and bind you with a common past.

Sex Vs Love Sex and love are not the same thing. Learn the difference and don't measure love by your hormones.

Negotiator Forget "his" and "hers" roles and who "should" do what when...Learn to negotiate. What works one day may not work another when timing is off, kids are on the run and disaster strikes, for instance, when your mother-in-law drops by unexpectedly.

Love and Hate Love your mate. It is OK to strongly dislike (or "maybe" hate) a behavior, like cracking knuckles or biting nails. But remember to love the person.

About The Author:
Nishanth Reddy
For more Tips and advice on dating and relationships, Visit Free Online Dating Guide
Discover the best way to find your dream date online.
Posted: 27-09-2006
Article Source: ArticlesBase.com

Making Your Relationship Work

Ever run into a brick wall, so to speak, with your mate? Can’t seem to pass “Go” without collecting 200 fresh wounds? Well, it’s time to build a bridge and tear down that brick wall. Here are your tools:

ATTITUDE – Get an attitude adjustment first. Lighten up and do a 180-degree about face. Read the Sunday comics, grab an old comic book, turn on the Comedy channel, watch funny videos or DVDs. Get in a better mood and pass it along to your mate. Invite your mate to tune in to comedy with you, too.

2. FRIENDSHIP – Go back to being friends for starters now that you’re in a good mood. Forget the love stuff, if you want. And just focus on being good friends; share compliments, do things for one another, go out and have fun together, enjoy one another’s company.

3. RELAX – Let your hair down. Trust and relax. Be yourself. Don’t let old wounds open or fester. Forget the garbage memories and just be in the here and now together.

4. TIME OUT – If possible, spend extra time together for awhile, like during your original courting days. Hire a sitter, order out, eat at fast food places, grab ice cream cones and go for walks in the park. Get to know each other all over again. That’s the key. Then you’ll remember why you fell for each other in the beginning and history will hopefully repeat itself.

5. COMMUNICATION – Take it slow and easy. Keep away from subjects that you don’t agree upon. And slowly re-learn to communicate with each other all over again. If necessary, and it’s not a crime or shame – get help. Seek a trusted friend or adviser, a church clergy member or certified professional counselor. No need to go it alone. Find your weak areas and how to over come them and plan for future communication difficulties.

6. GOALS – Gradually develop goals together so you’ll have a direction to head. Write them down in a notebook just for the two of you. And over time, develop them, revise them, cross them off your list. The idea is to HAVE goals together and work towards a common goal.

7. SCRAP BOOK – Create a memory album together. Add photos, clippings, menus and anything that reminds you of the “good times.” Then when tough times comes, you’ll have something to “hold on to” – your bridge to romance.

So don’t just sit back and sulk. Take short steps to improve your relationships and let life’s problems magically pass by while you hold on to your relationship.

About the Author:
Mark Freeman
This article provided courtesy of http://www.christian-singles-meet.com
Article Source: www.iSnare.com

Relationship: Needed Space

It is important to spend quality time together but it is equally important to give space to each other. Let him go hunting while you go shopping. Each of us like to do certain things that our partners don’t like and for that we need to give space to each other. If one likes fishing then the other need not hang around to watch the catches. We can always encourage and give space to our partners to do the things they like.

People in a happy relationship always don’t cling to each other all the time; they give space to each other. Too much of sweet never gives you the taste! Thus too much of togetherness too gets cramping. You don’t have to be together all the time to keep your relationship intact. Be together yet give space to each other. Encourage each other to spend time for the things they like. If possible try to establish a set time for this purpose. Perhaps you could plan out every Friday night as a single night when you and your partner could do things you like to do on your own. But one thing you should always remember; Trust your partner. To keep a relationship healthy there has to be trust between the partners. There has to be an open positive exchange of trust. If this is lacking then you need to contemplate over it. If you keep drilling your partner and always try keep an account of what he/she did last night then you are actually not giving the needed space. You should learn to trust.

There should be openness in your relationship so that both can spend time on their own without the guilt of ignoring each other. It has to be a mutual agreement. Spending time with the company of others such as other family members, friends and colleagues is equally important. You should never pretend to give up meting your friends; family you love or give up activities you love, that should not happen. Never deprive yourself of the things you like as you will never be happy with yourself and your partner.

You need to love yourself first before you love somebody else. When you are on your own you are able to understand yourself better and your relationships with others. Therefore it is very important to spend time alone without your partner. When you are alone you become the individual you that your partner loved you for. Give space to yourself and don’t lose your identity. All of us need time in aloofness to understand and know ourselves better, to do the things we enjoy. It is only then we can be our individual self in love with ourselves and our partners. It is the key to a healthy relationship.

How can you miss your lover when you are always clinging to each other? You have to be apart to miss each other and know the depth of your love .It is only when you are away from your lover you realize how much you love him/her.

For the survival of a long lasting relationship private privacy is important.

About The Author:
Julia Jones
Find more information visit: Relationship: Needed Space
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Article Submitted On: October 30, 2006
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/

Social Skills and Friendship: 6 Strategies to Make and Keep Friends When It Does Not Come Naturally

Making friends is a skill. It takes confidence and intuition. And in some cases it takes time and help. Our kids and adults who have Asperger Syndrome or Autism need extra help in picking up the subtle steps.

Following are six ways you can work with your kids to help them grow confidence and competence with their peers in social settings:

1. Identify very specifically the social skills your kids most need to learn. If your child tends to get into arguments with peers about what they will do together, you have an opportunity to teach a problem solving skill. In this case the skill will be 'negotiating differences with friends'.

2. Break each social skill into its own little set of sub-skills. Bite off only what your child can easily chew on. If the primary social skill you want to teach is 'how to approach a friend to get together on the weekend', the sub-skills can include: “Who will you approach?” “When is a good time to ask?” “Where can you plan to be together?” "What will be your suggestions about what you and your friend will enjoy doing together on Saturday?"

3. Prepare your child with skills that reciprocate and encourage friendship. Listening to the other person's feelings and sharing your belongings are two skills that build trust and lasting friendship.

4. Find entertaining ways to work on skills. The social problem scenarios in your childrens' entertainment are great for case studies. The TV shows and movies your kids love are great material for brainstorming strategies and solutions. Practice in role play.Make it a game. Be the characters. Find entertaining ways of working on skills.

5. Encourage your kids to go places where they are more likely to meet friends with whom they have common interests. If your child loves comic books, he will have a built in topic to talk about with the kids from the comic book club.

6. Help them identify the peers who would be the right friends for them. They may not agree and you may have to let them go forth and experience disappointment. Don't judge, but do use those experiences to help them explore how to choose who they spend time with.

About the Author:
Ellen Mossman-Glazer M.Ed. is a Life Skills Coach and Behavioral Specialist, specializing in Asperger Syndrome, High Functioning Autism, ADHD, and learning difficulties. Over her 20 years in special education classrooms and treatment settings, Ellen has seen the struggle that children and adults have when they feel they don't fit in. She now works in private practice with people across the USA and Canada, by phone, teleconference groups and email, helping parents, educators, caregivers and their challenging loved ones, to find their own specific steps and tools to thrive. Ellen is the author of two on line e-zines, Emotion Matters: Tools and Tips for Working with Feelings and Social Skills: The Micro Steps. Subscribe for free and see more about Ellen at http://artofbehaviorchange.com/ You can take a free mini assessment which Ellen will reply to with your first action step.
Article Source: ArticleWarehouse

How To Identify Problems in Your Relationship

Before you can choose the proper persuasion techniques in your relationship, you will need to consider what you want to change and what is causing the problem in the first place. Sometimes it’s not as simple as wanting something to change, you need to know what you’re up against.

What’s happened to you?

A lot of couples can undergo relationship troubles when there’s been a significant event that has affected them. The death of a family member, a pet, health problems, legal troubles, drug problems, and mental issues can all contribute to problems in a relationship when they’re not sufficiently handled. Take the time to inventory your past few months to see what may have been the trigger for the problems that you’re having right now. Think about the time frame of the problems that you are facing. Has it been a recent thing or have you been having troubles for a longer period of time?

What’s going on?

Having problems is so vague that you might want to sit down and really define what has changed for you in your relationship. Instead of saying that things aren’t good or that you wish things were better, what is happening right now that isn’t something that you like? Are you talking less? Are you seeing each other less? Is one partner abusive? Try to figure out the action that is causing stress in your relationship so that you have a focal point for further discussions.

This isn’t just about you

While you’re at it, you need to start asking your partner as well what they think the problem is. Sometimes you need that outside perspective in order to get a handle on the direction that you need to go in. Try to approach your partner not from the perspective of blame, but rather from the viewpoint that you want to make things better. This is not the time to say that someone is wrong, but that you want to figure out what is making you both unhappy.

Deciding that you’re the only one in the relationship whose opinion matters is an easy way to cause more problems – even when you don’t actually think that. Your partner does not want you to attack them for things that have happened and it can feel like an attack when you’re the only one doing the talking. You need to take the time to listen to your partner and really come to an understanding about what they need from you.

And what if your partner doesn’t think anything is wrong?

An interesting situation that you might find yourself in is when your partner decides and answers that nothing is wrong. And what do you do then? When your partner is obviously unhappy – distant, avoiding you, etc. – you will want to approach him or her differently. Sometimes making a date to talk and to figure out what you’re not happy will be all the impetus for your partner to start revealing what’s going on in their head.

They need to feel like you aren’t going to attack them for having problems with your relationship, so make sure that you allow them to have whatever feelings they have without saying that they are wrong. What you want to do is tell them that you’re genuinely interested in making your relationship better and that by finding out what they think, you’ll be able to make them happy as well.

When you have figured it out

It can take time to really determine what the real problems in a relationship are, but once you do, you need to take action immediately. This could come in the form of discussing each other’s needs and what solutions they might propose as well as sitting with your own feelings to see what solutions you might have for the other person. It all comes down to communicating with each other and seeing what the relationship needs to become stronger.

Some couples find that talking works well to solve problems, while others like to write down their feelings and then share them. Whatever seems to allow you both to express your feelings honestly and accurately – do that. What’s great about relationship problems is that most of them can be solved with a little patience and a lot of talking. You just need to get started.

About the Author:
Cucan Pemo
Relationship Tips - Relationship Advice - Relationship Help
Hidden Persuasion Secrets In Relationships: How to command attention, change Minds, influence people, and get what you want in life and Love. Thousands of satisfied readers cannot go wrong!
More free family and relationship tips available here.
Content Provider: http://www.my-articles.com

How To Make A Relationship Last?

For a relationship to last, there are few basic requirements. The rapidity with which relationships are breaking in the modern days is a matter of concern and we should try to find out how to make a relationship that lasts for a long time. The major factors that affect the survival of a relationship are as below -

Selection Of Partner - Sometimes, our selection of partner may be wrong. We may have nothing in common and our values and goals may be very different. With bad selection from the beginning, no relationship can survive for long. One of the main reasons of wrong partner selection may be hurry in selection of partner and inattention to the true nature of the selected partner.

Communication - bad communication is another reason for break ups. Partners are unable to tell about true feelings to each other for many reasons including fear of conflict. Sometimes, non-verbal communication is made which fails in sending the message.

Expectations - High expectations in a relationship is another reason. We expect that after we fall in to a relationship, we will become happy, satisfied and feel good at all the times. That does not happen. This creates frustration and leads to blame on the relationship.

Sustaining relationships is difficult. It gives joy, but demand lot of efforts. Relationship is no solution to all our life problems. Sometimes it creates its own problems. For a relationship that lasts, we have to take care of all the aspects of the relationship.

About the Author:
CD Mohatta writes for ecards, screensavers and wallpapers. The topics of his writings include love, inspiration, holidays, birthdays etc. You can view free birthday wallpapers, solve fun quizzes on relationship and articles on relationships.
Article Source: http://www.articles2k.com

Your Best Self Will Build a Better Relationship

The greatest gift you can give to somebody is your own personal development. Stop waiting for the "some day" that never seems to come. Stop waiting for people and circumstances to change. Instead change what you can, yourself. Don't settle for less than you can be. Strive to be your best self. When you take better care of yourself, everybody wins. You will be a better partner and for that matter, a better parent, a better friend, and a better citizen. Everybody benefits from your personal development. This may sound a little odd but always work harder on yourself than you do your job. You can change the word "job" to any other area of responsibility such as your marriage or your children. I'm not telling you to go to work tomorrow and put your feet up on your desk with your hands behind your head. If you do, then your supervisor will firmly ask you, "What do you think you're doing?" I don't think your boss will appreciate it if you respond, "I'm just taking care of myself today." What I am telling you to do is to take better care of yourself mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Self-responsibility is the goal here, not selfishness. You are not trying to be first but rather the best that you can be. You are taking care of yourself for the people that you love. It's like the pregnant mother who quits smoking for the sake of her unborn child. Or the grandfather who starts an exercise and nutrition program because he wants to watch his grandchildren grow up. By taking better care of us, others will benefit. This can also be compared to keeping your car tuned up. The tune-ups will get you better mileage and the engine will last much longer. Your decision to improve is the starting point. Decide to take charge of your life TODAY! Decide to separate yourself from the crowd that only makes excuses for why they aren't living life to the fullest. Their excuses are based on fear. You must conquer your fears. If you listen to your fears, you will never know your truest potential. Your fears will act as roadblocks that keep you from experiencing all of the good things that life has to offer. Fear can fill your mind with thoughts that will hold you back. These thoughts may be such as, "I can't", "It's been tried before", "It's too hard" and "I'm not good enough". It doesn't take much of this before you no longer trust your instincts. All of us have been through trials of many kinds. It's not whether you get knocked down; it's whether you get back up. Your past doesn't predict your future. Don't be afraid to live. I challenge you to respond positively, not negatively, to the things that happen to you. When it looks like you've exhausted all of the possibilities, remember this "You Haven't"! Don't wish for less problems, wish for more skills. Surround yourself with people and resources that have the answers for self-improvement. If you have a weakness, you need to be strong enough to admit it and then get some help to correct it. Commit yourself to at least fifteen to thirty minutes per day of study for self-improvement. This can be reading, listening to a tape, or watching a program but make sure you get your time in. You can miss a meal but don't miss this time of study. Focus on topics that promote spiritual, emotional, physical, and mental growth. Life will become much easier as you become better equipped to handle its challenges. What could you do with your life if you really decide to? How do you want to be remembered? Stay away from the dead end street of comparing yourself to others. Doing your best is more important than being the best. Choose to make the most of each and every day. By building a solid foundation of self-improvement you will have so much more to offer to the ones you love. When you are your best self everybody wins.

About The Author:
Mark Webb, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.
Mark Webb is the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™. Sign up for Mark Webb's "Relationship Strategies" Ezine ($100 Value). Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com
Submitted: 2006-10-21
Article Source: GoArticles

Building A Strong Business Relationship

When it comes to business and sales, building a strong relationship is critical. The stronger your relationship is with your customer, the more likely they will be to refer you business.

Every day, make an attempt to build on the relationships you have with your customer. Don’t just say hi as they walk in and goodbye as they leave.

The last thing you want to do is make your customer feel like a statistic.

Let them know that their business with you is appreciated. Talk to them, strike up a non-business conversation with them. It could involve just about anything, such as the weather, sports, a movie, pets, etc.

Non-business conversation puts your customer at ease and gets them talking. The more they talk to you, the more they will open up to you, opening the door for more sales opportunities.

Or, you can keep it simple. For starters, get to know you customers by name, than address them by name. Say things such as, “how’s it going today?” Or “how was your weekend?” Or “is there anything I can help you with today?” Make your presence known and felt.

Your customer wants to be appreciated, so take a few minutes of your time to show them that you care about them as a customer.

Another way to strengthen your relationship with your customer is to keep a Rolodex handy with a list of all of your customers birthday’s, anniversaries, and special events. Keep your eyes and ears open for when customers talk about up coming events in their lives. Such as children’s birthdays and graduations.

When the appropriate date approaches, send your customer a card, wether it is a holiday card, a birthday card, a graduation card, or a congratulatory card. Just send it.

Your customers will appreciate the fact that you remembered them on their special day. This will only strengthen the relationship you already have with them.

There are many reasons to build a strong relationship with your customer, but two of the reasons remain to be key.

One main reason is that customers value and appreciate good customer service. They want the piece of mind of knowing that if something ever happened with their product or service, that they would have you to turn to as their go to person.

This is extremely important because your customer will have this in mind when your competition moves in to take them away.

And believe me, your competition will try to take them away. As long as you provide excellent customer service, your customer will stick with you.

There is no substitute for excellent customer service.

Customer service is the most important thing to a customer, even more important than fees’.

The second reason building relationships are so important is because of the referral process.

A customer that is treated with respect and provided excellent customer service will most assuredly refer their family and friends to you. Why wouldn’t they?

Your most important asset is your customer, so build and strengthen the foundations you have with them. Buy building strong relationships, you will be building your sales. Good luck.

About the Author:
Jay Conners has more than fifteen years of experience in the banking and Mortgage Industry, He is the owner of http://www.jconners.com, a mortgage resource site, he is also the owner of http://www.callprospect.com, a mortgage lead company.
Article Source: www.iSnare.com

Find That Special New Relationship

There are more single people in the world today than ever before. A growth in educational and work opportunities, combined with the desire to live the single life for longer, and the continuing number of people suffering from divorce or the breakdown of a relationship means that the singles market is a big one.

More singles doesn’t automatically mean that there’s more chance of having a relationship, however. In fact, studies show that it is becoming increasingly difficult to find someone special in today’s hectic world. This trend has, in turn, led to an increase in the number of western men, in particular, choosing to look overseas for their perfect partner.

Can you find that special relationship in another country? The hundreds of agencies that help to bring western men together with women from other countries would say that you can. Finding a bride in Russia, the Philippines or Thailand is no longer uncommon and the growing number of women in these countries that are interested in meeting western men means that you have a greater chance of success.

Even if the thought of looking abroad for a partner has never occurred to you before, it is probably worth some investigation. The process is as straightforward as joining a dating agency in your own country:

• Register your interest
• Complete a profile about yourself and what you’re looking for
• Make a selection from carefully matched details
• Meet in person or communicate by e-mail or letter

Good quality agencies set up personal introductions to help get your relationship off to a great start, and can help and support you throughout the whole process. Who knows; after all these years of searching for the perfect partner in your local town, you could find her on the other side of the world!

About The Author:
The Thai Connection is an established introduction agency that brings together British men and Thai ladies. To register or find out more, click on mail order Thai brides to visit our website.
Article Source: NewFREEArticles.com

Family and Relationships: The Family That Eats Together

When family members are constantly on the go, one of the first casualties is the family meal and family relationships. Typically, overscheduled families eat dinner in shifts: Mother and one child may swing by a fast-food restaurant drive-through on the way to music lessons. Another child may stop at home for a sandwich following soccer practice before going to a part-time job. A third child may come home an hour later and just snack on cereal. Dad may have a 12-hour day at the office, plus a long commute, and eat a microwave dinner when he gets home late in the evening.

According to the Food Marketing Institute, just 40 percent of American families eat dinner together, and then, no more than two or three times a week. That's in stark contrast to just a generation ago when close to 80 percent of families regularly ate evening meals together.

Certainly this endangered tradition is something worth saving. "The family dinner gives family members a chance to reconnect with each other after a long day at school or work," notes William Doherty, professor of family social science. "It helps everyone feel closer and lets children know their parents are interested in what's going on with them."

Probably one of the best ways to find time for family meals is for family members to cut down on the number of outside activities they're involved with, especially those that take place at dinnertime. In addition, you may want to take the following steps.

PUT IT ON YOUR CALENDAR

If family members simply can't rearrange their schedules for regular meals together, create a monthly meal calendar with at least two times a week set aside for a family meal. Find times when your family could be together with a minimum of disruptions. "It doesn't have to be an evening dinner," Doherty says. "It could be a Sunday morning breakfast, a late-night dessert, or a snack before bedtime."

GET EVERYONE INVOLVED

Get everyone in the family to pitch in with food preparation, table setting and cleanup, so that one person isn't doing all the work. "The whole family can be in the kitchen together, one person setting the table, someone else doing the stir-fry, another making a salad and everyone can help clean up afterward," suggests Barbara James, an associate professor of family and consumer sciences at Ohio State University. Not only does this spread out the workload, she says; it's also a good opportunity for communication, personal development, and teaching children how to cook.

TURN OFF THE TELEVISION

Eat at the dining room table for most meals, without a television on in the background. If a favorite television show comes on during the dinner hour, be willing to tape it with your VCR to watch later.

TAKE PHONE MESSAGES

If you have an answering machine, let it record messages for you during mealtimes so you can eat your dinner without interruptions. If a machine isn't available, ask your friends and family to put off their phone calls until after your children's bedtime unless there's an emergency.

About The Author:
Author, Rebecca Sweat, writes articles on Family and Relationships for Vision Media. More information about these and other current events and ideology topics can be found at www.vision.org.
Article Submitted On: October 26, 2006
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/

Nurturing friendships

When we plant a tree, we take care of that plant from the smallest stage of growth. We not only nurture that plant with water, air and fertilizers, but also protect it from any damage. Friendship is one such plant. One has to take care of friends, as one takes care of the plants, one grows.

Most of us take friendship for granted. We believe that friends are always there, whenever we need them. Why this attitude for friendship? Because, a day soon comes when our friends will begin feeling that we don't care for them. That day the friendship will get over. Does anyone wants to destroy long term friendships? No!

What can be done to keep the friendship strong? How to relate with friends so that the bond grows stronger? What to expect from friends, and what to give them in return?

Make a quick list of all your good friends. Now write the date, when you last communicated with them in anyway. When did you last meet them? When did last share meal with them, or a drink? When did you send them a gift? What was the date, when you tried to find out about their problems? Did you ask them and they called up to tell you? What is the ratio of your telling them of your problems, and they telling you theirs? Go deeper in the analysis of relationship. This exercise may reveal quite a lot to you about your bonding and sharing. Put yourself in your friend's shoes and think about what they might be feeling about the friendship?

This exercise will give you clues about anything that needs to be done by you to nurture friendship. Value your friendship by nurturing it on a regular basis. Meeting friends regularly, finding about what may be bothering them, sending them small gifts over intervals, sharing jokes with them, asking them for a movie together, and so many other things can help us make our friendship bond stronger.

Make your friends feel proud of you and your friendship. To communicate regularly with your friends, send them ecards on various occasions and for different reasons. Sending ecards is better than email most of the times. Make your friendship stronger.

About the Author:
CD Mohatta writes for ecards and online greetings, screensavers and desktop wallpapers. You can have his writings on your desktop with free desktop wallpapers. Send some of the free ecards at ecarduniverse. There are flash animated ecards in topics like xpressions, celebrations, family, friends etc. He also writes for quizzes & tests.
Article Source: http://www.articles2k.com

My Free advice to Save your Relationship

Now I know you don't want to lose him/her or you wouldn't be reading this. I also know that there is a weighing issue that is on your mind, and that is why you are reading this instead of talking to him/her.

Let me give you a little bit of relationship advice. I am not a love doctor or a relationship expert, but I have lived and been through enough in my life to be able to give you a little bit of strong advice that might help.

More often than not, we break up, get divorced, or separate in this country because we stop loving someone and start taking them for granted. Divorce is just the quick fix to a bad situation. It is the easy scapegoat. This is not what you want. You are better than this and so is he/she.

There are only a few things that really matter in life and really make us happy. Happiness comes from helping others, loving others, being loved, and loving what we do. We must love, and love it a choice. Usually when a relationship is on the rocks it is because one or both of the parties are having trouble coming to a loving compromise.

Love isn't about what's in it for me. Love is about giving. This doesn't mean that one party is giving all the time and the other is taking. It isn't a 50/50 split either. To truly be in love and for it to work both parties have to be giving 100% of the time. You must be fearless with your significant other and be able to share your entire life with them.

It doesn't matter how bad something gets or how bad something might have been, any relationship that has true love (the 100% giving kind) will make it through till the end. Remember that if you are married you said you would be together through good times and bad times until DEATH due you part.

This doesn't mean until he/she stops making a ton of money, becomes an alcoholic, or even gets a little rough with me. I will say that divorce is ok in two instances, when one of the two parties becomes uncontrollably physical with the other, and when one of the two parties is constantly cheating on the other.

There are many relationships that have made it through cheating, physical abuse, addictions, and many other serious issues. People fight and they make up. That is the way it works. The only way for it to truly works is for you to start loving your significant other. This means you have to be willing to give 100% of the time and is your significant other loves you she/he will also give 100% of the time.

The happy ending only comes to the couples that try. When we stop trying we stop loving. When we stop loving the game is over and the relationship is over. Remember the good times and build your love on the times you have enjoyed with this person. It is amazing how much more willing your significant other will be to give more to you when they realize that you are give everything you got. Give it a try, I promise you won't be disappointed.

About The Author:
Benjamin Ehinger
Are you ready to save your relationship? Do you want to learn how to have a lasting and loving relationship? Visit the following website for more information.
http://www.ready-repair-my-credit.com/
Submitted: 2006-10-20
Article Source: GoArticles

Miscommunication - Root Cause of Problems?

People of two opposing ideas can stir up arguments and fights. It's that situation when one thinks he has the right concept while the other one also believes he has the proper notion. Both of them would try to outsmart each other until one claims victory.

Here's an actual example.

My spouse would sometimes buy me signature clothing. When my Mom founds out how much it costs, she would advise us to budget our money and just buy the affordable ones.

A problem occurs when my spouse thinks that her effort to give me the best was unappreciated. Mom, on the other hand, would think that my spouse is such a spender.

There's a conflict with their beliefs. No two people are exactly alike. We are totally unique; not only physically, but mentally and emotionally as well.

There will be many times when your opinion will not correspond with that of another. So how can people prevent this kind of conflict from occurring?

Communication is the key to overcome doubts and misunderstandings.

You should let other people know what's in your mind.
Don't keep them guessing.

There was a story about two couples who were filing a divorce. After the lawyer have spoken to them both, he found out that the root cause of all their problems was due to miscommunication.

Here's one of the couple's problems.

The man filing the divorce said that he just hated the breakfast meal that his wife often prepared for him. On the other hand, the wife said that she's only preparing the meal because she thought it was her husband's favorite. But she never liked cooking it because it's very difficult to prepare.

See? If only one of them took the initiative to speak out what's in his or her mind, then that particular dilemma would be over.

Now why would people prefer to keep their complaints and criticisms to themselves? What's holding them back?

It's because they do not want to be rejected. Most, people, if not all, would like to be accepted and to be perceived as likeable in the eyes of others.

So can you get your message across without hurting their feelings?

Substitute negative statements with positive ones.

Instead of saying "You don't understand," say "Let me explain." Instead of remarking "You're wrong," say "Permit me to clarify." Instead of stating "You failed to say," just mention "Perhaps this was not stated."

There are certain words that affect a person more negatively in comparison with other words that have the same meaning.

Nothing could be more pleasing to the ear than hearing someone else say that you are right. In this case, be prepared to let other people know that you respect their opinions. You may add your comments at the end, but acknowledge them first.

Say:
You're right, although ...
Great suggestion, however ...
I agree with your opinion, however ...
I would feel the same way if I were you, although ...
I understand your situation, however ...

Reassure your counterparts that the decision made will benefit both parties. People need to feel that they have made the right choice.

Communication is a gift. Use it wisely for everyone's advantage.

About the Author:
Friedrich Asen is a personal development and relationship expert, counsellor, coach and author since more than 20 years. For more highly informative relationship articles please visit his site RelationshipImprover.com
Content Provider: http://www.my-articles.com

To End Or Not To End Your Relationship

Vanessa and Jon have a “good” marriage. They are kind and caring with each other. They enjoy many of the same things. So why is Vanessa in such turmoil over whether to stay or leave?

The problem is that Vanessa is very lonely with Jon. They are good friends, but they are not emotionally intimate. Jon has no desire to share any of his feelings with Vanessa, nor does he have any desire to understand Vanessa’s feelings. He is content to keep everything on the surface, while Vanessa wants a deeper emotional connection.

Since they have many good things in their marriage, Vanessa has decided to try marriage counseling, and Jon has agreed. Counseling or not, there is only one thing that can save this marriage – Jon and Vanessa shifting out of their intent to protect against pain and into an intent to learn about what is loving to themselves and each other.

Jon’s intent has always been to protect against pain rather than to learn about being loving to himself and others. He has done this by numbing out his feeling with marijuana and work. Jon’s choice to continue to protect against pain or to begin to open to learning from his feelings will determine the outcome of the counseling.

Vanessa, too, has operated with the intent to protect against pain. She has ignored her own feelings and been a “good” wife, submerging her own needs to comply with what Jon wanted. But at some point, she shifted her intent to learning about what is loving to herself, and now she realizes she cannot continue in an emotionally disconnected marriage.

The issues in your relationship may be about emotional distance, lack of passion, sexual problems, constant fighting, emotional abuse, (if there is physical abuse, then you must find a way to leave), or being used financially. There may be control and resistance occurring around many different issues. Yet the underlying issue is a lack of open and caring communication. And open communication only occurs when both people have a deep intention to learn about their feelings, fears, limiting beliefs, and resulting unloving behavior. If one or both people in a relationship are closed to learning about themselves and each other, the relationship will not heal.

If you are thinking about leaving your relationship, first think about your own intent. Are you open to learning about your feelings, beliefs and behavior? Or, are you devoted to protecting against pain with anger, withdrawal, resistance or caretaking? Are you avoiding your feelings with substances and activities, or are you opening to learning from your feelings and exploring yourself with a process such as the Inner Bonding process that we teach? The first thing you need to do is deal with your own intent.

Once you are open to learning for a number of months, and really doing your inner work, then re-evaluate your relationship. Has anything changed? Is your partner more or less open to you? Are you talking more and fighting or withdrawing less?

If things are not getting better or are getting worse, then it is time to ask your partner if he or she is willing to do some healing work with you – through counseling, workshops, and reading books together. If your partner refuses to embark on a learning journey with you, then it is clear that this relationship will not change. At this point, you need to either fully accept it as it is or leave it. It will not become the relationship you want it to be unless both of you are open to learning.

If one or both partners remain in the intent to protect, the relationship will not heal. Yet most relationships can be healed when both people are deeply devoted to learning about loving themselves and each other.

About the Author:
Margaret Paul, Ph.D., best-selling author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You" and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or email her at mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone Sessions.
Article Source: www.iSnare.com

10 Incredible Ways to Start Creating the Relationship That you Want

Everyone's relationship is filled with ups and downs. In order to keep your relationship happy and healthy, you will want to understand that not only is perfection impossible, it's also realistic. However, if you feel like your relationship needs some fine tuning, there are plenty of ways to create (or re-create) the relationship that you already have.

Ask for what you want

Sometimes it's really as simple as asking your partner for the things you feel are missing. We commonly believe that once we're in a relationship that our partner will know what we need after all, the relationship is still working. But people can not be mind readers, so it's your responsibility to ask for the things that will make you happy.

Be honest

In this assessment of your relationship, you owe it to yourself and to your partner to be honest with each other. While lying can seem like the simple cover-up for problems and other issues, it only complicates the matters and can lead to further problems. What you need to do is trust in each other enough to tell when you need something more and tell them truthfully.

Learn about persuasion

What's interesting about communication is that there are many ways to go about using it. Persuasion is an effective discipline for helping a couple learn the art of negotiating with each other in order to create a healthy relationship. Instead of focusing on one person who is right and another person who is wrong, persuasion allows you both to demonstrate your ideas and your goals and then creating a plan to achieve them.

Approach your relationship like a business

While this sounds unromantic, the idea of looking at your relationship as a business is a worthwhile process. By creating an overall goal (or mission statement) for your relationship, you can start to make decisions based on this overall idea. And the idea can guide your future together.

Compromise works

You can't always get what you want it's the truth. But what you can do is learn what is important to you in a relationship and what is not. Sometimes compromising isn't such a bad thing. When you allow your relationship to have the things it needs, that's the main point. You don't need to always get your way when the relationship is nurtured by an action.

Get to know each other

A lot of times, we forget that we grow and change over our lives, and thus assume that our partners will always be the way that they've always been. However, when you want to help strengthen your relationship, you will want to look at your partner again to see what has change and what you can learn. You might be surprised at what you find.

Leave the house

Often, couples can become stuck in their homes and their routines, forgetting that life is just waiting for them to experience it. Why not try getting out once in a while? Couples that make the effort to leave their familiar surroundings once in a while are often happier in their relationship because they allow themselves to have a new perspective.

Try something new

Like heading out of the house, trying something new can create a new dimension to your relationship. By simply signing up for a new class or trying out a new exercise routine can help to bring you both together. Since you'll have to learn this new activity together, you will be able to learn about how your partner deals with the process and watch them blossom into understanding.

Remembering the good

When we focus too much on the things that we don't like about our relationship, we start to see only the bad. But when we try to focus more on the good stuff, we'll see more of the good. What you need to do is start to create an optimistic attitude about your relationship. Try to think about things that are good about your partner first before you start criticizing the negative.

Forget the advice of others

But in the end, it's not about what everyone wants you to do; it's what will work for your relationship. Don't hold yourself up to someone else's standards find what makes you happy and then do that.

About The Author:
Mailcucan
Relationship Tips - Relationship Advice - Relationship Help Save Relationship With our Potent 4-Step Strategy which work! This incredible package will help you save your relationship or marriage! Thousands of satisfied readers cannot go wrong! More free family and relationship tips available here.
Posted: 12-10-2006
Article Source: ArticlesBase.com

Relationship before Function

As many are aware, I'm quite an advocate for the growing house church "movement" and love helping others to establish churches in their homes, coffee shops, office breakrooms, etc. I'm having a ball doing this and it's VERY rewarding. I was recently looking at Luke Chapter 10 verses 1-9 and there are some principles found there that will not only prove beneficial to the "house churchers" among us, but ANY Christian whose heart is set on advancing the Kingdom of God.

Let's take a look at the Amplified version. Here it is:

1...the Lord chose and appointed seventy others and sent them out ahead of Him, two by two, into every town and place where He Himself was about to come (visit).

2And He [Jesus] said to them, The harvest indeed is abundant [there is much ripe grain], but the farmhands are few. Pray therefore the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into His harvest.

3Go your way; behold, I send you out like lambs into the midst of wolves.

4Carry no purse, no provisions bag, no [change of] sandals; refrain from [retarding your journey by] saluting and wishing anyone well along the way.

5Whatever house you enter, first say, Peace be to this household! [Freedom from all the distresses that result from sin be with this family].

6And if anyone [worthy] of peace and blessedness is there, the peace and blessedness you wish shall come upon him; but if not, it shall come back to you.

7And stay on in the same house, eating and drinking what they provide, for the laborer is worthy of his wages. Do not keep moving from house to house.

8Whenever you go into a town and they receive and accept and welcome you, eat what is set before you;

9And heal the sick in it and say to them, The kingdom of God has come close to you.

Known for his ministry as a House Church planter, author and speaker Tony Dale emphasizes the fact that House Church is NOT merely a gathering or even a location; it's a way of life. As he says, there must surely be something more to this than exchanging pews for couches. How can it be anything else for Christianity is not merely another of the world's great religions; it's a moment-to-moment relationship with the Creator. Bearing this in mind, it's more easily conceivable that wherever we Christians find ourselves at any moment, that may well be the spot where we can begin to influence people for the Kingdom and see lives transformed.

Verse 1: We see that Jesus "sent them out ahead of Him." That means they went FIRST but He would soon be coming onto the scene. As disciples ourselves, have you found that to be the case today as well? All we have to be is available!

Verse 2: Despite having assembled an outreach team of 72 (some say even more), Jesus laments that there's so much work to do and 72 is simply not enough. We need more of us!

Verse 3: The team is reminded that they are vulnerable and are about to engage in Spiritual Warfare. Yet, they were trained. The call to serve is really a call to prepare. Have you been preparing?

Verse 4: They're instructed not to bring anything with them because they won't be staying. They are also told, essentially, not to dilly-dally. There was to be no chit-chatting with others they meet along the way; they were on a mission, after all. Instead, they were to keep a look out for someone VERY important. Who? Read on.

Verse 5: Jesus told them something very interesting. He said, "Whatever house you enter, first say, Peace be to this household!" Today, He might have said, "When you go to the office, the plant, Starbuck's, class, a Chamber of Commerce mixer, BE to them the expression of God that you are and let them experience the Peace of Christ through you. If you feel that same peace returned to you by another, THIS is the person you can build a church with (minister to, pray for, etc.)!" Here's a tip: Instead of inviting these people to church - asking them to abandon THEIR culture in exchange for YOUR church's friendly confines - why not get to know THEM in THEIR world? Chances are, they'll gladly invite family and friends to meet you and... POOF...instant Church! I heard about an East Indian Christian woman who was walking around a village, praying. When someone asked what she was doing, she said she was looking for people to pray for. She was invited in by many. Eventually, she established 50 house churches, that in a nation with millions of gods (note the lower case "g").

Verse 6: Jesus added, "And if anyone of peace and blessedness is there, the peace and blessedness you wish shall come upon him..." In other words, if that person is someone you can work with, you'll know it by the Spirit! In Acts 16:14, Paul was preaching by the river and one who was listening was a woman named Lydia. The verse says, "She was [already] a worshiper of God, and the Lord opened her heart to pay attention to what was said by Paul." No, she wasn't a Christian - and she may have not yet even heard the story of Jesus and His Kingdom message. Yet, she was referred to as "a worshipper of God." She could have been a Muslim, a Satanist, a New Age guru, a Buddhist...she was probably not a Jew because it was the Sabbath and she was not in the temple AND she was working besides. Scripture clearly says, however, says she was a worshipper of God and a Church was started at her house.

I'm convinced that the Lord's primary method of evangelism was probably not open-air crusades. Yes, we have a few examples of that, but I think there were far more one-on-one situations - the kind of opportunities constantly available to you and me today as well. ALL Christians can penetrate pockets of darkness by crossing over to where we are no longer "culturally comfortable." We have to get out of our Christian ghetto and rub shoulders with others in order to find those "worshippers of God." They're out there, trust me.

Personally, there was a time in my life when I was quite a devout "worshipper of God." Christian girls often mistook me for one of "them." Sadly, the "god" to whom I paid my homage was named "Mike." It was ME all along. I KNEW there was a GOD "out there" but all I saw around me was Religion - not relationship - and condemnation. Trying to "be good" seemed impossible for me to do no matter how hard I tried. Sure, I heard the old Bible stories, but I wasn't meeting anyone who testified of what He was doing NOW, at this moment in time, and that He wanted an intimate relationship with me. I remember thinking He was mad at me and, when I REALLY messed up, I was that much farther away from Him than I had been. Regardless, I still worshipped Him, too scared to do otherwise.

Sadly, there are millions like that! The harvest is abundant, as Jesus said. Multitudes need to know that God is not "out there" but wants to live large "IN THEM," for WE are the temple of the Holy Spirit, that same Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead.

Verses 7 and 8: They were told to "...stay on in the same house, eating and drinking what they provide, for the laborer is worthy of his wages. Do not keep moving from house to house. Whenever you go into a town and they receive and accept and welcome you, eat what is set before you..." Stay with them? Imagine it's Tom's first day at work and a fellow named Jerry comes by and invites him to join the gang at the local bar to have a TGIF celebration. A Christian, Tom hardens his brow and says to Jerry, "No, thank you, I'm a Christian and I don't go to places like that." What happened? Tom hasn't merely turned down Jerry's invitation; he's turned Jerry down, turned him off and turned him away in the process.

How much more effective would it have been had Tom RECEIVED Jerry's hospitality - the only kind he knew how to offer, by the way. He was being KIND to Tom - a godly quality - and may well be a worshipper of God, the best he knew how at any rate. He was extending his hand of friendship and inviting Tom into his world to meet his friends, maybe even family at some point. "Come and eat and drink with us, TOM!" was what he was saying. But Tom said, "No!" A door had been shut by Tom's reaction, when Jerry had graciously opened his culture to him.

Remember verse one? JESUS is planning to show up but He's sending out His team FIRST.

Guys like Tom.

Guys like us.

He allowed Tom to have that job, not merely so he could eat or pay bills, but as a means for advancing the Kingdom of God. Jesus WILL show up, but not if Christians go springing religion and self-righteousness on everyone and squelching those Divine opportunities. Granted, there are times when we MUST graciously bow out. Time constraints might cause us to say, "Sounds like fun, but can I take a raincheck?" Leave the door open. Now, if Jerry's gang had been going to a topless club, by all means, use discernment. "Jerry, I'd love to hang out with you guys but I'm not comfortable in places like that...can we go somewhere else? How 'bout lunch tomorrow...my treat?" He would probably respect that and, at the very least, invite you to something more to your liking another time.

Verse 8 essentially encourages us to move into THEIR environment. Jesus is our example of that. Didn't He leave HIS culture for the sake of planet Earth?

A lady asked me if I'd speak at her Brisket, Beer and Bible Study. I didn't hesitate to commit myself. The people she said she'll be inviting are kids who've done drugs, been in jail, people who don't feel accepted in churches. If like-minded Christians would join forces in a similar manner, we could have an incredible impact on our community. (Anybody care to throw a party?)

When you get there - to that place outside your element - love those you find there. Let the expression of Christ flow through you. I once officiated a wedding that was held in a bar. Everyone, including the groom, was sipping beer before the wedding even began. That was the most enjoyable wedding I can remember. I mingled and "worked the crowd." Afterward, I sat down and ate with an Hispanic man about my age, with a shaved head and a 2-foot braided pony tail hanging down his back. We enjoyed each other's company, laughed quite a bit as I recall. I told him how to reach me and made myself available. Another man asked me if I made a pretty good living doing weddings. When I told him that I don't charge, he grabbed a $50 bill from his wallet and said, "Here ya go, I need a blessing and I believe in reapin' and sowin'." The next day, the bride came by my office and gleefully said "everyone just loved you at the wedding."

Verse 9: Jesus says, "heal the sick in it and say to them, the Kingdom of God has come close to you..." Be discerning and see if there's a need where God could step in. As I minister in nursing homes and when I've gone to jails and hospitals, I've NEVER had a single person say they did NOT want me to pray for them. What I HAVE heard is people who say, "I don't know how to pray." I've even seen people cry while I prayed and afterward admit to me that NO ONE has EVER prayed for them.

Imagine!

Sure, we could offer to literally pray for the sick as we enter into these strange cultures, but how about those with sick marriages or sick finances, sick emotions, a sick spirit, sick of being unemployed, or just sick of being addicted and failing all the time? The verse says to tell them about the Kingdom of God. It doesn't tell us to tell them they're sinners. They already know that, I assure you. Tell them there's a King who loves them and cares about them. The woman at the well is a grand example of that. Jesus said to her, "Does anyone condemn you? Neither do I." He's been called a Friend of Sinners, more comfortable with the down and outers than with the religious crowd. He loved them and they loved Him; the self righteous got His indignation.

We can always find a way to bless and give hope. People are too often being cursed by the Church, condemned and reminded of how bad they are. "You're a sinner, bud." We forget that, if not for God's grace, so are we. Just as God said to Adam, "Who told you that you were naked?", I can hear Him asking the Church today, "Who told you that you were divorced, illegitimate, a fornicator, a drunkard...who told you - a child that I love - one I sent My Son to die for...that you were the scum of the Earth? I call you My friend, My child, My warrior, my priest, my chosen one. Who told you all those lies about yourself?"

Let us remember to DEMONSTRATE the presence of God before our preaching will ever be received. Spurgeon said, "Before you give a man a tract, wrap it in a sandwich." The same principle applies. It's called "Relationship before Function." They want to know how much you care before they care how much you know. As God intervenes, your testimony, your ministry will be more than welcome.

About The Author:
Michael Tummillo
Michael's mission is to bring Discipleship and Encouragement to the Body of Christ. Since 1999, he has broadcast over six hundred inspirational articles and a dozen booklets on subjects that will interest the thinking Christian, all designed to accelerate the process of spiritual development in God's people.
He is the founder of t.e.a.m. ministries (team1min@aol.com). An Author, Pastoral Counselor and Teacher, his eMail broadcasts, known as "Your Town for Jesus" are reaching millions around the globe WEEKLY. Write team1min@aol.com if you'd like to SUBSCRIBE.
A licensed/ordained minister, a Certified Workplace Chaplain, and a Professional Member of NIBIC, he has ministered in Methodist, Pentecostal, Charismatic, Baptist, Disciples of Christ, College and Cowboy churches. He is also a Speaker on the Christian Speaker Network and may be available to speak to your church or Christian group.
Article Submitted On: October 27, 2006
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/