Wednesday, February 28, 2007

An Adult Brother Sister Relationship

I consider myself to be extremely lucky for having apart from two caring and loving parents, also a brother-who entered my life three and a half years after I was born-to turn to whether I am happy or in distress. Being the oldest child in our family, I was usually the one that had to listen to all the parenting advice before my brother was old enough to take a stand. Although our relationship has been through a lot of ups and downs, now that we both technically belong to the adult group of the family, I consider my brother to be one of the most caring and smart individuals I know and consider him to be irreplaceable in my life.

I catch myself often traveling back in time and remembering with nostalgia those instances that we felt compelled to fight over a toy or a T-shirt, although we both knew that trouble was on its way since we were supposed to wash our hands and get ready to sit down at the dinner table with our parents. I smile when I recall those Sunday mornings that I had to run to my brother's bedroom as my mother entered his room in order to begin narrating his favorite story. Although I do not remember how this became a family "ritual" that lasted throughout our childhood-since the usual practice for kids is to listen to fairytales before getting to bed-my mother was always ready to repeat the story of the righteous young man and his successful fight against the misunderstood monster that frightened the inhabitants of an imaginary village. The tone of her voice and the moral of the story always made us wake up with a feeling of excitement that everything in life is possible. Well, I am proud to admit that my brother is a living proof of that old saying. Without hesitating and by being confident of his abilities and his willingness to experience the world, he was the one that took first the step of traveling abroad, studying the subject matter of his choice, becoming a young promising professional in his field of expertise, buying a house, and still keep his friends close and my parents happy with his life's choices.

The truth is that our relationship has changed considerably over the years. While at the beginning was more or less similar to any brother-sister relationship you have been probably exposed to, although we were not jealous of each other, somehow we managed through similar experiences and common life goals to establish a very sincere and open channel of communication. Maybe it seems too honest at times for me to handle with confidence, but the fact remains that I am grateful to have the opportunity of speaking with my brother whenever I please, to give him my advice when he asks for it and not to be afraid to raise an argument that might not find him in agreement.

Having an adult brother-sister relationship is one of those things in life I cherish and consider myself extremely lucky for being able to enjoy. My sincere wish for both of us is to continue opening up each other, understand and respect our differences, learn from each others mistakes, and of course, increase the frequency of our visits to one another. One thing I miss terribly is his face. He is one of the people I know I can laugh with and cry in front of without later feeling embarrassed I did. I consider this feeling to be unique; at least for me.

About the Author:
Jonathon Hardcastle writes articles on many topics including Relationships, Outdoors, and Nutrition
Posted: 08-10-2006
Article Source: ArticlesBase.com

Monday, February 26, 2007

Friendship Test- Do Friends Love Talking To You?

You must be having a large group of friends. You also deal with many people in your job or business. You interact with people at every stage of your life. Do you find that you love talking to one person and avoid talking to another? You must have noticed that. What is the difference between these two persons? Why do you enjoy talking to one of them and avoid talking to another? What about yourself? Have you thought about that?

We enjoy talking to people who have the following qualities -

Listening - Good communicators are good listeners. We all want to be heard without interruption. If you listen to your friends with attention, you will gain big popularity. Listen to them carefully, ask them few questions in between, and let them feel that you are interested in knowing about what they are talking.

Smiling Face - Good communicators don't frown easily. They keep a smile on their face and show genuine happiness talking to you. There is nothing phony there and they genuinely feel good talking to you.

Understanding - If you speak to a friend of yours and realizes that he/she does not understand at all, what would you do? You would avoid talking in future, because you have doubts about the grasping power of the listener.

No criticism - A good listener will listen without giving his/her own inputs in between and listen to everything without expressing any criticism. Even if he/she disagrees totally, they will show that indirectly but never criticize. Do you have these qualities? If yes, your friends would love talking to you.

About the Author:
CD Mohatta writes for ecards, screensavers and wallpapers. The topics of his writings include love, inspiration, holidays, birthdays etc. You can view free desktop wallpapers, free ecards and love greetings.
Article Source: http://www.articles2k.com

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Relationship Test - Are You Happier Being Alone?

Many of us are of the types who are happy being alone. If such persons enter into any relationship it will invariably fail. Such loners want to be left alone and want no responsibility of others nor want others to take any responsibility of their. Are you one of them? Have you thought about this? Let us find out more.

What are the main characteristics of such people? The first is total independence. They want total independence both at home and even at work. They may leave many jobs unless they find one where no one bothers them. They want to live at home on their own terms. They dislike being told by anyone about how things should be done. Their self-esteem does not permit this. They cannot develop healthy relationships because they never tell others about what should be done. They never bother about how others perform nor want to get tied up with one person. They feel very uncomfortable if they have to do that.

Their space is most important to them. They want their space with them and never to be invaded by anyone at any time. These kind of people wonder about how people live together. They believe that their own way is the right way and want no advice on that.

If such people get into a relationship by any chance, the relationship will go through very tough times. Before entering into any relationship, one should watch for this behavior. If any one displays such behavior, please talk to him/her in detail and only after assuring yourself, enter into the relationship.

About the Author:
CD Mohatta writes for personality quizzes, ecards, screensavers and wallpapers. The topics of his writings include life, inspiration, holidays, nature etc. You can download screensavers, send free ecards and take fun quizzes on relationship.
Article Source: http://www.articles2k.com

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Sacred Love - Relationships that Last are Abundant in Love and Respect

In our relationships we often feel that we are not getting what we want. But if we were to examine each of these relationships clearly, we would find that we were getting exactly what we want, but not in the form we wanted it.

A great example of this is affection. Say you want affection from your lover, and believe the only way you can be given affection is through touch. So you start grumbling that your lover is not affectionate, complaining and comparing them to someone, some ideal that gives you affection just the way you like it (which is always what you didn’t get as a child). The truth is, they are giving you affection, because there are so many other ways it can arrive, but you become blinded to those other forms of affection because your ego is saying, “I want it, like this”. It’s like tunnel vision, only witnessing it in one way. We become so obsessed with getting what we want, and how we want it. So obsessed with feeding the hardened Ego what it wants, when it wants it, and in the form it wants it, that we have no appreciation for what we are given, and we start complaining.

People become as you treat them. If you are always walking around moaning that you are not getting what you want, in the form you want it, then you can be guaranteed that your partner will withdraw from you.

If you don’t appreciate what you’ve got, you lose it. By walking around complaining that something is missing, you are actually manifesting loss. If you don’t see that you are getting what you want, just in a different form, you are always going to come at your relationship with complaints, “This is missing”, “That is missing”, “This is not good enough”, and eventually drive your partner away. People become as you treat them, and an ungrateful lover gets a depreciated love. What you don’t appreciate, depreciates.

You’ll need to prioritise love, return to that sacred moment every day, hold that absolutely beyond negotiation, this is sacred relationship. Even if the sky falls, and they leave you, if you really love them, you will let them go happily. Love has no expectations. All pain in relationship is blocked love.

There is a wonderful opportunity to bring devotion to your relationship. The real issue here is; are you prepared to make the love between you and your lover a priority in your life? That means it is more important than your work, your sport, your children and your wealth.

In the whole of the universe, every molecule has a place, a role, a gift. If you can just be thankful for what you have, for the blessing of life itself, and remind yourself of how lucky you are, then your whole life would change in just that one acknowledgement. We complain about love only because we expect more and more. But we forget how lucky we are. Once you see the gift of your life, your heart will open again, your youthfulness will shine, your energy becomes infectious, and your health takes a glowing leap. Music sounds different, and life, like a springtime flower, just opens and opens and opens. Stay humble to the gift and count your blessings.

About the Author:
Christopher Walker
Chris Walker is a world leading change agent, an environmentalist and author of more than 20 books. Born and bred in Australia, he consults to people and organisations throughout the world on improved relationships, health and lifestyle through the application of the Universal laws of Nature. The result he offers is that we stay balanced, share loving relationships, work with passion, enjoy success, and live our personal truth. To learn more about Chris’s work and journeys to Nepal, visit http://www.chriswalker.com.au
Article Submitted On: October 25, 2006
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Who Should Relocate In A Long Distance Relationship?

My Dear Lover,

Soon or later, you and your beloved will have to take the decision of who should move, because it is very hard to live apart.

Moving will change your life drastically, you should what you and beloved really wants from life, you need to communicate, communicate and communicate until you arrive to a very clear understanding about your expectations, It is your future.

Here are some questions to help you make the decision. Will you have to "give up" of your domestic animals? Does your beloved love having cats, dogs, birds, etc. at home?

Any of you already have children? How well will they accept living together, now as a new family? There are good schools for them in the new place? They like the new place? How about their friends, they accept being apart from them? Can they keep their current activities, like sport, etc. in the new place?

Are you moving far away from your family? If you are a kind of person that is very close to your family, it will be very hard not. to be with them so often. Maybe your parents are "old" and need your assistance. You have the right to build your life, your happiness, your love, but I think it isn't fair to leave your parents alone most of the time, when they most need your help. And if you already have children, can they live far away from their actual family? They are willing to have a new family?

If you are divorced and your ex lives near to you, will he accept your new mate? After all he comes from "nowhere", and almost from one day to another, he is already living with you.Of course you can't let your ex be the main reason for you to live your life, where you want, and with who you want, but if your ex is a kind of person that don't accept that you have a new mate, you need to be prepared to deal with that.

Can you live in the new area, possibly, for the rest of your life? Do you like the weather? The culture? If you are an urban lover and will move to a rural area, can you live with that, or will you miss the urban live too much?If you are a kind of person that can adapt very easy to new environments, this is no problem at all, but if you are not, and decide to move, you will need all the help, understanding and support from your beloved, for the more "difficult" phases, be aware that he knows that. Do you really know the new area, or you have been there before, only for a couple of weeks in romantic holidays? Try to know better the new area, if you can spend more time there and not. only when both of you are in holidays, before you move forever.

God forgive me, but if things don't go well between you, and you decide to you should end your relation, after you move, will you come back to your old home, or will you live in the new area? Can you live there, without the support of your family and old friends? It will be a very difficult time for you.

Well, with all these questions, it might seem to you, that this is a very difficult decision to make.It is a big decision that will change your life forever, you need to be very clear about your expectations.

But my most important advice to you is to listen to your heart. True love is so precious and can overcome any difficult.

Don't measure the distance, measure the Love, Maria Madeira.

About the Author:
P.S.: Being in a long distance relationship since 2003, Maria Madeira share her advices, her experiences, her help, teaching how to survive a long distance love. Join to "Long Distance Love Help" newsletter now. It's a heart to heart ezine that will help you in so many ways! http://www.distancelovinghelp.com
Article Source: www.iSnare.com

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Friendship- Do You Value Friendship?

Friendship is a gift of God. Some of us are blessed with good friends. But as it happens, these friendships are taken for granted in some cases and not valued. It is similar to a case of two couples. Say one has no child even after many years of marriage and the other has many children, more than they can manage. What do you think? Will the couple with many children value the children as much as the couple which has none? Everything is relative in life. We value what we don't have and give less valuable to what is freely available with us. Friendship is one such relationship.Why should we value friendships? What qualities does a good friend bring in our relationship that makes the friendship so valuable? Let us examine some of these.

Judgment - a good friend is rarely judgmental. We can be open in our behavior with our good friends because we know that they will not judge us. We can enjoy this freedom only with friends. It is nothing short of a blessing, because with other people our actions and behavior are always calculated and guarded and that takes away lot of pleasure from our life.

Share Sorrow and losses - A friend can be depended upon to share all our problems and sorrows. This sharing may not reduce the impact of loss but helps us to unburden ourselves. This is no small gift of friendship. Once I saw the image of a man left alone in the village after an earthquake. The whole villages got killed except this man. With who, will this man share his sorrow? A friend gives us this gift.

Hope - During our times of trouble, only a friend comes forward and gives us encouragement and hope. With that inspiration one begins afresh. At times in life when we feel totally devastated and hopeless, and when our self-esteem reaches a big low, a friend helps us regain confidence in ourselves.

About the Author:
The author, C.D.Mohatta writes on motivation, management, love, holidays etc. His text messages can be found in free wallpapers. The desktop wallpapers are available for free download in topics of nature, holidays, spiritual, animals, birds etc. The author also writes for ecards and greetings and romantic ecards.
Article Source: http://www.articles2k.com

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Severe Menopause Symptoms Affect Some Women's Relationships

Most women experience hot flashes and other relatively minor symptoms. Some women suffer from severe menopause symptoms that affect their quality of life, their relationships, their jobs and their overall health. Bleeding during menopause or the time leading up to it may be irregular.

Women may skip periods for months in a row, only to be surprised by one at the most inconvenient time. Some women experience very heavy menstrual bleeding during the years leading up to menopause, which is technically when a woman has not menstruated for 12 consecutive months.

Sometimes, when a woman is experiencing severe menopause symptoms like irritability, depression or mood swings that are affecting her relationship with her family or her co-workers, her doctor will recommend hormone replacement therapy. Hormone replacement therapy may also be recommended for women who are experiencing signs of osteoporosis, vaginal dryness causing painful intercourse and night sweats that are interrupting normal sleep cycles.

As menopause approaches, the ovaries begin to produce less of the hormone estrogen. Needed during a woman’s reproductive years to thicken the lining of the uterus, estrogen also influences the body’s ability to absorb calcium and use it for rebuilding bones and keeping them strong. It has an influence on cholesterol levels, keeping them normal. And, it is responsible for maintaining the vagina. Without estrogen the walls of the vagina become thin and dry. This can lead to painful intercourse, vaginal tearing and bleeding during menopause after or during sex.

Estrogen taken alone increases a woman’s risk for cancer of the endometrium, which is the lining of the uterus. Taking progesterone decreases that risk by causing the endometrium to be shed each month or monthly bleeding during menopause. After taking estrogen and progesterone continuously for several months or more depending on the woman, monthly bleeding during menopause may be lessened or stop completely.

Although hormone replacement therapy was the treatment of choice for moderate to severe menopause symptoms for many years, the Women’s Health Initiative study indicates that the risks may outweigh the benefits. The benefits, other than relieving severe menopause symptoms, are believed to be a reduced risk of osteoporosis, colon cancer and heart disease. But, the study concluded that long-term hormone replacement therapy actually increased the risk of heart disease, breast cancer, blood clots and stroke.

In estrogen only therapy, which does not cause bleeding during menopause, there is an increased risk of endometrial cancer, blood clots and stroke, but there appears to be no increased risk of breast cancer or heart disease. Because of the risks, hormone replacement therapy is not recommended as often, nor recommended for long term use. Women who have a family history of certain types of cancer may be discouraged from using it at all. Women who have had breast cancer are generally discouraged, as well.

Since many women can not take hormone replacement therapy or choose not to, researchers have evaluated some of the herbs and plants that were used historically to relieve hot flashes and other more severe menopause symptoms. Black cohosh, among others was found to be effective. To learn more about black cohosh and other alternatives to hormone replacement therapy, please visit the Menopause and PMS Guide.

About the Author:
Patsy Hamilton was a health care professional for over twenty years before becoming a freelance writer. Currently she writes informational articles focused on women’s health for the Menopause and PMS Guide. Visit us at http://www.menopause-and-pms-guide.com
Article Submitted On: October 26, 2006
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/

Monday, February 12, 2007

Develop Great Relationships Over A Lifetime

Relationships begin since we were born on this planet. It is not a couple relation that I mention. Actually, it is a relationship at birth with our mothers and our family members. An important part of life depends on how we develop our relationships with others. Perhaps, if we consider examples of this development, a better understanding will enable us to think more clearly before we interact with others.

In sport, a team requires close relationships to build a winning team. How far would the space programs have gotten without close working relationships? Would we marry without an excellent relationship with our partner?

When mature, many relate an emptiness that is often difficult to understand or comprehend if a relationship has not been established with our creator. This personal relationship will fill a void that no other can fill. This is the most important relationship of all in every life, for complete fulfillment and joy.

The purpose for these examples are to enhance our willingness and desire to work on developing meaning in our lives, our families, and our businesses to become better persons and better marketers with positive relationship building goals.

What important for relationships are integrity or honesty, trust, and a willingness to open ourselves to others and be examined.

Have you ever seen failure? Perhaps it was caused by the lack of trust or integrity in another. Can relationship building with other persons prevent failure? Would your business become more successful with many great relationships? Think on these statements and make the adjustments in your life that you feel may improve your disposition.

These basic groundwork ideas on relationships are written to jog thinking and perhaps increase your business skills until they direct you to where success in business is inevitable and joy in your work becomes a normal lifestyle.

You may find varied and rotating articles on relationship building on our website, along with tips you can possibly use for your business.

Many times along the path of life, failures occur. It is good news to recognize and know the importance of earning good relationships during these trials and to be well prepared for the needed improvements.

Be prepare for every outcomes whether it good or bad!

About the Author:
Mary Williams maintains a number of dating websites, including Interracial Dating, Latin Dating ,and Online Dating.
Article Source: Free Articles Directory

Sunday, February 11, 2007

FAQs Of The Client/Virtual Assistant Relationship And VA Services

In this age of high-technology it is very simple to conduct business virtually. However, when the term "Virtual Assistant" or “VA” is first heard, it is unclear how business is actually conducted on a day-to-day basis. This article serves to provide insights into the logistics of the client/Virtual Assistant relationship and the diverse services offered by a VA.

1. How does the Client/VA relationship work?

Professional VA's provide administrative, technical, creative, and financial support in short- or long-term collaborative relationships with their clients. Advances in technology make it simple to conduct business over the Internet, and via e-mail and telephone without the need to meet in person. You contact them when a need arises, either securing services by the hour or a monthly contract based on a minimum amount of hours per month.

How you work together will depend largely on your project and your preferences. It is unique in each circumstance. You will establish initial contact with a detailed conversation about your company and your project, and between you and your VA you will develop a style that is comfortable for both parties.

2. How do I submit my materials to you?

When projects are initially discussed, a plan will be established for the best method to transmit materials. For instance, you might simply need a document typed or formatted, in which case you can submit it via FAX, e-mail, regular mail (USPS) or expedited delivery (FedEx/UPS). It is typed, saved in the finished format you requested, and returned to you. Your VA delivers finished goods in many ways depending on the needs of each client.

3. I don't have a project, per se. What I DO have is a project/company that's out of control. Can you help?

Yes! VA's are experts at providing an objective perspective to help you find your way out of an unruly project or situation. They will listen to your needs, ask questions, prioritize, and reformulate your approach. They can develop a better way for you to do what you're already doing. They resolve issues of all shapes and sizes!

4. I have been in business for many years. I need a "fresh" perspective on my approach to dealing with certain aspects of my business. Is that something you do as well?

Absolutely! VA's are creative, and have been involved in many facets of business for years. Based on that experience, they will definitely have suggestions for you. They can guide you toward what will work best in your situation, and suggest more efficient ways to go about doing business.

5. I have a list of projects that need attention! Can you help me prioritize and motivate me in the direction of actually getting things accomplished?

Not only do VA's offer expertise based on experience, they are happy to serve in other - on-tangible or inspirational - ways as well. They enjoy the benefits of collaborative relationships built over time and as they get to know you and your business, it makes sense that they can offer beneficial insights and support.

6. I have a one-time project that will take about an hour. Is this something you do?

Sure! VA's assist clients with projects of many sizes and durations. Their business is to support you and meet your specific needs, no matter the size.

7. I am just starting my business and don't know exactly what I need to do first. I don't even know the questions to ask to get the information I need! How frustrating! What can you do to help me?

First off, your VA understands your position because with as many entrepreneurial/business endeavors as they have been involved with over the years, they have been there themselves! A typical consultation will consist of a thorough overview of how you came to be where you are. Next, you will have a discussion of short- and long-term goals, and then move to creating a plan that you can implement beginning today! Doesn't that sound manageable?

8. I have an idea to mail a promotional postcard to my client list of over 500 contacts. I don't know where to begin and have too many other demands on my time to learn the process. Will you manage this project from start-to-finish?

Depending on the services offered by your VA, they may possess the expertise to take this project from your hands today and mail or email you a sample of the finished product! Whether it is a mailer or email message with graphics, you will have peace-of-mind in knowing that your capable VA will manage your project to the tiniest detail!

And, if your VA doesn't have expertise in a specific area, s/he will certainly be able to provide a referral to another qualified VA who possesses the skill(s) to perform the service you need.

9. Will you invest about an hour to do some research for me? I just heard of a new product and need to find out more.

Based on long-term affiliations in certain industries and with specific expertise, your VA has access to information that many times is as close as a telephone call! They would be happy to check with their personal sources, as well as tap into the knowledge base of anyone they might know who can help--saving you many hours of research! They can also get online and search the world!

10. I have an idea for a new product, but I need some market research information to decide if this is really the next big trend.

There is a new trend on the horizon in any given moment! Business changes so rapidly to meet the needs of consumers that it is incumbent on us to perform due diligence. Your VA will be happy to assist you by researching new trends or discussing new trends within the industry of their expertise.

As you can see, there are many facets to the Client/VA relationship. As the relationship develops over time, a dynamic grows of mutual respect and support that richly enhances both entrepreneurs.

All rights reserved.

About the Author:
Charlon Bobo is a Professional Virtual Assistant and founder of Muse works™, a dynamic trend-setting Virtual Assistant enterprise in Southern California that caters to the niche needs of entrepreneurs in the handmade beauty industry. http://www.museworks.org
Article Source: www.iSnare.com

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Learning To Let Go With Love

One of the hardest things for any person, man or woman, is letting go of a relationship that's not meant to be. We are often attached to the illusion that this person is "the One" for us, and that if we don't have him or her, we'll never find somebody new.

Holding on to disappointment, hurt, blame, anger, resentment, and bitterness, we convince ourselves that "all men are jerks" or "all women are bitches."

If you've just got out of a relationship and are harbouring a lot of resentment against your partner or against the opposite sex, now is NOT the time to start dating again. Your anger and bitterness will poison even the most loving relationship.

When we hang on to baggage from past relationships, we end up projecting our pain on to others in our lives, our families, children and, eventually, our new partners.

Our emotional baggage is usually rooted in our relationships with our own parents, or in bad relationships we've had in the past. We have to lighten our load and heal our pain before we can love again.

Some of the practices you need to cultivate in order to heal yourself are:

· Radical Personal Responsibility: Take responsibility for the role you played in your relationship, either by taking inappropriate action, not acting altogether or expecting too much. Stop blaming your partner. Own your feelings, so you can change them.

· Self-Awareness: Are there patterns that keep repeating in your relationships? Do you have a tendency to get into relationships with abusive people, or become abusive yourself? Become mindful of your reactions to people and situations. Learn to identify your patterns, and the unhealthy beliefs that are causing them.

· Acceptance: Accept yourself and your partner the way you are. Accept the fact that the relationship was not meant to be, that it didn't work because it was not your highest and best.

· Forgiveness: Learn to forgive yourself for all the damage that your anger and pain may have caused, and forgive others for being human and acting out their own anger and pain.

· Gratitude: Be grateful that you're out of a bad relationship, so you can be with someone better suited to your needs. Be grateful for all the lessons you've learned from your partner.

· Compassion: Learn to look at all people as human beings dealing with their own pain. Spend some time seeing the world through their eyes and you'll become less judgmental.

· Detachment: Learn to let go of unhealthy attachments to people, things and situations.

· Independence: Stop expecting other people to give you the love and acceptance you should be giving yourself. Learn to meet your own needs, let go of expectations, and enter a healthy, inter-dependent relationship.

· Optimism: Optimism is not essential, but it makes life so much easier. An optimistic outlook, positive attitude and belief that everything happens for the best, can help you bounce back from your loss. Have faith that the best is yet to come.

It takes a lot of tears, hard work, and introspection to break the chains of the past. But it's worth every moment! The feeling of freedom and contentment that you experience is just awesome.

Getting rid of your anger and hurt will help you stop blaming others for your pain, and allowed you to see your former partner as they really are, a wonderful, sensitive human being with the capacity to love, to care, and to hurt just as deeply as you.

It will allow you to love life again, to see the beauty in every experience, to be non-judgmental and open to new relationships.

No time spent in a relationship is ever wasted. Ever experience is a lesson and only when you learn the lesson will you progress to the next level. So stop beating yourself up over all the years you "wasted" with that "loser."

If it didn't work, it was probably not meant to be. You can't force someone to love you, just as you can't force commitment or marriage. These are stages that should happen naturally, when it feels right for both people.

Contrary to popular opinion (and sad love songs) love is not meant to hurt. If you're in pain, what you're experiencing is not love, but attachment or codependence. Too often we fall in love, not with our partner, but with the IDEA of being in love.

It's best to let go of a relationship that's causing too much pain. Instead of wallowing in the past and writing your own sad love song, do your inner work, get rid of the anger and disappointment and get on with your life.

Let go of your partner with love, so you can move past your hurt and learn to love again.

About The Author:
Priya Shah writes about self-improvement and women's empowerment. Click here for relationship tips and advice.
Content Provider: http://www.my-articles.com

Friday, February 09, 2007

Friendship and Sharing

We are all social animals. Not many of us think about prisons. Why is prison life a punishment? Because you cannot move around and meet people. With friendship, we break the barrier that stops us sharing our life with others. During early childhood, only mother is enough. But observe the pain on the face of a child who has no friends to play with, and you will realize why friends are so important? Why does even a small child need friends? He/she can surely play with parents and enjoy life? Friends are needed because most of them are from the same age group and we relate better with people of our age group. Give it a thought.

Many of us carry a childhood friendship in our adult life. That gives us an opportunity to share memories of the childhood spent together. That's why, when we meet a old childhood friend after a long time, we love to go back to our memories. We go back to those days, when things were much better. One is also known by the friends one keeps. What does this mean? This means that people of similar taste become better friends. That is a big advantage of friendship. To share thoughts about things of common interest.

Many times, some things in our life, some incidents etc. cannot be shared with anyone but friends. A friend will understand our problem and not lecture us about mistakes. A friend will be with us and will always be for us. That is friendship. Good friends share every thing in their life including the intimate details, and one who has such friends is very lucky. To share is very important. To talk, to discuss, to exchange ideas, to smile, to laugh and to cry together, we need friends. If we have good friends, we should always take care of the friendship and make the bond stronger. A friendship lost is a very big loss. We cannot go back to childhood days and make friends again. Value friends, and value the friendship as a treasure.

Connect with friends with love and care. Send them some ecards from time to time to share your care. Build and share your friendship. Treasure it.

About the Author:
The author, C.D.Mohatta writes for screensavers and wallpapers. He also writes text for ecards and quizzes. You can view and enjoy his work in screensavers and wallpapers. Also send free ecards and enjoy solving fun quiz cards.
Article Source: http://www.articles2k.com

Thursday, February 08, 2007

6 Steps To Help Women Overcome Impotence In Their Relationship

Male impotence, transient erectile problems and premature ejaculation can occur at some time or other in all relationships. When this happens it not only affects the man, but also the woman feels distress. Any sexual dysfunction, including premature ejaculation can deprive the woman of sexual pleasure and cause personal and psychological distress as well.

But there are steps couples can take to overcome male impotence and improve their relationship. There's no need to try to ignore sexual dysfunctions or suffer in silence when there are ways of achieving satisfying sexual relations for both of you. Just follow these six steps as reported by "Andromeda Andrology Center, and "Osbon Medical Foundation," of Georgia.

1. Admit the effects of impotence on you and your relationship

2. Consider your physical and psychological health

3. Explore the relationship factors that predict successful treatment

4. Learn about the causes and treatments for impotence

5. Discuss this problem with your mate and determine your true sexual needs

6. Seek medical consultation

The first step, of course, is admitting there's a problem. As the two of you think about your sexual relationship, try to understand the influence that impotence has had on both of you. Then together decide on how you a plan to approach it and what you're going to do to help one another cope and better your sexual relationship.

Feelings, thoughts, and behaviors in relation to any sexual dysfunctions will have an effect on both your physical and psychological well being. A case in point is Ellen and Paul. Since undergoing triple by-pass surgery a year ago, their sex life has dwindled.

Ellen decided to do something about it, planning a special night together, ensuring there'd be no distractions or interruptions. "I'd been looking forward to this special time together to share a fulfilling, intimate experience," explains Ellen. "But in spite of my caresses and cuddling, Paul couldn't seem to respond. The more I tried, the more anxious we both became."

Any woman in a relationship with an impotent man can relate to this experience. It's not just the man who suffers, the woman does, too. Women begin to think about possible reasons for their partner's sexual dysfunction and wonder if they're to blame.

Women have many of the exact same concerns as men do in regard to impotence. That's why it's also important to talk to one another about what may be causing the sexual dysfunction.
In approximately 85% of cases, male impotence is caused by something physical, that can be diagnosed and in most instances is treatable, with some even curable. So it's important for men to see a doctor and have a medical consultation.

It's important to discuss what both partners need from their sexual relationship. Today in society we're conditioned to think and behave a certain way in regard to sexual behavior. What you feel sexually when faced with an impotent partner, and what you believe you're supposed to be thinking and feeling can be two very different things.

It's important for men to remember their partner may be having the same frustrating feelings they're having. But good communication can help straddle the hurdle of impotence and sexual dysfunctions while working together to become a team again.

About The Author:
Norman Hem is the CEO of 4naturalhealth.net, a leading global authority on all natural health and enhancement products. To download instantly the FREE controversial report, "What Drugs Companies Don't Want You Too Ever Know, About male impotence!" please visit http://www.sutrapryl.com
Posted: 28-09-2006
Article Source: ArticlesBase.com

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

How To Resolve Relationship Conflicts

One minute you seem like lovesick turtledoves teasing, laughing and giggling with all your might. Then a few minutes later, you begin yelling and berating each other and a lover's quarrel is already in progress. A little bantering was all it took to stoke up a rising emotional tension.

Every now and then, no matter how close and intimate a couple is, an argument occasionaly looms to create a tide in the relationship. Although sometimes it shakes a relationship down to its very core, if handled well, it is healthy and can help create lasting relationships. Here is a list of what couples like you usually argue about and what you should do whenever you are faced with another petty bickering.

Jealousy

Jealousy is a natural human emotion. It is not negative in itself. How people react to jealous feelings make it negative.

Usually, jealousy stems from the lack of trust or lack of assurance from one's partner. It can also come from a low self-image or an inferioriy complex. If you're the jealous one, learn to act by reason and not by emotion. Your jealousy is just a product of your own mental-emotional patterns that only exist in your head. Just because your lover admired something about another person, does not mean that you are loved any less, or that the person is more attractive than you are. Voice out how you feel to your partner so that you can discuss things and he can help you alleviate your jealousy. If your partner is the green-eyed monster, assure him of your devotion and reassure him of his innate worth as your love mate. Perhaps your partner needs more attention and affection than you are giving him.

Individual Differences

When you first met, it may be the similarities you found with each other that instantly created the bond and rapport. However, as you knew each other better, it's your differences that potentially fashioned the strength of your relationship. Hence, it is important that you value the differences that make you unique as a couple. Perhaps, there might be times when you may want to change your partner into your view of his potential. But even if you'd succeed in your crusade, chances are you'd lose respect for him for allowing you to have done it and for not having the personal strength to be himself. So it is better that you both learn to compromise and meet halfway everytime a conflict surges. Be ready to recognize each other's weaknesses and learn to appreciate what the other has to offer. Instead of seeing yourselves as separate individuals, practise seeing each other as an aspect of yourselves. In this way you shatter the illusion of separation and bridge the gap that's keeping you asunder.

Unmet Expectations

When a dispute recurs but too many times like a bad case of athlete's foot but you have no clue as to what's really causing the problem, odds are it was because your partner did not meet your expectations or he didn't meet yours. When expectations are not met, a spat usually ushers in. Depending on the expectations you may want to concede in your relationship, it is highly commendable that you bring your expectations upfront from the very start of the relationship. Determine which expectations are most important to you and which are most important to your partner. Spend some time tossing around what you both desire and need from the relationship and what you must have and won't tolerate from each other. Remember, love works best when it involves both give and take.

You're-Wrong-I'm-Right Attitude

Instincts often tell us not to give up and admit defeat in times of disagreements especially if we are certain that we are right. But come to think of it, does it really matter who's right and who's not? In a relationship, it is never good to assert too much if it means you could hurt your partner. Let go of having to "be right!" If you must speak up, do it lovingly. Never tell your partner that he is wrong straight in the face. If you do this, you may just stir a storm in a teacup and set about a violent outburst. Instead of having to be RIGHT, decide between your mate that it is more important to be HAPPY. Discuss in a loving way areas of mutual concern then agree on certain terms so that you prevent yourselves from meshing with future disagreements.

Money Matters

When you're going through the honeymoon phase of your relationship, money may not be much of an issue. Nonetheless, as the relationship progresses, power struggles and control issues around money may just start surfacing. This creates tension that if not resolved, can put a serious damper on the relationship. Where critical differences exist in your financial expectations, try to negotiate. Work out a way of managing your finances that gives you both some control. In any case, if one is earning more than the other, he/she shouldn't hold all the control because even if the other is contributing less in the financial aspect, that does not mean he/she is contributing any less in other areas of the relationship. Over all of this, if there are still issues, sit and talk things over. Discussion and cooperation may not confer instant solutions to difficult financial issues, but knowing you and your partner agree about how to approach the situation will help maintain the zing in your relationship.

Arguments by nature are difficult and can even be hurtful and frustrating. And yet, they are a normal natural aspect of any relationship. Like the salt to meat dishes, they add flavor to the lives of couples and help build better relationships. On the other hand, if disputes are handled poorly, they can also potentially wreck a strong relationship. So, in order to avoid this, every disagreement should be carefully handled in a way that would boost relationship satisfaction and pave the way for new growth together. Truly, it's fun to fight and make up (and out) after knowing you have worked together through it all.

© 2005 Rachelle Arlin Credo. All rights reserved.

About the Author:
Rachelle Arlin Credo is a freelance writer and web columnist from the Philippines. She writes on a variety of topics for print and online publications. Feel free to check her website at http://www.rachelle.co.nr
Article Source: www.iSnare.com

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

To End or Not to End Your Relationship?

You're wondering if you want to stay with your partner. You feel lonely, misunderstood, frustrated, and you're not sure how to change that. His behavior confuses you. Most of the time he's angry, but sometimes he's very kind. He doesn't help you with the household very often, but this morning he did put the garbage out. He doesn't seem to care much about your work, but yesterday he suddenly asked if you like your job. He's always out with his friends, but now he surprised you with a romantic dinner.

You're trying hard to figure out whether it's better to stay or to leave, but you're not making any progress. The more you think about it, the more confused you are. You are losing sleep, and the sleep you do get is patchy and restless. You're swinging back and forth between staying or leaving. One moment you're convinced he's a bad choice and you'd better leave him, but the next moment you get anxious and afraid that you won't manage on your own. You are looking for reasons to stick it out, telling yourself that "it's not that bad, he doesn't drink, my sister's husband is much worse," or "I have to compromise, everybody has to bear his cross, perfect relationships don't exist," and so on.

These one-liners won't help you out, not even a tiny bit, and neither will all of your friends' opinions. Every friend you share your problem with will offer you their own particular piece of advice, according to his or her current situation and belief system.

You are at a loss. What to do? Where to turn? Your head can't help you because, as a logical executive, your brain is not equipped to resolve problems of the heart. Your brain can't get you out of this terrible gridlock, simply because it's a heart matter. You won't need your brain functions until after having come to a decision.

How can you hear what your heart is telling you? How can you be sure you're making the right decision? Follow the advice below and find out!

Rather than focusing on your problems, instead focus on your mission on Earth. Rather than obsessing over your relationship and desperately trying to find a solution, instead concentrate on yourself and on the reason of your being here on Earth. Occupy yourself with your life goals. You don't have any? Then setting up your goals will be the first step to take! You don't know what you are living for? Then this will be your first priority: to find out who you are, why you are here and what your specific mission here on earth is about.

Focus on yourself and your mission. If you are not clear about your mission here on Earth, then start by actively searching for your purpose. Find out! Grab a book or an Internet course and discover your reason of being on Earth here and now.

You already know your mission? Then increase the focus on your personal goals and do all it takes to achieve them. You don't know how to do this? Learn it! There are plenty of courses available on the Internet or in any library, that will guide you step by step towards the realization of your dreams.

So stop focusing on your relationship, stop driving yourself crazy running around in circles and get to work at what really matters in life: you, your mission, your passion, your specific talents and what you came here to do. I can assure you that as you focus on what really matters, very soon you will acquire a new, clear perspective on everything in your life, including your relationship.

A good relationship is one that supports you in the pursuit of your mission and dreams. A bad relationship is one that disregards your dreams, keeps you from them, or laughs at you when you set out to achieve your goals.

Don't focus on your partner or your problems. Focus on your talents, discover them, develop them, and offer them to the world. Let's say you are wondering whether you will stay with your partner. Well, instead of torturing yourself with this question, ask yourself what you are here for, and find that out first! What excites you? What did you like to do as a child? What gives you an energy boost? Which activity feels natural to you? What is it that you accomplish without effort? Go do it! Attend workshops that further develop your talents. Become an expert in what you are already good at. If you don't know what that is, then now is the time to go find out!

Focus on your mission and see what happens to your relationship. A good relationship will help you on your way. A bad relationship will try to hold you back. See what happens and make your decision.

About the Author:
Written by Ineke Van Lint, psychologist. My goal is to help you achieve success and happiness. Accomplish your mission on earth and love yourself. Two free e-courses at http://www.theenthusiasm.com
Added: 23 Aug 2006
Article Source: http://articles.simplysearch4it.com/article/34781.html

Monday, February 05, 2007

Relationship Advice: Start Over

Fights are the spice of life. Have you ever seen a relationship that goes without an argument, difference of choice or difference in opinion? Imagine a relationship with no fights, no arguments and no difference in choices. Doesn't it sound unrealistic! If you think it to be true and have seen such couples then there can be two possibilities either the partners are not honest with each other or they do not belong to this world. Actually the truth is that every relationship does face fights and conflicts.

It has been rightly said "no life without spice". No relationship looks complete without these fights, arguments and difference in choices. Yet at times this flavor gets a little too much and spoils the recipe of life. There are few or perhaps no way to restore the spoilt dish but there is always a way out to rebuild a spoilt relationship.

In the beginning every relationship is bliss. The relationship is sweet, sugary, beautiful and loveable. You seem to have entered in heaven. Everything is exciting and new. You love everything in your partner. The dress up, the talks, the habits and everything your partner does and visa versa. But as time passes you start finding faults with each other. You don't like his or her outfit and you don't find his or her talk interesting any more. There is a long list of "I don't like about you". You are doing nothing but nagging each other. It is very easy to break of a relationship and very difficult to maintain it but it is much more difficult to start over with the broken relationship. Yet it is very important to start over with a broken relationship especially when you have the responsibilities of your children.

Start over again. What all you need to do is, to have patience and be forgiving. Forgive and start afresh. Try and find faults with you and it will be easy for you to forgive. Forgiveness heals the wound and tolerance enhances the depth of your relationship. It is amazing to fall in love but at the same time it is like being in hell when you split apart. Therefore it is a must to save your relation to be in heaven all your life. And for that you have to revitalize your relationship and get that excitement back. Remember the moments that made you both happy, remember what he/she loved most about you. Make an effort to revive those moments back.

Don't run off but face the problem no matter how tensed the situation is. You have to stick together as it is involves you, your partner and your family. You have to take a step forward and make your partner understand the fault between both of you, you have to sit together and sort out problems between the two of you. Try to do things that bring excitement in your life. Improving your relationship is not a long process. It is a single little step taken by you does wonders. You will find your relationship blooming beautifully as ever.

But if things are very grave, your partner is violent and you are 100% sure that you cannot move with the relationship any further, then there is no need to stick along in remorse and pain. You can always start all over again. Off course it is difficult to forget the past and it is an obstacle in your way to a new relationship. What you need to do is to give time to yourself, involve in hobbies and activities that please you. Socialize, or do something creative that releases your heart from the pain you are going through. After a period of time you yourself will want to start a new relationship with no previous fears and pains. The bereavement including shocks, pain anger all disappear when you give space to yourself and believe in yourself.

Find more information visit: Relationship advice: start over

About The Author:
Annie williams
We at Keepcondom.com are providing you the choices you can make, to select your condom brands according to your needs. Keepcondom.com
Submitted: 2006-10-28
Article Source: GoArticles

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Questions about Love, Life and the Laws of Nature - Making Relationships Last

Q:

You describe yourself as an “ordinary Aussie bloke.” Did your upbringing in "the bush" contribute to your receptivity to The Laws of Nature?

A:

When I say ordinary Aussie bloke, I mean that we Australian men seem able to laugh at ourselves. We don’t take things too seriously unless it’s about protecting our home or a mate in trouble. It’s the Aussie spirit. It’s unique in its light-hearted goodness. My upbringing in the bush was very much about trust. My step mum beat the crap out of me daily, the kids at school thought I was a weirdo (I moved to the bush from a little green, friendly and isolated country town in Tasmania that no one had ever heard of in this tough and rough bush environment). Poor old Dad was busting his chops working to try to overcome his grief from my mother’s death (I was two and a half years old and was beside her in a car when she died.)

Living amongst this kind of chaos, a kid searches for their own source of comfort and love (the Laws of Nature say that nothing is missing in life). I found comfort and love by the riverbank, playing in the bush, hanging out with Aboriginal kids that no other white person trusted. It was here that I learned not to trust words, just people. So, Nature was Mum for me. I felt her spirit in trees and rivers and branches and food that came from the earth. I felt her spirit in the wind and in the hot sun, her warm heart. This was how I learned to love. I learned to love by loving the earth

Q:

At what point in your life did you become aware of The Laws of Nature? Was it a process or more of a single moment of clarity you had upon reading about them?

A:

I went through a hell of my own in the midst of a divorce. My three beautiful children sailed off on a yacht with their Mum and her new love. I really went down the tubes after that. I did therapy and Zen and yoga and more Zen and danced with Native American people all over the place. But ten minutes after I did any healing, the pains would come back. Something would remind me of my children and bingo, there I was, angry, sad and resentful.

I trekked in Nepal and many parts of the world alone, trying to find my own heart. I lost it, and the soul that feeds it, or so I thought, so I just went back to nature, to Mum, to be nurtured. One day I was looking at the sunrise. The moon was also in the sky. On this beautiful morning I got lost in thought. I drifted to the place where I was when the kids were born. When I watched them hatch into this world I just felt a miracle happen in me. So, sitting on the beach, I was back in that energy. I was so filled with tears and so happy. I looked at the moon and I realized I was in the same universe as my kids, in the same atmosphere as my kids, in the same realm of love with them. We were connected, inseparable and suddenly I was home again! I jumped up and started to dance like a mad man, I could see there was nothing to heal. All the healing had failed because there was nothing to heal. For the first time, I knew the formula for love. I had always mixed up my expectations of doing something good -- being a good father, providing, nurturing and caring – with love. Love is what nature does. She doesn’t care if you are here or gone, she loves. And there it was, the breakthrough. I separated emotion, expectation, philosophy, religion, beliefs and all that mumbo jumbo of complexity from real love.

Then I went back over all my studies of religion, the mysteries, metaphysics and poetry, and I just asked myself: “what’s behind these?” That’s when I became aware that behind every single expectation, emotion, philosophy and religion are five undisputable and universal Laws of Nature. They’re universal because from the smallest molecular structure to the widest galaxy these laws exist. And I found these laws written in ancient texts. And now it’s my job to bring them to others.

Q:

What is it about you that makes you an ideal messenger for The Laws of Nature? What personal strengths help with the delivery of your message?

A:

None. Really. It’s totally not about the messenger…but there is one thing that makes me a little different from the average person selling love potions, and self-help blab, blab, blab. I don’t care about my approval rating. I say it as it is. The Howard Stern of the spiritual world. As an Aussie bloke I tell it as it is. I don’t mind a good fight, and I am not interested in shoving the message down people’s throat. I guess I am a good messenger for a message that says “BE REAL,” but a million other people could do it, if they had the conviction and the certainty.

Q:

Can you describe a Law of Nature?

A:

The first Law of Nature is balance. It says: positive thinking people are negative thinking people. There can’t be an upper without a downer. Positive thinking must be met with balance. We tend to look at life really selfishly, like “what is right for me?” I agree that positive is best for me, but I can’t then condemn all the negativity in my lover, or my business partner, and run around saying, “Oooh you are so negative.” No, I can say “Welcome to my world and have a beautiful day – thank you for expressing what I am repressing. Thank you for carrying the negativity that frees me to express my positivity.” You know 50 % of the world is yin, and 50% is yang. You go yang, someone goes yin. Simple isn’t it?

There are two sides to everything and everyone. We are all sinners and angels and worthy of love for it. We can’t change, we can only put a mask on and why do that? People become as you treat them, so I suggest that my students always look for both sides of everything and don’t get self indulgent and deluded by believing half-truths. For loving and good life, balance the positive and the negative firmly, then focus on the positive.

Q:

On your Web site you say that you can't change yourself or another person, you can only help someone appreciate who they really are, and help them to express their authenticity in the healthiest way and to make choices that support "their way." Is this a Law of Nature?

A:

No, this is a consequence of a Law of Nature. Laws of Nature do not dictate how people should and shouldn’t act. That’s the realm of religion and psychology. I call that mumbo jumbo mainly because I find it all so complex, opinionated and diverse in its translation. I am not a psychologist or a philosopher. With my mind I’d go mad trying to sort out right from wrong! No the Laws of Nature do not prescribe behavior. They do, however, set down principles from which we can see what is causing us to go loopy -- they reveal the emotion and myths that run our lives.

There is nothing missing in our lives. We are everything we want to be. It’s just that sometimes what we’ve got and what we want are in conflict because we got our wealth in love and we want it in money. Now, what we don’t appreciate we lose, so a person who is really wealthy in love, walking around wanting to change their life is fine, but if they are saying, “oooh I am so poor,” but they are really very abundant in love wealth (nothing is ever missing, just changes in form) then they may also lose their love life. See, it’s a matter of contentment. If we can say “thank you” for what we have, we get what we want. The form can change, not the content. We can change love dollars for Australian dollars, or our health Yen for Japanese Yen. Easy.

Q:

Can you briefly describe the 5 great keys to lifelong happiness?

A:

This is how we all think. We think if I know the 5 Laws of Nature, I will have lifelong happiness. But that is absolutely mumbo jumbo…. Life long happiness is a marketing campaign proposed by people like myself, the Buddhists and most new age gurus to sell books, get audiences and win a good bank balance. But there is really nothing that can cause life long happiness. Life is not about being happy all life long, but we don’t know this. So we buy the books, believe the marketing, go to the workshops, join the religions, and in most cases, judge the people who cause us discomfort.

Really, this is where the buck must stop, with people like me. The Laws of Nature, on the other hand, argue that:

  • You are going to have an equal balance of happy times and sad times
  • If you don’t appreciate the sad times, they get worse
  • Evolution happens at the border of happy and sad
  • We never find the balance between these two, we cycle like a drunk staggering down the street from one side to the other
  • The person who is looking for all peace, all happiness, all goodness in their relationship or work life is a fool. They are drunker than the rest of us. That person will stagger between extremes. They’ll be more emotionally shocked when their hard-won peace and tranquility gets disturbed by reality.

The Laws of Nature simply reveal the lies that marketers promote, and the delusion that people try to manifest in their lives -- that there can’t be any existence in any walk of life without challenge and discomfort.

That’s humility. Staying thankful for the small things means you don’t get complacent and think that you are infallible. In a relationship this is even more critical. The time to invest in humble gratitude is when things are going well, not when they are down and out. When things are up, there is the unseen down. You need to be humble to these Laws of Nature then you don’t get shocks.

Q:

You say that Happiness come from contentment and contentment comes when you stop trying to be someone else. Was there a time in your life when you found yourself trying to be something you weren't or have you always managed to make good lifestyle choices for yourself?

A:

I still try to be someone else. I am not content all the time. Crikey! don’t put me on the pedestal and say that I can practice all I teach 24/7. No way. I go up and down just as nature has warm days and storm days. But, the big difference is that when I become unhappy or unhealthy I know I have gone against one of the Laws of Nature. Unhappiness for me only comes when I don’t like who I am and I try to fix it, which just make matters worse. If I am unhappy, unlike a lot of people who think they’ve made a bad decision or need to fix themselves, I say the opposite. Instead of therapy or self-help, I believe I am worthy of love for who I am, and the only person who needs to know that is me. Nothing needs to change, only something to appreciate. What you appreciate grows and what grows is happy.

Q:

You say that your message is not about "self help." I think of self-help as people writing or talking about a topic they know well and me learning. I take from books and lectures the "pearls of wisdom" that resonate for me. What is your definition of self-help? Isn't your goal to help people and corporations to look inward in order to better express themselves in the world?

A:

Yes, I guess you are right. But the self-help industry is so filled with people who learned to be a yoga teacher last week and wrote a book this week. Our industry is the most unregulated, dangerous, self-proclaiming, money-spinning messing-with-people industry on earth. You need a license to give someone a massage. But you can mess with people’s hearts, minds and spirit if you just say “Oh, I am a native blood, therefore I have wisdom” or “I am Chinese therefore I am Tao” or “I am completely disconnected from reality, therefore I can sell books on angels.” You must see this yourself -- there are as many good results from self-help as bad… I think self-help leads to self-obsession, and self-obsession is about being loved, being lovable, being good, being happy. And the truth is none of those things ever made one human being happy. Helping others, loving others, loving beauty, appreciating people, this makes us happy because in doing that we forget our “self.” My favorite quote says to effect that self-help doesn’t work. It can’t, because the ultimate end is to discover there is no self, and therefore nothing needs help.

Q:

I love your statement that "people become as you treat them, and what you appreciate grows." One of the reasons awareness resonates so strongly for me is that I've found you can't appreciate what you don't notice! Does this idea fit in with what you meant?

A:

I’ve noticed, that if I don’t notice what is noticeable, then I get put on notice that my notice is not enticing. This is a very strong observation that you make. One that I think we can all learn from.

The forth Law of Nature is appreciation. So, I fill my head and heart with appreciation. Now, the complexity is that sometimes stuff happens and you don’t appreciate it, instead you want to run away from it, or fix it. But bloody hell, how far can you run? You can run all the way to Nepal, and still find the things that were annoying you in Sydney, or New York or in a commune, or in an ashram in India. Annoyance about things we don’t appreciate follows us.

When we talk about personal growth, most people measure this personal growth in how happy, wealthy, healthy, smart, or in control they are. This is not how nature measures growth. Nature measures growth by how much doesn’t annoy you. I know this is really weird language, but sometimes it’s great to put things in the negative.

Growth is not a gravitation toward the positive, it is the development of an appreciation for the negative. You are nature and all that you are is worthy of appreciation. We can’t run from those things we hate, we must learn to appreciate them, not change them.

Q:

Your vision is huge! It just feels like it takes such an expanded spirit to hold all those important, world-shifting intentions: to communicate the message of modern well-being, to transform educational systems, to inspire a new global perspective, etc. Can one person really do all these things? How do you keep so many big intentions present in your everyday life?

Frankly, I have no idea. The thing for me is about my intent. Each day I want to wake up and just burst with enthusiasm to get out of bed, do things that motivate me to give to others and be inspired. I am not interested in being depressed, or a victim of the system, or spending my whole precious life complaining that MacDonald’s hamburgers made me fat. I have a gift, if I die with it still inside, I’ll be pissed.

Edited by Melsia Wadsworth

Learn more about Chris Walker at his Web site www.ChrisWalker.com.au

About The Author:
Chris Walker who is is a world leading change agent, an environmentalist and author of more than 20 books. Born and bred in Australia, he consults to people and organisations throughout the world on improved relationships, health and lifestyle through the application of the Universal laws of Nature. The result he offers is that we stay balanced, share loving relationships, work with passion, enjoy success, and live our personal truth. To learn more about Chris’s work and journeys to Nepal, visit http://www.chriswalker.com.au
Article Submitted On: October 27, 2006
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Don't Ignore The Signs: How Emotional Infidelity Can Ruin Your Relationship

Emotional infidelity can start with a simple hi or a wink. It begins in a boardroom or a chatroom.
One spouse says, "What's the problem? We're only friends."

The other spouse can't believe the reassurances. So the jealousy builds and a wedge is driven between partners. Sometimes nothing really is going on, and sometimes an affair is in progress. It's only a matter of time.

So how can you tell if your spouse is a potential cheater? How can you stop a relationship from becoming romantic outside of your marriage? Here are five topics to think about before determining if your marriage is in the danger zone.

1. Secrecy: Do you feel as though your partner could be telling you more about his or her new friend? Or do you hide the details of your platonic relationship from your spouse? If so, why? It's best not to keep secrets from your partner, even if you think he or she will be hurt, angry or jealous. If you want a successful relationship, trust and honesty is the one factor for marriage that should not be compromised.

2. Displaced Trust: Is information that should only be shared between husband and a wife, shared outside of the relationship? Topics like sexual intimacy, irreconcilable differences, personal finances, and detailed accounts of your partner's shortcomings are best left within the constructs of your marriage relationship.

3. Comparing: Does your spouse compare you to friend(s) of the opposite sex often? Or do YOU feel as though your spouse could improve in the areas that your special friend excels? Comparing once or twice may not be a problem, but habitual comparison is a warning sign.

4. Time Management: What type of time do you spend together as a married couple? Is it mainly dutiful, like paying bills or going to conferences for the kids? Or do you actually date-- one-on-one, no kids, family or friends around? If not, and you find yourself, or your partner, engaged in date like activities outside of your relationship, stop it. Either invite your spouse or don't do it anymore. Coffee talk can turn to pillow talk in the blink of an eye.

5. Attraction: Do you feel as though your spouse like the way his/her special friend looks? Are you attracted to the way your friend looks or the way he/she does something? If so, address this issue with your partner and then try to refocus your attention on each other, rather than the outside party.

If three to five of these topics need to be addressed in your marriage, don't wait until it's too late. I urge you to get professional help either from your religious leader or from a professional counselor.

About the Author:
Keishia Lee-Louis is the Editor of http://www.Married4Good.com (Launching November 2005). Her work has appeared on iVillage.com, BibleResourceCenter.com, and in numerous printed publications. Currently, she is writing a book on marriage and relationships(Spring 2006). If you'd like to see more of her work, visit http://married4good.blogspot.com
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