Love Relationships with people from other cultures or countries

So, do relationships with people from other countries work? Well yes of course they do, but there are both advantages and disadvantages to consider when thinking about starting a relationship with someone from a different culture or country. It all depends on what you expect from someone else and whether they can give you what you expect - and whether you can meet their expectations too, of course. Here I'm thinking specifically about dating relationships, that is relationships that can lead to long term commitments such as marriage.

To begin with, whether any relationship anywhere works or not depends first and foremost on the individual personalities of the people in the relationship, and not on their culture or country. However, culture and country can have an influence on the relationship. For example, if someone from a particular culture has certain expectations of a marriage relationship (which expectations come from the way they have brought up and what they have been led to expect from such a relationship) then that may affect the relationship, however slightly. On the whole though, relationships depend upon the people in them, not where those people live or the country they come from.

Making a relationship with someone from another country or another culture can be very exciting. If you are a man you may feel as if you are dating all the beautiful women in that country, or perhaps one of the finest examples of a beautiful girl which that country can offer. A word of caution here. Relationships work at the individual level, so your relationship must be based on how well you get on with the personality of the individual woman concerned, and not the fact that she is either a) beautiful or b) from a certain country, culture or background.

Nevertheless, even allowing for this, a relationship with someone from another culture or country can be extremely exciting. The cultural background, visits to the other country, the language of the country and learning to speak it, the different habits and ways of doing and saying things that people from other cultures have are all very exciting indeed. A relationship can feed off these differences for some time, even for years, but as mentioned above, in the end the relationship must be founded on the same things all successful relationships are founded on, such as trust, mutual respect and understanding.

So what of the disadvantages of a love relationship with someone from another country or cultural background? The very obvious one, but something that still needs stating, is that if your relationship is to exist on a face-to-face level then one of you must live in the other's country - as simple as that. Aside from the practical problems of securing visas, resident status and so on, there are important emotional concerns here. Living in another country is exciting for the first year or two, but what happens when homesickness grows to the extent that you've had enough and just want to go home?

No matter how much you love your husband or wife, that longing for the home country will still be there. Of course this factor is reduced in some people and magnified in others, depending on their personal history and what their home country means to them. Some do find though that after a few years the ongoing background strain of living in what will always be at root an unfamiliar and alien country - however much they admire or love it - can become too much. Holidays and visits back home may not be enough (not to mention the ongoing cost of them) and the distance from family becomes too great. Any existing cracks in the relationship could then lead to separation and a return to the home country, whereas such 'cracks' might possibly have been successfully healed in a situation where both partners are living in their home country.

Sometimes we have no control over who we begin a love relationship with, it seems to just happen when we meet someone new and blossoms quickly out of our control. But if you are actually planning to find and begin a love relationship with someone from another country or culture -- because you love that country and find it an exciting place to visit, for example -- then you must go into this process with your eyes open, fully aware of the pitfalls as well as the advantages.

You must be prepared to live abroad if that's the way it turns out, limiting yourself to visits home and the possibility of not seeing family or close friends for long stretches at a time. And you must really be prepared to do these things, not just tell yourself that you are, because you are in love. Love changes over time, the initial excitement changes into a deep-rooted mutual respect, a different type of love, in the best relationships. In others it simply melts away. So be prepared, go in with your eyes open, be clear what your family and roots mean to you before you are prepared to leave them. But also be open to the great rewards a love relationship with someone from another country or culture can bring.

About the author:
Vince Appleby writes for InternationalPen Pal .com a site for pen pals and for those seeking a love relationship, at http://www.internationalpenpal.com/
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SacredLove - Building Long Term, Sexy, Loving, Powerful, Authentic Relationships that Last

Emotion is energy in motion. At its most primal level it swings between extremes right or wrong, attracted or repelled. Emotion is the opposite to love. Highly emotional people are living in the most fundamental of human consciousness, whether they are fighting for religious causes, or in a relationship fighting to be right. This is emotional unconsciousness; “I’ve got to” do this and “I have to” do that, which are very violent and polarised positions. But nature will not allow this for long.

Nature destroys anything that does not fulfil its purpose, and staying primal, highly emotional, is not fulfilling natures purpose. The result is illness, nervous tension, stress, burnout, depression, disease and relationship failure. Natures weapons are so numerous, and all of them point to emotional stuckness. People who refuse to grow.

The most common way to avoid growth that love brings is by using blame. This moral high ground, emotional reaction and high expectation sits a persons mind high above the rocky swamps of real life authenticity, and is designed to avoid the love that comes from open communication. To stay dry while all else is wet, to keep the ego fully intact, avoid dealing with the stories and beliefs that they are attached to, and blame (judge) others for causing how they feel. Like religious fundamentalism, it is simply an unwillingness to let go of beliefs that come from a primal consciousness and are extremely one sided. Stories.

The more willing you are to see two sides of the coin, the less righteous you will be, and the less emotional your swings of emotion. Instead of “I am right” you might say “maybe we both are right” or you might say “I admit that I can only see my side of the story, and therefore I am wrong” – These honest and authentic statements of confessed righteousness free a person from the cave from which their consciousness is coming from, and steps them out into the possible realm of love. Being right, is the opposite to being in love. Then, as your emotional swings get smaller and smaller, less energy is spent on being right, and more energy is spent on growing and staying in love.

So, we use challenges to grow love. Every time we get challenged (emotionally negative) we process it, and turn it into love. That way, we stay in the honeymood. We can’t just ignore the negative stuff because it builds up, causes abuse, and makes us resentful. We have to process the negative stuff so it doesn’t block our love. It is like moving sand through an hourglass. In the top is the ego. In the bottom is love. We take the experiences at the top, everyday emotion, and move them to love. The more we process through the hourglass, the bigger our love can be.

Emotions block love. No relationship, sacred or otherwise, can thrive when a couple considers their emotions a foundation, because then they can’t grow in love. You can’t base your relationship with someone you love on feelings and emotions. It is a disaster, and you are like a leaf blowing in the wind. The wind (emotions) blow you left, you go left and shut down, they blow you right, and you are infatuated and happy. It is like a little child in a candy shop. No love can last in that whirlwind of emotional drama.

This is the choice you have. You can love people, but not be prepared to enter a relationship with them. That is a friendship. You can love someone and enter a relationship with them, and this means facing the challenges that a relationship brings in order to stay in love. But if you expect to be in a relationship with someone, and not face your ego, not confront your expectations and be revealed in your own judgments, then you do not really want love. You want peace, and in relationship, like nature, peace brings disease.

To be in relationship and hold love you need to stay vigilant to your ego. For example, our ego might want to see our partner as only a kind person. Our ego, if we empower it, says this is a good thing. We feel pleasure and this causes us to have a happy emotion. The ego is happy, because there is kind without cruel. But is this real, sustainable, true love, or is it the ego creating the grounds for a disaster in our relationship? The answer is obvious, projections and hopes are not love, they are our expectations, and expectations block love.

Infatuations mean we have half truth ideals and these are our emotional projections onto our beloved. That is not a true love, not love at all, just our emotional projection. In other words, infatuations make us blind to real love. We take our stories, our religious expectations, we take our reactions to our parents and build a model of who we want to be in love with. Then we say we are in love if we think this person matches our made up model. This emotional infatuation means we are having an affair with a fantasy of our beloved, not really accepting them for who they are. We mistake it for love and the confrontation of those expectations is called “growth”.

Long term relationships cannot be based on this projection of fantasy, or delusion. In reality, all people have two sides. The more a person projects their “goodness” on you, the more they have mastered hiding their “badness”, however, in the long term it will surface. Some people learn how to hide their other side, and get under your “half life” radar. This radar is looking for half a person, the good half, and as long as your illusions are justified, you can love them. This is the emotional definition of love, but it is false love, not real. No man or woman is half. They only present half because your projection won’t let them in if they were real and showed you both halves. If they did, you would throw them out, because it would challenge your ideas, your expectations. You get what you want in the short term, the fantasy, but in the long term you get reality, and all your complaining, anger, blame and therapy won’t fix the problem. But there is no problem to fix except your illusion of real people.

To say, “I love you because you are kind”, is the ego speaking. Firstly, because kind has both good and bad in it, which you wont see until later. Secondly, you are assuming that there can be a half person in your life, kind but not unkind. So, we have half information and have an emotional upper. This is not love; it is a happy thought called the honeymoon. Sadly it will not last unless you are prepared to do some process on your expectations. There is nothing wrong with your beloved. You, your mind, your judgements, your expectations are at fault. You can blame them all you want, but this is not true love. And remember, how you treat others is how you treat yourself. How can you love yourself if you can’t accept yourself? You’ll end up your whole life in confession or asking forgiveness for being human. Is that self love, ashamed of who you really are?

This is emotional way of life is all very obvious when I take people trekking in the Himalayas of Nepal. They bring their way of thinking from back home, and try to apply it to walking up the side of steep hills. Their emotions take charge and at the bottom of the hill, they are enthusiastic, infatuated, brimming with excitement. But the hill is so long, that excitement turns to disbelief and frustration (the honeymoon is over). So, about 1 hour into the climb, the ego, being dualistic, swings to the other side, and our emotions “go downward”, to balance the “upward emotion” of the first hour. People start to complain about the whole stupid hill, the boots hurt, legs ache. When the ego goes into emotional resentment it uses blame so that it doesn’t feel stupid, and after 10 minutes blaming the bad path, the steep hill, neither of which really cares, they blame me.

Gradually the swings of emotion get shorter, from 1 hour down to 1 minute. An internal war begins, “Yes I can do it” to “No I can’t make it” and finally, every step, “Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.” The brain is going mad, swinging, and just when it is ready to surrender, something else comes over them. The ego gives up and the emotions fall away. That ego which drives us in city life is just no use here, and we get a sense of spirit, our second wind.

Similarly, we start in a relationship by committing to climb this magnificent journey together. We jump in, full of tingles and bubbles, phone calls and emails, poems and flowers. Then we begin to close down. Emotions become more challenging than we thought, so we fight with our ego to change things, everything. For the first few years we are infatuated with our beloved. That is quite normal. It drives our sexual energy because nature thinks you are having babies. But then, you get resentful.

Infatuation breeds resentment. So then for the next years you start resenting them. Then after seven years or so, which we call the 7 year itch, you feel real love, balanced love but not emotional love. You loose the infatuation so you think it’s over. But this is not over, you have finally found real love. Ambivalence means you have finally come the full circle, back to the beauty of authentic communion. Now you can have sacred love, because now it is not hormones racing, emotions infatuating, intellect projecting. Now, you can rest in love.

This means that to satisfy those primal elements of yourself, those elements that were so happy when you first met, you’ll need to create them consciously. You’ll need to know how to get your partner infatuated for a sexy night. You’ll need to know how to get hormones racing. This is romance and it the essential ingredient of a long term relationship. Infatuation might have kick started your love relationship, but when all that settles down to true love, then your primal desires and needs have to be fed consciously. They don’t go away, not even when you are 100 years old. Even then, a lover must know how to infatuate their beloved for a night.

It is inevitable in a relationship that is growing, that the infatuation that drove you together in the honeymoon period dies. This is not a time to part. No, it is a time to celebrate the beauty of a new level of love. Sacred Love. It has to because you want sacred love, not projections to bind you. But couples think because they are not excited by their lover, it is over. No, it is just ready to begin if we can get out of the cave consciousness and into sacred love.

So then, to grow in relationship, we can’t remain a victim of circumstance. Otherwise, we or our partner are going to end up complaining that the passion went out of it. We’ll be acting like cave people or like dogs, running around having affairs to keep our libido happy. Either that, or we simply resign ourselves to living an unromantic life. Dispirited at home and punishing everyone we know at work because of it. You don’t run, you grow and take the bull by the horns. You learn to create those romantic moments, you create little peaks of infatuation. In order to move deeper in love, you need to keep the primal parts of you happy so they can liberate you for higher love.

Many people think that growing in love is not sexy, they think it is spiritual and they think spiritual is not sexy. But if the foundations are not poured, the building collapses. To grow in love to higher levels of love, you don’t let go of the lower levels, you satisfy them. So sexy, romantic, infatuated (from time to time), values and more underpin the higher realms of love. However, instead of playing victim and complaining about your relationship, you know that nobody can do to you more than you do to yourself.

You can make your life as sexy, romantic and happy as you choose. You just need to get beyond victim and blame. Read the chapter “love is a lifestyle” and see just a few of the ways you can create passion and romance anytime you choose. It is important. Because it doesn’t always take years to move from infatuation to sacred love. It can take days. And if you sit back being all spiritual or playing the victim (like he’s just not into me) then, your love life and relationship is not going to take you to the magnificent place it can take you. Devotion, romance, authenticity, success, happiness, family and dedication do not come to you, they come from you. This is growth in love.

About the Author:
Chris Walker is a world leading change agent, an environmentalist and author of more than 20 books. Born and bred in Australia, he consults to people and organisations throughout the world on improved relationships, health and lifestyle through the application of the Universal laws of Nature. The result he offers is that we stay balanced, share loving relationships, work with passion, enjoy success, and live our personal truth. To learn more about Chris’s work and journeys to Nepal, visit http://www.chriswalker.com.au
Article Submitted On: October 25, 2006
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Deadly Relationship Habits

How many of you have ever been involved with a significant other who wanted you to do something you didn’t want to do? I doubt that I’m the only one. By virtue of a significant other relationship, there will be times when our partners will want us to do things we don’t necessarily want to do and conversely, there will be times when we will want our partners to do things they don’t want to do.

This is perfectly normal. The key, however, is what we do about it. Can you remember the behaviors your partners used to get you to do things their way? Dr. William Glasser, in his book called, Getting Together and Staying Together, talks about the seven destructive relationship habits. They are: complaining, criticizing, blaming, nagging, threatening, punishing, and bribing or rewarding to control. Do you recognize any favorites?

I like to add guilting to the list---this seems to be a favorite behavior of mothers. I know, because I am one. You can recognize this pattern in martyr type behavior. Saying things like, “After all I’ve done for you, you can’t do this one little thing for me?” I’ve actually heard some mothers play the “childbirth card”. You know the one. It sounds like this: “I was in labor with you for 36 hours! All I’m asking for is this one thing.”

I know for me, I am a world class nagger---just ask my children. The question of “Will you clean up your room today?” can be asked in a variety of different ways, with varying tonal inflections and volumes to convey a variety of meanings. By the time I’ve reached the end of my rope, it would frequently sound like, “How can you be so lazy! If you don’t do it right now, I am going to do something to hurt you!” (This pain usually took the form of haranguing my child for an extended period of time.) Does this sound familiar?

With regard to nagging, it is my belief that after you’ve said it three times, your significant other has probably heard you and is not planning on obliging you any time in the near future. Repeating your request most likely will be unsuccessful at getting you what you want.

Complaining and criticizing are other behaviors we often engage in to get our loved ones to do something they don’t want to do. Does this sound familiar? Why can’t you be more like _____________? Do you have to do it THAT way? Why can’t you ever do something I want? You never do things the right way. You are so lazy, stupid, frustrating, aggravating, etc. Do these sound like relationship strengthening behaviors to you?

I think the blaming, threatening and punishing behaviors are self-explanatory. Blaming sounds like: It’s always your fault. Threatening goes like this: If you do or don’t do ______________, then I’m going to (insert something you won’t like). Punishing often takes the form of withdrawal. It may be that we give our partners the silent treatment or we may withdraw affection or at least our enthusiasm during intimacy.

The last destructive habit to discuss is called bribing or rewarding to control. This may require a little more discussion. Bribing or rewarding to control does not mean the same thing as negotiation. Negotiation in a relationship is very healthy and necessary to the long term success of the relationship. It involves two willing partners, each interested in helping the other person get what they need, while at the same time meeting their own needs. Bribing simply means that I am going to dangle a carrot of what I think you want in front of you to get you to do the thing I know you don’t want to do.

I can remember often asking my youngest son to pick up his room. His room was always a mess and quite possibly a health hazard. I remember one day, I decided to put my nagging behavior away and try something new. So I said something like this: “Kyle, if you clean your room today, I’ll let you have a friend come over and play.” Do you know what his answer was? He said, “I don’t want a friend that bad.” And the room didn’t get cleaned! What a surprise!

Bribing or rewarding to control also needs to be distinguished from spontaneous rewards. Can you feel the difference between these two scenarios? You want your partner to attend an office party with you that he or she does not want to attend. In your best attempt to bribe him or her, you seductively express what you might do when you come home from the party.

Compare that to, you ask your partner to attend the party. He or she agrees. You go and have a wonderful time, spontaneously enjoying some quality intimacy upon your return home. Do those circumstances feel different to you? I bet they would to your partner.

No one likes to be controlled no matter how subtly or skillfully the controlling is administered. External control is one thing human beings are almost guaranteed to rebel against.

The bottom line is that we often engage in destructive relationship patterns with those people we claim to love the most. We typically don’t use these destructive behaviors with our friends. If we were to try, we soon wouldn’t have any friends left!

When we think about our progress over the past 100 years in terms of technology and relationships, it is very clear that we have made great strides in the technological field and very minimal gains, if any, in our relationships with each other. Can you think of things we have available to us today that didn’t exist 100 years ago? Today we have cell phones, computers, satellite, televisions, DVDs, CDs, space travel, etc. The list is virtually endless.

One of the reasons we have made such huge gains in the technological field is because those who are working at making those advances are willing to try a new approach when their approach is no longer working. They adjust their behavior to fit the situation. This is simply common sense.

However, in the area of interpersonal relationships, would you say that people get along better today than they did a century ago? Do husbands get along better with their wives? Do parents get along better with their children? Do teachers get along better with their students? Do neighbors get along better today? Most would admit that there has been little, if any, improvement.

The reason for this lack of progress in the relationship department is that when our external control behaviors don’t work to get us the results we want, we take those same behaviors to the next level. We are convinced that they will work if only we do it more often, harder or faster. In other words, we get a bigger stick!

The reason this mentality has survived the ages is because we can usually crank up the pressure or find the one punishment or threat that will work to get us what we want. Did you hear me say external control doesn’t work? Of course it works! That’s why we use it. The question remains: At what cost?

When we consistently use external control behaviors in our relationships with those we love, what does it cost? It costs us the relationship. I’m not saying the relationship will necessarily end, although that is a definite possibility. What I am saying is that we keep whittling away at the foundation of our relationship and then wonder why there has been no relationship progress over the past 100 years or even longer.

There are alternatives. There are ways to simultaneously honor ourselves and our partners. The first step is to recognize when we are using external control behavior. We will probably be able to recognize it long before you feel able to do anything about it. This is acceptable. Of course, the best case scenario is that from this moment forward, every time you consider externally controlling your partner, you stop yourself and use a caring habit instead.

However, if that is not what happens in your case, don’t despair. Recognizing external control is the first step---bringing it into your conscious awareness. Once it’s there, then you can make a decision about what you are going to do about it.

To learn about excluding external control from your life and implementing the caring habits in your relationships, visit www.TheRelationshipCenter.biz and check our calendar for upcoming teleclasses, chats and workshops.

About the Author:
Kim Olver has a degree in counseling, is a certified and licensed counselor. She is a certified reality therapy instructor. Kim is an expert in relationship, parenting and personal empowerment, working with individuals who want to gain more effective control of their lives and relationships. Attend our free teleclass www.therelationshipcenter.biz/FreeTeleclass.htm
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Relationship Advice: The Power of Touch

Action speaks louder than Words. This maxim rightly proves its content as when you have no words to express your love a Little Touch says everything for you. Everyone knows that you touch a thing when you are attracted towards it or when you find it beautiful. An affectionate touch brings back a relationship moving on a delicate path. Giving a soft kiss on the cheek, a warm hug, and a soft pat on the thigh or simply holding the hand of your partner makes him /her feel that you care and love your partner and makes it up for the messed up relationship. At times merely saying "I love you" does not work, these word along with a touch are more effective. Body language is the implicit vocabulary used in a relationship. When you are at a loss of words and want to make up for the mistake it is best to use this vocabulary.

A touch heals the sick faster. This healing factor of the touch surpasses are anticipation when it comes to relationship. A touch is a must in a relationship. It heals the wounds in a relationship than words. You might forget the words your lover said in praise of you but you will never forget that affectionate touch. A touch when remembered is like a booster to your relationship. Whenever you make a mistake, make the use of the power of touch. When you know that you have made a mistake and hurt your lover badly, do not give excuses immediately. Your partner may not try to understand or maybe not listen to you at all. First heal the wound with a touch. Just hold his or her hand and say sorry. Then you can move forward giving an explanation, an honest explanation. Your partner will understand it better as the touch has played its magic.

There are times when we all are very busy with our individual work. We are unable to take out time for our loved ones. Even if you try your level best you fail to do that. A little rub on the hand, just fiddling with his/her hair says it all for you when you have no time for your mate and long to be with him/her. The partner realizes your situation and does not nag you for not spending time with him/her. So it makes it up for your busy work schedule when you genuinely have no time to give to your relationship. The language of touch is understood by all the young, the olds, the deaf and the dumb, even the animals. It is a powerful expression of love that bonds the relationship tightly. So whenever in deep trouble with your relationship use this powerful expression of love which has all the love and affection filled in it.

Find more information visit: Power of touch

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Annie williams
We at Keepcondom.com are providing you the choices you can make, to select your condom brands according to your needs. Keepcondom.com
Submitted: 2006-10-28
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Relationship Tip - Keeping The Spark Alive

To be loved by someone could be one of the most beautiful things one may experience in life. A person can find his own ways on how he can express love to another person. It is overwhelming to be loved by another person especially when that person makes him very special in his life.

A person can express love in many ways. When a person puts his arms around the shoulder of his loved one, he shows affection for the person. There are also times that lovers look at each other and at that instant. They can feel that they love each other even without saying, “I love you”.

The experience of being cared explains that the person is loved. Knowing that the person is so important to him, and he needs him to survive. Love may be expressed through words and through action. Although many say that action actions speak louder than voice, where a person mostly expresses his love to a person is by letting the person feel the affection that is given to him.

Others may see it as very important ingredient for the existence of life. Many may see and feel loved in small ways. A person who loves a girl may call on the phone many even without something important to say. He just wants to hear the voice of his girl and misses his loved one already. There are acts of love that can show affection through physical contact like when a person hugs him because he wants to feel protected and cared.

Sometimes a short hug may not be enough for other people. They may not want to let go because they feel so great in hugging add to it the eye contact that explains everything. There is that mutual understanding that those two persons love each other and cannot get enough of each other. He knows that he is so special to that person because he is always there for the person no matter what the problem is.

It can even be embarrassing at times when the person cannot help himself but kiss the person that he loves in front of many people. A kiss can be a more sensual display of love and affection. There is intimacy especially when the kiss is initiated in the lips. Most people that are totally in love to someone show their love to the person by the act of kissing.

A person can determine if he is truly loved by his loved one is when there is intimate display of affection and care. There are also those appreciative partners that always find time even when the partner is busy at work to see the one he loves. The show of interest to whatever he says and listens to the advices that his partner says could mean that he is important to him. These are only few ways where a person can show and feel love to a person.

Many people wishes that the love they are experiencing would last forever but there could be times that the love can fade and can get colder. Here are some tips on how to keep the spark alive and make that feeling last a lifetime:

1. There should be an allotted quality time for both lovers to cherish some special moments together. Remember those happy moments where he gave him a special token symbolizing their love to one another.

2. If the love was affected by the busy work and schedule, make time to meet her at least once a week. Make a schedule to date her on an exclusive restaurant. This will put some excitement every time the end of the week is nearing.

3. A person can make a love letter and start all over again the way he has courted the girl to win his heart. Make every moment together like the first meeting. Nothing can be sweeter than the first time a person hugs and kisses his loved one.

4. Promise one another that the love shared will be forever cherished. Think about the things that were very special. Be thoughtful and show the care that once was lost.

Love is the best feeling that a man can ever experienced. Make every second spent with the loved one special. Take the opportunity to love and be loved. It is a gift that should be cherished and last forever.

About the Author:
HowToSparkRomance Staff
How To Spark Romance is a new directory on how to spark romance. From romantic date ideas to recipes you can use to make an evening more exciting, we'll show you how to be romantic.
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How To Attract Women

It is unbelievable how many men there are who are awe-struck when it comes to approaching and talking to women. But what I find really appalling is the fact that so many of them are laboring under some unfounded illusions about women that prevent them from making any move whatsoever. Let's examine some of these misconceptions.

Many men believe that, to be attractive, they have to conform to what women say and want. That's one sure way to intimidate yourself. Women usually say they prefer men who are tall, dark, handsome, intelligent, rich, athletically built. The truth is, women don't really know what they want until they see it. They only think this is what they want probably because this is what they've seen in their favorite movies or on TV. Most women will be charmed off their feet by men who are smart, charming, funny and good conversationalists.

Another wrong belief is that, to attract women, you have to like what they like and are interested in the things they enjoy. Some men actually pretend to like things that women like, hoping they can create some interest. Nothing could be further from the truth. Whether or not men share the same interests with women is secondary in the realm of attraction and romance. In fact, many women are attracted to men who are their virtual opposites in terms of personality and interests. This is important to point out because some men actually go out of their way to pretend to like the things that the woman they are attracted to likes, which is pathetic and unnecessary.

Even men who are fairly capable of attracting women still have trouble when it comes to sex, mainly because of the misguided belief that women will only sleep with them after they have gone through great and elaborate lengths of courting them. The truth is women, being human beings just like men, have the same needs and desires that we do. And that includes sex. They enjoy sex just like we do. A little experience in this area will convince them that this is true. Usually, women hold off from sleeping with men in order to avoid appearing easy or slutty. It is not because they don't want to.

A final misconception among men is that if they aren't any good at dealing with women, they aren't going to get any better. This is not true. Men usually believe this after years of fear rejection. The fact is that they are unsuccessful with women because they have approached women on the basis of misconceptions. Sometimes they have failed because they lack confidence and women can smell this like sharks smelling blood. But once these men learn to overcome their basic misconceptions, they can approach women with confidence and their fortunes will surely improve.

About the Author:
Kadence Buchanan writes articles on many topics including Relationships, Beauty, and Health
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Sacred Love - Different Love Comes from Different Motive: Relationships Thrive at All Levels of Love

The First Realm of Love – The Physical Realm

I love you. I Love the look of you. I have got to have you in my life. I can’t live without you. I am desperate for you. You are everything I have dreamed and more. I am aroused by you, and therefore I cannot live without you. You are perfect. I am yours and you are mine. You have no fault. I cannot think of any reason that our love will not last. I want to own you, marry you, posses you. I give up my life for you. I am infatuated with you.

I know this is highly charged. I am blinded by this love. I will throw away my dreams, my passions and my ambitions just to be with you. I also know, as people have warned me, that this love, this passion, this fire is unsustainable, but I am blind. I am blinded by my emotion and the chemistry that rushes through my veins. I have been warned, but my life was hell before I met you, and now it is heaven. Oh, even for just this one day, this love, this fire, this mindlessness, is worth it.

Don’t leave me. And please can you give up your job. Please don’t go out tonight, stay home with me. Why can’t you trust me? I love you. Where are you going tomorrow? Why didn’t you call? Yes, ok, I can give up that friend. Why are you watching television tonight? Why are you going to the football with your friends? Ok, I won’t stay late at the office. Fine, I’ll change for you, just give me time.

The second realm of Love – My mind

I love you. I think like you. Our dreams are so similar. I believe what you believe and I think what you think. I know we are right in our way of life. We are on common ground, we live to this code, and this code is ours. We agree, we like the same paintings, we like the same holidays. We are of the same mind, we are in love.

I have told people that they should be like you. They should be good and they should be happy. I have told brothers and friends and family what they should be doing and now, I have met you, and you and there is no need, because we agree. We agree, the world should be as we dream it should be.

I am not interested in what others believe, because we know what is right. Right for us, right for our lives. We are together and we know the way to the future. This makes me so happy. I love you because we are right for each other, and we know what is best for us. They warn us, that we are being closed minded, but I don’t care, this is about what we think, what we know is right for us. This is our life, our love. This is right for us.

The third realm of love – Emotion

I love you. I cry at the thought of you. I write these poems of love for you. Poems that express this romance, this beauty, this feeling so deep inside me. From the moment I met you I knew I loved you. I felt it deep in my core. I am sad without you, I am angry if I can’t be with you. I feel good around you, you make me happy, I want you near me all the time because it makes me feel so good, I need you in my life.

You are my sun, my morning, my every breath. You are the dew on my skin and the sun in my heart. I breathe you, and these roses, this gift, this meal, this wine, this touch on your shoulder, this sends shivers down my spine. I hold your photograph close to my heart and I celebrate you with happiness. I wait for your call.

I am sorry for my reaction when you came home late. I am sorry for being angry. I can’t help it. I feel so wonderful and I feel so vulnerable. I feel you when I walk. Oh my love, may this feeling, this romance last forever between us. I am sorry about those swings in my mood. They are totally unexplainable. Oh, my love, be mine forever.

The forth realm of love – The heart

I love you. Whether you come or go in my life, I love you. No matter whether you are well or sick, for better for worse, for richer or poorer, all the days of my life. I will love you. I will love you no mater what happens. I will love you. I know I love you, you and I are in love. It is destiny, we are friends for life, I love you.

I want you to be happy my love. Yes, why don’t you travel and see the world. Why not more to Africa and work, I will always be here for you. I want the family to be happy. I care so much for you. I want to hold you close, keep you warm. I want your life to be wonderful, and even more wonderful because of me.

I am happy that you are moving on from me. Yes, we are close friends. We have achieved a wonderful depth to our love, so much so, that you feel like my sister, or brother or something. I want you to be happy, and our friendship is vital. We can work together, be friends together for ever.

I am a bit sorry that the romance went out of our relationship. That we are such wonderful friends is amazing, but I really hoped that we would stay passionate. We grew away from that passion we had when we first met. Maybe we should have spent more time playing. I love you always, my love and my friend, forever.

The Fifth realm of love – Devotion

I love you. Deep in my heart I have known that one day I would find you. I knew that there was a lover, somewhere, whose life mission, whose life passion and mine would weave together to create something magnificent on this earth. We are like two musicians whose life purpose apart is quadrupled in value together.

We will serve our mission in life together. You bring gifts and I bring gifts and with these together, our highest calling will be to share these with the world. I love you deeply, I celebrate all the four realms of love with you, and now, this, our purpose in life.

This is more than me, this is more than you, this is sacred, our purpose together. We can do what we love in life and share that journey together. Thank you for opening your heart and your life for me. We are bound together by more than a contract of intimacy and love, we are bound by our commitment to something bigger than both of us. I devote my love to you, I know in this way we will give what we are born to give. My love is eternal, thank you.

The Sixth realm of love – Inspired

I love you. Oh stillness of the night, let my mind be calm, my soul be content, let my love become one with yours. We were two, we are one. We bind at all levels, from the physical and romantic to the emotional and fantastic. But most of all, we bind in light.

I walk with you, no matter where you go. I sleep with you no matter what you know. I am with you, always, awake or asleep, this is my eternal love. More than a pledge, it is real. I know your breath, I know your heart. I am not away, I am in your thought, in your realm, we are one, we are bound.

Know me my love and you will know you. Dive each day through the emotion and challenge and anytime you choose, you will find me. Choose love and I am here. It is one step beyond, yet more real than they know. Let me hold you without arms, let me touch you without sound, see me without eyes, I am you, we are one, in love.

The Seventh Realm – Unconditional love

I love you. Emptiness. I cannot know time. I love you. Emptiness. I cannot know space. You are not in form, although I know your love. You are not in sound although I hear your call. We are one soul, one love, one now.

Beyond the realms where voices speak, we are bound more strong than lovers who weep. We sit without mind, we sit in that time and we know each other. I know you when I see mountains so high. A lake so still. A wind so kind. I know you when nature reminds me, I am loved, I am loved, I am loved.

I look to the stars and there you are. I look to the moon, it’s not so far. I look into nothing, to the beauty of all, and there you are, not so far at all. Invisible one, I can see you in the beauty of the simplest world. Never so far. Never so far.

About the Author:
Christopher Walker
Chris Walker is a world leading change agent, an environmentalist and author of more than 20 books. Born and bred in Australia, he consults to people and organisations throughout the world on improved relationships, health and lifestyle through the application of the Universal laws of Nature. The result he offers is that we stay balanced, share loving relationships, work with passion, enjoy success, and live our personal truth. To learn more about Chris’s work and journeys to Nepal, visit http://www.chriswalker.com.au
Article Submitted On: October 25, 2006
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/

Lover's Food For Thought

The Family Love Teacher is disturbed by today’s new trend of older couples falling out of love after their kids have grown and left home. He wants you to ask yourself these questions:

How much is a successful and lasting love relationship worth to you? How much do you hate being in a divorce court with your husband or wife? How much do you hate going to jail for domestic violence? How much do you hate the frustration of being in love with a person who does not reciprocate your love?

The Family Love Teacher is advocating for more education, because the more marital knowledge you possess, the smarter the decisions you will make. He is urging every man and woman of distinction to learn how to build a joyful family. Here are some of the mind-opening questions he pauses to his seminar attendees to enable them get an insider’s grasp of the causes of marital failure. He stirs your imagination before sharing with you the essential decision-making knowledge you need to protect your love relationship for life. See if you can answer the following questions:

1. If the couple truly loved each other so much before they wedded, why would they be cheating on each other, separating or divorcing?

2. If the couple truly loved each other, why would they opt for the toughest decision that hurts the innocent children they brought into this world? Why would they care less today than before they married? Why would they voluntarily place the pain of their mistakes on their innocent children, and make them miss out on the full-time parental love of both parents?

3. If they truly loved each other so much, why would they be unkind, unforgiving, and insensitive to each other, calling each other witch, bitch, or monster, to the extent of calling for a restraining order? If it was true love, why wouldn’t they forgive each other and agree to develop a friendly solution to whatever conflict they had?

4. Was it lust, an obsession, or fashion? If not, then what was it? Is true love temporary or it really lasts forever? What are the facts? Why are more than 50% of the marriages not lasting a lifetime? Did one partner change after their wedding, or s/he had pretended to be who s/he was not before the wedding? Is there a way one can influence a partner to change for better and not for worse? How would this be done?

5. How does one suddenly fall out of love? Is love comparable to a vehicle for easy illustration – that it runs out of gas and requires continuous refueling and service maintenance to keep it running smoothly? If so, what type of gas does it run on? What are the critical secrets of marital success to keep your love growing stronger? How does one develop these life-shaping habits?

If you can confidently answer all these questions, then the Family Love Teacher believes that you have enough understanding to secure your love relationship. If you cannot answer these questions, then he wants you to invest some quality time in learning these timeless principles and techniques taught in this indispensable workbook titled, “10 Steps to Success in Love and Marriage”, by Alex Mugume.

Alex is concerned that in this information age, many people are still making blind guesses and repeating these heartbreaking mistakes, and yet all the consequential secrets they need to know are detailed in this workbook. Every smart person who desires to be in a great love relationship owes themselves this superior wisdom. Stop at your nearest public library or good bookstore and get this gift of infinitely-useful knowledge. Don’t wait to wreck your love relationship. Get this unique knowledge today, and start applying the 16 success mindsets you need to make you a better spouse. Now is the best time to start protecting your precious love-life and family.

About the Author:
Alex Mugume is a detail-oriented and highly regarded Family Love Teacher. He is on a mission to build more joyful families, and make divorce and domestic violence plagues of the past. Learn more relationship tips at, blog.bestlovinsgkills.com/
Article Source: NewFREEArticles.com

It Is Important To Have A Friend

Human beings are creatures that need social contact, just as much as they need to breath. Being uncomfortable when you are alone is a natural reaction. Many times in our life we feel and want to share our time, thoughts and other things with somebody. It will make us sad further if we are lonely and there was nobody you could turn to.

Friends are perfect solution to all problems of loneliness. As we grow up we all make friends depending upon our interactions with our peers. As we mature those contacts decrease in number because everybody has to follow a different path of life and everybody is not lucky enough to stay in the vicinity of friends.

Or worse we might just fall apart.

We loose contact with people as a natural process of life and work takes over.

Imagine what should you do if you realize one afternoon that you want to leave office earlier, which you have not done in seven years since you got hired, but there is nobody in your agenda that you can call and invite to join you for a cup of coffee, precisely because you practically never stopped working for the last years?

There are no such things as true friends for rent, or if there are, they are called shrinks and you have to get an appointment, so how can you manage to find or to make a new friend, especially in those horrible moments, when you feel you will do anything not to be alone anymore?

It is indeed correct that a true friendship means time investment, and, in the case of adults, it takes even more time to establish an honest connection with a new person. But what about those times in your life when work did not occupy 90% of your time?

Everybody had friends during childhood. Experts show that those bonds established during our infancy are the strongest and, as a result, why trying to build something from the ground, when there is something already built that only needs renovation?

That is why, specialists strongly advice you to reestablish connection with your old friends. The first step you should take, before dialing their number, is to invest some time and meditate on what led to this apparent lost of contact?

If it was something you did wrong, do not be afraid to admit it. Imagine that somebody comes to you after several years, begging pardon for something he or she did wrong. Would not you accept apologies? Of course you will and the same will do the friends you plan to contact.

When talking to them express you sincere feelings and donot be afraid to ask for moral support or spiritual counseling, if you need it. Put yourself in their position, and you will realize they surely cannot deny your request. But do not take advantage of them! Friendship is also about giving back, so always be ready to help the ones that helped you once.

What if you never found a true good friend? Than, no matter how old you are, it is high time you looked for one! Pay attention to the people you know and especially to the new people you meet.

Invite them out, but be careful not to become too aggressive. When people insist too much, we always tend to be more suspicious. That is why you have be patient, as a friendship takes time to build.

Nevertheless, never stop looking for new friends! Follow your intuition and maybe you will get to be the friend of somebody who is in the same situation as you are.
Seeking true friendship.

About the Author:
Arun Pal Singh
Improve Your Charisma - Become attractive, influential, successful, win people and make friends.
Article Source: http://www.articles2k.com

Relationship Advice: "I've met Mr. Right. Do You Think He's the One?"

The question is a common one: How do I know if this is the right person. Am I doing the right thing?

The truth is we're never quite sure. We gather the data of experience. Then we take a shot at life one way of the other. Right or Wrong? Only experience tells us.

So, how do we make a good assessment before the decision? Here are some questions to ask yourself.

1. How well have I observed this person's past behavior? Behind the "look good" behavior of the infatuation period lies the everyday behavior with friends, family, work colleagues, and with you. What you see in the every day behavior is likely to persist.

Do you like what you are seeing?

Can you live with it if it doesn't change?

Would you stay with this person if you knew for certain that it would never change?

2. Assuming you have a really good sense of the person's behavior, then do you love him/her? Before answering, consider what I'm actually asking with this question.

Do you love the person just as is, not as could be? Do you love for who this person is now, rather than the possibilities you see? Those possibilities may never come to pass. How would you live with that?

Is there passion inside you to see, be with, to spend time (alot of time) with this person? I've seen alot of people in "luke warm" relationships that were never hotter than that even to begin with. That's OK if it is your choice, but is this what you really want?

Does this person feel like the real thing, the real deal, the really true love to you, or is there still something nagging at you?

3.Assuming we have the behavior, and the love, is there a final something that will kill the relationship over time?

An addiction? Parents, children or other family that hates you? A commitment to something that will not leave enough time for you? A difference in religion that can not be resolved? Does he or she feel the same passion for you that you are feeling?

Let's be realistic: Love does NOT conquer all. I wish it did. If it did the divorce rate where I live wouldn't be near 70%. There's nothing wrong with making the choice for a committed relationship. But use your head and not just your heart!

About the author:
Steve Roberts is an experienced Marriage and Family Therapist sharing real life relationship secrets from over 20 years of practice. Get Insight & Wisdom for your Relationships at: http://www.whatworksforcouples.com
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How To Score An A+ In Your Relationship

Everyone wants to have a wonderful relationship but they usually don't seem to make it a priority nor do they have the right skills. Learning to have an A+ relationship doesn't have to be hard and boring. You can make it fun and exciting. Getting good grades in your relationship is easier than you might think.

If you want your relationship to improve, you can change it. Be the one to get things started. Don't whine that you don't have time for this kind of stuff. Don't wait for your partner to make the first move. Don't take an approach of "I will if you will." You need to be the one who gets it started.

Scoring a low grade in your relationship is an indicator that you need to change your approach. A wise woman once taught me that "If you always do what you've always done; you'll always get what you've always gotten." It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out. Before you change your approach, you need to know what you are shooting for. What is the ideal vision you have for your relationship? Strive to be as specific as possible. By being clear about what you want to accomplish you are more likely to achieve your desired outcome.

Follow these grade point enhancement strategies and you will be on your way to getting the A+ relationship you have always wanted:

1) Take time to assess what kind of partner you truly are. You can't start to improve until you know who you are and how you actually perform. It is easy to fool yourself into believing that you know all there is to know about relationships. Even the experts will tell you that there is always more to be learned.

2) Hold onto the hope that you can score a high grade in your relationship. Positive expectation is an extremely powerful position. You become what you think about. See yourself as a great partner. See your partner as being extremely fulfilled in a relationship with you.

3) Keep away from people who try to belittle your efforts. Negative people always try to make you feel stupid about trying to be better. In school, I remember the bright students were commonly considered uncool or nerdy for getting good grades. I see people who are afraid to show their partner love and respect for fear of what others might say or think. Don't get caught up in these concerns. Surround yourself with people who have A+ relationships and are proud to love and respect their mate.

4) Don't spend too much time deliberating when you will commit yourself to becoming a great partner. Just do it. If you wait for the perfect time or a time in which you are caught up on your list of things to do, you'll never have a great relationship. If you have a lot of responsibilities, strive to eliminate tasks that are non-essential. A total commitment to your relationship will help you get your priorities in order.

5) Improve your vocabulary. Your language will determine your destiny. Do your thoughts and words build up your relationship or do they destroy it? Secretly thinking negative things about your partner is almost as bad as saying them. Fill your mind and your mouth with words that magnify a wonderful future for your relationship.

6) Improve your memory. Remember all of the dates that are important to your relationship. These include: anniversaries, birthdays, Christmas, and of course, Valentine's Day.

7) Make sure your study area is comfortable. Clutter will distract you from focusing on your relationship. Get caught up on tasks and keep your space clean. It is hard for most women to relax when there are things that need to be done. Most men see a clean home as a reflection of your love for him.

8) Your ability to concentrate on your partner is crucial to scoring a higher grade in your relationship. Establish study rules. Make sure you spend time alone with your partner. Your dates don't need to be about addressing the problems in your relationship. The agenda needs to be about promoting the love you have for each other. I don't recommend a specific date night for most couples but do schedule time together and whatever you do, don't miss this class.

9) Get a tutor or join a study group. If you realize you are really lacking in skills then I suggest you get help. Seek the guidance of a therapist or join some type of group that promotes relationship skills. Churches tend to provide classes for instruction. These environments allow you to trade notes with others and learn from their successes and failures.

10) Pay attention to what you are doing during the times you are really close and getting along. Do this consistently. If you need help identifying these patterns, I suggest you pull out old photographs of when the two of you first started dating. Back then you knew how to score big points with each other. How did you think, talk, and act back then? I worked once and most likely will work again.

Just think what being a top student in your relationship will mean for you? No more hassles with C's or D's. No more worries about conflicts and dissatisfaction. You are the one who will choose your own place in your relationship. Make the best choice, and then go for it with everything you have within you.

About the Author:
Mark Webb, Licensed Marriage Therapist, is the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™. Sign up for Mark Webb's "Relationship Strategies" Ezine ($100 Value). Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com
Submitted: 2006-10-21
Article Source: GoArticles

Sacred Love - Stop the Rush and Think - Are My Actions Building or Destroying My Relationship

For just a few moments a day, stop the rush and contemplate the following questions? Is my mindset supporting a loving relationship? How do I really feel? Am I coming from anger or frustration, and therefore so determined to “make it” the way I want it, that I can’t appreciate it the way that it is? Am I looking at my love from the smallness of a victim, waiting for it to come to me, feeling rejected, and therefore always trying to prove my independence? Is being right today more important than being kind today? Has my drive for work overpowered the most important words in my life, I love you? If the answer is yes, please stop for a moment and consider the long term impact of such depreciative behaviour. Remind yourself, that the pain of regret always outweighs the discomfort of humility.

As a lover, it is wise to know where you are coming from in your relationship. If you don’t know this, you might just be projecting onto people, and won’t know anything about your reality, your truth or love. You might forget that what you think causes what you get. You might forget that there is another layer to life where your thoughts and feelings actually transfer to those around you, even if you wear a mask. You might forget that praying to a God or Goddess is a cruel joke if you cannot give love and respect to those whose lives you touch everyday. True religion begins in the reality of your home, and that reality begins with what is deeply immersed in your heart.

This awareness also affects your work. It doesn’t matter whether it is your relationships, your friendships, your finances or your work; you come from the same place in all of them. This is a vital awareness. Some people come from kindness, others from authority, mothering, or fathering. Where we come from in our relationships is the real mirror of where we come from in life. It is the real barometer.

I used to run outdoor experiential learning programs for corporate groups looking for higher productivity and better self-responsibility. I was always stunned to see people who were in fear and denial in their relationships, jump off the highest rope bridge to prove how fearless they were. This ego we have can masquerade around doing amazing tricks, but that is all they are, tricks, unsustainable moments where we “fake it”. The beauty of a relationship is that you can’t fake it for long. Your partner eventually gets to see the real you, and where you are coming from. You just can’t fake it at home for long.

Alone, we can be an angel. We don’t feel embarrassed because nobody saw us eat the whole block of chocolate, or watch that R rated movie. Being single is the same as being busy, we hardly have time to stop and experience the affect of our own thinking and feeling. We don’t even have to know ourselves. We just blame the world and get on with it.

It’s like being two people. When we want something from someone we can be really nice, and when we get it, we can be really careless. Most people are like that in business. They suck up to you when you have what they want, but when they have what you want, like the money for your job, they can turn into the devil.

Sometimes this happens in relationships. At first, when we are in an infatuated relationship with someone who we really want to be liked by, either at work or in a love relationship, we can be very deceptive because we are trying to get approval. So we put on an act in order to get this person to do something. We can’t trust just being our real self; we bundle up our secrets, hide ourselves, even from our children, so these relationships accentuate our shame.

When we live these two lives, we are coming from shame. Manipulating our presentation of ourselves in order to win approval or respect. Then we get into a relationship and we can’t hide it. They see our two faces and even if they totally love us for who we are, we don’t. And nobody can love you more than you. So, we start getting defensive and love is blocked again.

To understand something is to see beauty in it. Emotionally we look at people and see acceptable or unacceptable. Emotionally, we will divide life into these two groups, attracted to one, and avoiding (or trying to change) the other. That is the emotional life, trying to be more acceptable, less unacceptable. Emotionally, this is a powerful way to think because it breeds uppers. Uppers are more acceptable feelings and less unacceptable. But what if this acceptable and unacceptable is a lie? What if there is really a balance between them? You spend your whole life seeking approval, and getting equal rejection and approval. That is called depression, the ultimate fight with the laws of nature.

Long term, deep spiritual happiness comes from the contentment that grows out of the perspective of love. Love in turn, can only pass from us when our mind is still or balanced. This is the opposite of the emotional perspective. Here we have the real dilemma. Emotionally we are on cloud nine if we have uppers without downers (like without dislike) but they are unsustainable, and our true humanity is not made happy by infinite uppers. Just try it, Eat some ice cream. It made you happy. After 20 minutes you are not happy. Now eat some more ice cream. You are happy again, but after 20 minutes you are not happy again. So this time eat twice as much ice cream, in fact three times as much. Are you happier?

For every emotional upper there is a downside. For every dollar of wealth there is a worry. For every new piece of knowledge, there is the conflict of the old knowledge. So the emotional life is filled with emotional achievements (being liked) in which a person thinks, disillusioned, that once they get something, then they will be more happy than before. It is an obsession with the idea that material happiness, life and things and pleasure, are going to make them “happy”

But every something they ‘get’ has duality, two sides, pleasure and pain. From a distance, a new relationship looks like paradise. But inside that new relationship there is also challenge. Our delusional mind - the ego - thinks once we get something sorted out, we will be ok, but we are not. We are ok and we are not ok. Same as before, just in a new place. This is the world of the emotional person. Running after dreams that are really the source of some hidden pleasure, then, even if they achieve what they aimed for, there is depression and sadness. Nothing really changed. They are still lacking love.

About the Author:
Chris Walker is a world leading change agent, an environmentalist and author of more than 20 books. Born and bred in Australia, he consults to people and organisations throughout the world on improved relationships, health and lifestyle through the application of the Universal laws of Nature. The result he offers is that we stay balanced, share loving relationships, work with passion, enjoy success, and live our personal truth. To learn more about Chris’s work and journeys to Nepal, visit http://www.chriswalker.com.au
Article Submitted On: October 25, 2006
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/

No, He's Probably Not That Into You

Cosmopolitan Magazine has a nifty column that provides relationship advice to women from the perspective of a man called Ask A Guy. A most recent column featured the question of a reader wanting to know whether a guy was interested in her.

While, the inner workings of the male psyche may be a mystery to women, situations such as these are often self explanatory. It doesn’t take a guy or even your girlfriends to tell you that he doesn’t like you. The odds are if you have to ask, he probably just isn’t that into you to paraphrase Greg Behrendt.

In case your many years of reading Cosmopolitan Magazine, has not helped with your relationship knowledge, below are a few tips for discerning your would be paramours interest.

He Has Not Called You

If you gave him your telephone number, your email address, your pager number and you have not heard from him, he does not wish to speak with you. No matter how often you pick up the telephone to check the dial tone, as long as the phone bill has been paid everything is in working order. If spam continues to clutter your inbox, but no love not from your would be sweetie, your email is fine, he just hasn’t hit the send button.

You Must Always Call Him

This tip is an addendum to the aforementioned tip. If whenever you call he says that he is busy and, he didn’t have time to call you read the writing on the wall. There are 24 hours in a day, and if a man is interested he will make time to call you. If it’s at work, before, in the car before work, or in bed before he goes to sleep at night. Trust and believe that if he is really into you, there is nothing sweeter than the sound of your voice at any time of the day.

If you have called and left a message or two, or ten, and he has not returned your call, assume that he doesn’t know what a catch you are and simply move on.

He Has Not Mentioned Commitment

Unfortunately, many women make the mistake of becoming intimate with a man in hopes of turning a physical relationship into a more permanent and serious endeavor. If the word commitment has not been mentioned, take it as an indication that it has not been discussed for a reason.

The best thing to do would be to take some time, and learn from the experience. Read Cosmopolitan, hang out with friends, go to the gym. In short, anything but call him. That 2 months wasted on him, is 2 months that you will never get back. It is also a time when you could be meeting the real man of your dreams.

About the Author:
Lisa James is an avid reader of books and magazines. She is also a staff writer for www.suscriba.com Cosmopolitan Magazine Subscriptions and other a magazine subscription discounts.
Content Provider: http://www.my-articles.com

Reading The Signs: Common Relationship Mistakes

No matter how you slice it, the break up of any relationship almost always leaves at least one person asking, “How did this happen?”

The people who ask this question are the ones who fail to recognize the warning signs that point to a relationship in jeopardy. The reasons for which can range from being too involved in the relationship to being too detached.

As they say, hindsight is always 20/20 vision. The insight and wisdom you’ve gained, unfortunately, came in too late to do something about saving the relationship.

But that doesn’t have to be necessarily so, IF you are able to identify the problem in its beginnings and take the proper steps to address them.

So what are these warning signs? Below are some of the more common relationship mistakes that you should be aware of so that when they do come up, you’re in a better position to do something about it.

1. Cultivating false expectations.
Nobody is perfect, and yet, for some reason you may expect some people in your life to be just that. So when they don’t turn out to be the way you thought they should be, you become disappointed and wonder what you ever saw in them.

Now, it’s very likely, that you never meant to set the bar so high. But usually, this kind of expectation is set when the person in question is someone you regard very highly, and therefore idealize.

There is nothing wrong about thinking highly of someone, but remember, that they, just like you, are only human capable of making mistakes. So the earlier you incorporate this fact into how you see people and their relationship to you, the better you are at handling their shortcomings when they arise.

2. Assuming they will never change.
As the old saying goes, “The only constant thing in this world is change.” This applies to everything, including people. The person you now know may be totally different five years from now. This is because events and people in his/her life will affect how he/she is as a person. Whether you like it or not, the people in your life will go through changes and you should be prepared for that.

3. Leaving out interests and friends for that person.
Some people assume that for a relationship to grow strong, they need to focus all their attention and energy on that one person. Usually, what happens is that they lose time for other people in their lives, shutting them out.

This is about as bad a move as you can make for yourself. You are doubly at loss because the relationships that you’ve set aside feel abandoned while the one you’re focused on is experiencing a lot of strain. It will only be a matter of time when the person you’ve put so much time on will feel smothered and wants to take time off from you. When that happens, you’ll find that there is hardly anyone to catch you because you’ve left all the others out.

4. Conflicts are bad.
The next time you run into an argument, avoid the assumption that the relationship is immediately doomed. Remember that the other person is someone different from you and ultimately, will have a different set of opinions from yours.

Given this, there will be disagreements, but that does not mean that you cannot resolve it amiably. In fact, conflicts can help the two of you develop a deeper relationship with each other since you discover more things about that person. And as you work around these conflicts a deeper bond is formed.

5. Believing that you need a relationship to become a complete person.
Develop the attitude that you can stand on your own two feet and that you are complete regardless of whether you are in a relationship with someone or not.

Do not allow a hole within yourself expecting someone else to fill it for you. If you do, you go through life feeling incomplete, leaving you jaded and unsatisfied. Be in control of your needs and learn to be satisfied with who you are. Relationships are meant to enrich something that is already complete to begin with.

Being aware of these warning signs and taking the effort to change will save you a whole lot of disappointment and grief. You can only be a better person for it, which in turn, improves your relationships with others. And that leads to a fuller, more satisfying life for everyone concerned.

About the Author:
HowToSparkRomance Staff
How To Spark Romance is a new directory on how to spark romance. From romantic date ideas to recipes you can use to make an evening more exciting, we'll show you how to be romantic.
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Attachment And Reciprocity In Family Life

Relationships among generations have been considered within two conceptual frameworks, attachment and reciprocity. "Attachment" refers to the close emotional bond that family members typically use. "Reciprocity" describes the efforts family members make, to balance their giving and taking across the course of their lives. I recently read Joan E. Norris and Joseph A. Tindale's book titled "Among Generations," in which various theories and opinions are being analyzed in an attempt to estimate the level of support exchange inside multigenerational families and the changes that take place among the family's members.

What amazed me the most was the fact that the attachment a family member feels with other members of his or her family, is actually a concept relevant to all relationships, across the life span, not just those between parents and children. The authors suggest that it is likely secure attachments early in life set the stage for successful peer interactions in adulthood. In fact, evidence suggests that adults continue to look for relationships that provide the four characteristics one experiences through attachment in childhood; the need for proximity in times of stress, comfort when together, unease or anxiety when the significant person is not accessible, and a sense of permanence. Moreover, one could support that the perspective on social exchange adopted in this book is based on global reciprocity. This concept fits well within a life-span view of individual and family development, because it considers the biological, social, psychological, and historical context of social support.

The specific book was structured to engage the reader in the story of a maturing couple. The examination begins with the process whereby two individuals make the decision to become a couple. Then the implications that follow from their decision to become parents is being considered, as well as the intergenerational relations that result from that decision. Throughout this process the variable circumstances in which such family processes may be experienced are examined. The analysis conducted by the authors supports the view that parents' offers to help their adult children should not be considered as isolated incidents or unusual events. Rather, they are a part of an ongoing, mutual give-and-take relationship that occurs throughout the family's life-cycle and is revealed by the attachment bonds of love and respect a family experiences.

As the book unfolds a couple's journey through varying and changing relationships, it focuses on this life-span perspective, and presents married couples who stay together long enough to experience parenthood and grand-parenthood, to collect longtime friends and to experience lengthy relationships with extended kin. Furthermore, the differing experiences of single parents and reconstituted families are discussed.

Nevertheless, there are some family forms, such as lesbian parents, for which there was no reference in this book. In addition the cultural, religious and ethnic variations were not discussed to a satisfactory level, since the researched group was formed by well-educated, white, middle-class North Americans. Minorities that reflect diverse ethnic and racial groups have not been considered in this study. Thus, I am afraid to admit that the subject covered remains limited, thereby precluding comprehensive analysis.

Despite this limitation, the conceptual framework employed in this book is likely to have explanatory power across varying family types and situations. Attachment in childhood has been conceptualized as having a strong biological component. Recently, other researchers have argued that adult love is a mature form of attachment that still maintains its evolutionary roots. If this is the case, attachment feelings between spouses, children, and the other significant people in our lives should occur across situations and cultures, although their expression may differ. Clearly, future study should be directed toward such possible differences.

It is also likely that the need and the desire to exchange inter-familiar support transcended cultures and situations. Some researchers have noted that, regardless of ethnic group, older people prefer "intimacy at a distance"-having close and supportive interactions with their children and extended family but still living independently-as a strategy for managing intergenerational relationships. Whether these patterns reflect differences in norms of helping and reciprocity across ethnic and cultural groups is not at all clear. Perhaps practical concerns are more important. Parents' trying to come to grips with adult children refilling the nest is a recurrent theme in popular press. Many other subjects and subcategories may have to be researched and analyzed, before a global or multidimensional outcome could be concluded.

We should keep in mind, after the completion of this analysis, the power and dynamics a family has and transfers to society. All begin and end from within, philosophers have mentioned. Since usually the family environment is the first social interaction a person has, its contribution and influence on the mind and behavior that one creates is of great importance and future research should be directed toward this field.

About the Author:
Jonathon Hardcastle writes articles on many topics including Relationships, Recreation, and Family
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